Will my wife ever love me again?
I met my wife when I was 26, we fell in love so hard and fast. We got married exactly a year later. Before her, I was having way too much fun with more than one. I loved her, so I made a commitment and asked her to be my wife. A month before the wedding I kept thinking about how this was it, no one else.. I was getting cold feet. I married her though, and married life scared me. I was childish and immature. I told her it was a mistake and I had growing up to do. After being married for five months, I ran away and I never looked back. I cut all contact from her and I told her I didn’t want to hear from her. I moved back to Australia from Canada.
Four years later, she still remains the love of my life. I’m ashamed of not being able to be the man she saw the potential of emerging within me. Since she realized I couldn’t be a husband, she thought I couldn’t be a father. I never knew I have a three year old daughter until eight months ago.
I’m back here in Canada, and I am being a father to my daughter. I know my wife still loves me. I have grown and I am the man I couldn’t be back then. She has had a serious relationship with her boyfriend for a little over a year. I know for a fact she still loves me but she doesn’t want her heart broken by me again.
I made a big mistake four years ago. I realize she wasn’t going to wait for me. Is there any hope? She is my wife for God’s sake. I wasn’t a husband to her before… but now I am ready.
What do I do? How is my wife feeling over this? Last we spoke, I put her in tears because I told her she is my wife and I love her with all my heart, but she said she needs a man who won’t desert her.
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Tagged with: Australia • being a father • big mistake • canada • cold feet • desert • eight months • five months • god • heart • love • love of my life • Married Life • Met • mistake • serious relationship
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Put simply, she loves you or she wouldn’t cry over you.
The question you should be asking is if she will trust you. She may or may not.
If you are ready to be a father and husband and know it’s her you want, go for it and earn her trust back. It will be hard with another boyfriend there too. This will take time but if both of you work you can do it. She has to be willing to try.
Think about that hard. Question if you are ready. If doubt, don’t do it.
i dont know? what do you think?
You guys sound like a perfect couple for counseling. Lot’s of potential. past mistakes. Good luck to you…
Actions always speak louder than words. You have to gain her trust and prove to her everything you say. Be there to listen and help whenever she needs. There is still hope because clearly she has not divorced you yet. Don’t push yourself on her…
You should remind her as often as you can that you are not going anywhere. That you will be there for her if she needs anything. Let her know that you are there for her and your daughter. Put them first and soon your actions will speak for you.
Good Luck and Keep trying!
You need to find out if you can date her. Let her know that you are willing to start from day one. You need to send flowers, take her out to eat, take her out to her favorite places, and yes you may have some competition – but let her decide who she is going to be with. Just love her, put her and your daughter first, and going to church as a family never hurts. Good Luck
I don;t know what you can do that you haven;t already done–your wife has a point, you know. But I am proud of you (and this is weird because I don’t even know you!) for growing up so much & admitting all that you admitted to in this letter to Yahoo Personals. It shows a great level of maturity & growth. However, I don;t know what you can do to win back your wife, I think you need to just kind of sit back & watch what unfolds. I mean you have already told her how you feel about her, haven;t you, and what your goals are in coming back to Canada? So I thnk now the ball is in her court & you are going to have to sit back & watch it play out. . .sorry I can’t be more helpful, but really what do you expect from strangers? I guess you could try wooing her, with roses, etc. SHE IS YOUR WIFE still, isn’t she? I mean she never divorved you, did she? So I;d say you still have some hope–maybe I would put in a standing order at a florist’s shop for a dozen roses a week!!
To start, tell her everything you just told us. Ask her if she would be open to counseling. A marriage counselor might be able to get her to understand that you have grown and matured in the last 4 years.
You have to convince her you never stopped loving her, and regret everything you did more than you can express. It must have been so hard for her, being abandoned by her new husband, while carrying his child. Wounds like that are very hard to heal.
Just continue professing your love and regret, and be the best daddy you can to your little girl. Hopefully, she’ll find the will to give you another shot. Be patient with the bf situation. It will have to be up to her when and if she decides to end that. Good luck to you.
She still loves you but she is does not want to be hurt by you again. What makes you think you won’t get cold feet again? I am sure she feels that she can not trust you. I can’t imagine the pain she went through being pregnant and deserted by the man she wanted to spend her life with. The first thing you need to do is to be honest with yourself and make sure that you want her back because you love her and not because you share a child together. Make sure you want her not because you feel you can’t have her now.Sometimes we want things we know we can’t have. If you have any doubts, leave her alone because you have put her through enough. With that being said, if you can honestly say this is the woman you want to spend forever with, then you need to convince her that you are here to stay and that you will do anything to prove to her that you are not going any where. You will have to build her trust and this will not be an easy task considering your past. Be a father to your child and provide for the child. You must show her that you are making a life in Canada with no intent on returning to your old life. i think you will need to explain to her what you have left behind in Australia. What I mean by that, have you left another woman the same way you did her? Be honest with her and tell her about the women that you have been seeing over the past four years. I can tell you, this is where you had better be honest with her or you will never gain any respect or trust in her again. If you plan on staying in Canada, this would be a good time to purchase a home. This would help in making her understand that you have roots there and can not leave the area . Ask her if you have a chance with her. Tell her that you love her and you are willing to take it slow in order to prove to her that you will be around for the long haul. It is up to her , the ball is in her court. All will depend on her ability to trust and respect you. Good Luck
Imagine what she has been through. Stop putting pressure on her and give her space!
If you really love her you will let her know you are there for her. But dont suffocate her.
??????
WTF… yesterday your name was Eli and you said you lost your wife three weeks ago and you were devastated… and you might leave your kids with your parents… wtf is the matter with you???? You are not a very nice person at all….
Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts and a few bad apples