Back with my husband after I cheated on him and he can't get over it…?
After having my daughter me and my husband argued as we couldn’t adjust as he wanted to live the life he had before becoming a dad and our sex life was non existant. he is 42 and i’m 26 so there’s an age gap and he has a complex about it. Three years later and I had enough and I slept with an ex work colleague a few times which i’m now utterly ashamed off. I moved in with him but things didn’t work out and we broke up. i lived on my own for a year but started dating my husband again and we got back together. i told him that i was a tramp for doing what i did and that i was in a bad place then and wouldnt ever cheat again. we have been getting on fine and took my daughter to miami for a vacation. While on the beach in my bikini some guy wolf whistled and asked me if i needed any lotion rubbed on my body. i said no thanks but my hubby accused me of flirting with him. he cant get over it and he told me that he always imagines my old work colleague rolling around with me naked and it makes him sick. because he is a lot older he has a real complex and i love him and have made a real effort in bed. he banned me from wearing bikinis on vacation. how do i get him to get over this ? i want to be with him and want another baby with him. just because i have been naked with another guy on a moment of madness shouldn’t change anything ?
http://img163.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=81647_968ad1d9ad_c29_122_104lo.jpg#
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Tagged with: age gap • becoming a dad • bikini • bikinis • dad • Dating • gap • hubby • moment of madness • Non Existant • sex life • Tramp • wolf • work colleague
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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who you foolin? it change everything!
whore
can you post a pic of you in your bikini so we can be the judge of this?
It changes everything! He will never forget what you did! Even if he says he is over it, he never will be. Put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he slept with another woman? Than lived with her? To top it all off, how would you feel if he went back to you because his "fling" didn’t work out? Seriously don’t expect him to be all fine and dandy with what you did!
guys are utterly complex. and jealousy is an innate emotion that they hold. all i can tell you to do is prove to your husband that YOU LOVE HIM ONLY HIM AND THAT HE IS YOUR ONE! AND THAT HE IS WHO YOU WANT FOREVER! I’m currently doing this with my boyfriend and its a very slow process but its starting to work… slowly.. be patient be loving and just be positive. good luck and im sorry
your not a whore as the first guy said, everyone makes mistakes that they are ashamed of!! good luck and god bless you and your family!
time is the only thing that will heal that wound. now having said that i would suggest counseling. you said two thing that really concerned me. First one was you called your self a tramp. that’s self abuse. as long as your going to abuse yourself expect others to do it as well. second was that he banned you from bikinis. that’s lame. hes trying to control you. (unless that’s what your into) that’s a big issue. seek some help with a Professional. good luck.
Ok, I’m gonna be straight with you. You are not a bad person. You made a mistake. But here is the deal, your mistake hurt him really bad and just as if you would have stabbed him with a knife you can’t tell him to get over his hurt any sooner than you could force an open stab wound to heal faster. I know this because I am back with my husband after he cheated and I will never forget it. However, I love him enough to make it work, and that’s what you need to be thankful for, the fact that he is trying to make this work despite his fears of a repeat offense. Just take your time. It may take years. Just do what he needs, within reason and within your comfort zone, to make him secure again in your relationship. Time is the answer.
I still dislike my first wife for rolling around with some guy and that was 30 years ago . The second did the same . Dislike her to . Changed everything . All the good i thought about woman i found was just a fairy story . Kind of like finding out Santa isn’t real . Bummer !
Whore
Just my opinion: God already released your husband from the marriage the moment you even considered cheating. And, from personal experience, my 50 year old husband cheated on ME… I am 38. I feel the same way as your hubby. I can NEVER get the picture of my hubby and his mistress rolling around in bed out of my mind. It makes me sick as well. There’s a great possibility that he will never get over it, trust you again or love you the same. Only extensive counseling, renewing your vows and putting God at the center of your marriage can save you now. It seems so unfair that one mistake can ruin you. I guess that’s why God absolutely forbids adultury in the Ten Commandments…
Yes …It does change everything. Men or most men will never forgive infidelity. Also, Why do you want another baby with this man? The first seemed to have caused so much friction that you cheated? Oh and one more thing…just because you are younger than him really does not matter…If he managed to get you…Watch out! What goes around comes around. He just might find him a younger women or older who will not cheat. Okay…seems you have just added some detail to your question. When I typed in that web site porn came on my computer. What are you an adult actress? ps my children saw that because they are playing in the floor in the living room. I shall now agree with the first person that answered your silly question…..YOUR A WHORER!!!!!!!
How would you feel if he had some hot sex in front of you? How about you let him cheat on you so,he can feel better..his never going to get over it..and will always throw it to your face.You have to earn his respect and trust back over time not over night.No one is perfect.
You should stop flirting in front of him period no matter what his watching you making sure you don’t play him wrong again.
Your husband is having a tough time dealing with you sleeping with another man, plus he’s older and he feels insecure about aging, he thinks your still young and can be with any guy and that you can leave him any time. It doesnt give him the right though to dictate what you can/can’t wear or get jealous anytime a guy talks to you, thats being controlling. I think you guys need to go to marriage councelling.
You haven’t got over it yourself. I Quote "just because i have been naked with another guy on a moment of madness shouldn’t change anything ?"
There are manny other issues here concerning the relationship. It is going to require professional help. Counseling can help. But with him hurting from the affair and the time it will take to solve that issue (3-5 years) brings up a whole new set of issues for you.
"For every action there is a reaction!"
Cheaters are scum.
Also, why the fuck would you post a picture on the internet of you in a bikini after your husband told you he didn’t like that. You’re an idiot. Fuck you.
You are a loser for not realizing the importance of your wedding vows and keeping yourself only for your husband. It was an extremely hurtful and selfish thing you did, which now you still do not get. You are a weaker person than your husband for seeking out what you “thought” you needed instead of communicating with him and seeking help for the two of you before it was too late. People like you should never have married. You leave destruction in your path, which your loving family must walk through just to keep you in their life. You owe your husband an apology each and every day. You should walk on hot coals for him if he needs it to get past this shame you brought to your marriage. God may forgive you, if you are truly remorseful, but come on, you knew it was wrong before you did it. Become a better person who is more empathetic towards the pain you cause others. Your child will need a better role model.