An Ex-Wife’s Revenge?
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight,put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed.
Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,during which they had to move out for a few days,and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly,and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was,he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth,but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home….
including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON’T YOU?????
Nope! It’s a ’shrimp’y deal!!!
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Tagged with: air fresheners • background music • belongings • candlelight • carpeting • caviar • chardonnay • curtain rods • dead rodents • dining room table • divorce settlement • first few days • gas canisters • local realtors • new girlfriend • soft background • stench • suitcases • sum of money • third day
Filed under: Getting Even With An Ex
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hahahahahah.. that is to to, funny
i give you a star for that
keep them coming
lol thats funny
I absolutely LOVE this! Made my day! I could live with myself!
thats a brilliant revenge haha
That was great!
wow, thats a nice smart woman!!!!
Thanks for the laugh. Great way to start off the morning.
lol that was great!
a fishy deal.
thats great!
hahahahah lmao… i love happy endings 2! what a coincidence!
star***
lol..that’s really funny..thx
A bit too long, a bit too severe a revenge, but all the same funny enough to deserve a star. Thanks.
wat a gd revenge
hey thats a nice one..i could have used it in the future if u hadnt posted this…heheh jkjk..
The more you try to get revenge, the more problem you’ll caused it upon yourself so simply let things go and move on with your new life even though it can be tough but I know of people who are strong who just seem to keep their cool no matter how bad the situation is.
very cunning wife..
Yes, I am sure this has been on here before, but it is funny. I believe ex wives and girlfriends have really done this!
how positively sadistic… I like it. =D
Zzzzzzzz…… Zzzzzzzzzz……
oh so feckin funny lol, read it to my fella, n told him beware lol
lol…she got a house and they got a stink!!!
Good for her
that is absolutely a terrific story.. i loved it..
ha ha lmao
Wow, nice one!!
CAN NOBODY COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL!
although its still quite funny
too long!!!! but lol
how prawny.
that was great. star 4 u. wish i could give u 2.
what a shrimpy ex wife
And what a sweet revenge it is!
bit long….lot on the mind
i really like this one!
gooooood one
a star for you
NICE!!!! Smart lady! I bet she would paid big money to see her ex and girlfriend discover their new house was just as smelly!