So.. before i begin my story ill give you some background information. and please dont think this is just high school drama, because its so much more than that.
im only 17, and im in love currently but messed up and needs help emensly. this summer has been probably the roughest time of my life. before my current boyfriend i had another that i had dated for 2 years. just last month he died in a drunk driving axident that i feel hard to beleive yet hard to get over mentally. and my current boyfriend i feel is all i have left thats the closest thing to my ex. not that their alike. i just like comfort. who doesnt..
so all this sounds nice and dandy but ive messed up in the past and somehow it found me and payed me another visit. i dont want your pitty for my ex and i understand what your about to read is really messed up, so please no name calling or bi**h outs. just advice please.
okay so, to begin when i was dating my ex about a year into our relationship i got drunk with my friend hannah and her boyfriend we all messed up that night. i didnt nessacerily have sex with him, but we made out and i told my ex the next day. about six months ago my ex and i broke up for a while and yet again i got drunk and hooked up with his best friend branden. (which i deeply regret) he never found out about it… we broke up but he still took me to winter formal. this was around valentines day this year. on valentines day itself he was supposed to pick me up and go to a party where he said he was going to ask me out. he ended up ditching me and hooking up with my bestfriend who is currently mourning him because they dated.
about a month after they started dating, me heartbroken and angry desides to find another guy. i did his name was mason and he was one of the best wrestlers in our state. hes muslum and extremely hard headed (i soon found out..) lol. i had had one serious boyfirend before that and he had never had a girlfriend. we soon dated after he got back from sping break and it was good untill the little immature fights came. mason soon started breaking up with me over the dumbest things and i had never delt with that with my ex. i didnt know what to do. he became EXTREMELY attatched to me and i think i took it all for granite. i thought i liked him alot, but at that point i just got so fed up with it all i did something stupid. one night mason broke up with me and he sounded seriously different this time. i felt uncomforted so me being dumb called up brandon. we drank and did everthing but sex. (regrettingly) mason and i soon got back together and i didnt want to tell him because i didnt want to hurt him cause he was being post breakup but kisser and i loved it. he really trusted me. and one day after my ex’s funeral, brandon and mason become friends somehow and the secret slipped out. mason stayed with me to this day. he doesnt trust me and all of his friends hate me. everyone now knows about everything with me and brando too. and just recently i told a little lie and i lost all trust with him. i didnt relize it before but i really need him. i am a girl of physical comfort which is rare. please dont think im a sl*t. im truely a sweet girl that just gets put in bad situations and makes bad decisions. i know now i truely love mason and possibly want him for the rest of my life (i know im extremely young, im just showing you how much i care) i need help, i cant feel heart broken again cause it hurts. how can i get his trust back fast, even though i know itll take alot of time. im ready to grow up and change. i do have a problem with lying that i want to overcome. im done partying, even though i dont do it that much. i need help because i need mason. i love him.


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