I met him in my 1st year of high school ( i was 15), he was a senior (18 yrs). I had no idea that our relationship would become so serious. My parents got divorced when I was in elementary school, in a way he is the only positive man figure in my life. Our relationship furthured my dad and I’s rocky relationship, my dad found out his 15 yr old girl was intimant with a man, and I chose to side with my boyfriend and ended my relationship with my dad because I wanted to marry my man and no one would dare stop me.
NOW, things are a little different. I still love my man sooo much, he is smarter and more loving than my friends men. We always talk about "when we get married, when we have kids." Etc. But, I’m in college and a little more mature. My entire family likes my man, but absolutly do not want me to marry him. they say I can do soo much better. I admit he isn’t as handsome as I once thought he was, and I sometimes think their right. I’m encredibly attached to him, and always ask myself if we break up will I ever find a man like him? I also ask myself, what if I marry him and make a huge mistake? We do have different goals in life, he wants a family, and I want to travel, have a high paying carrer, and a family thats well off. What if I could find someone else and have a more exciting life?
Anyways, I told him all my feelings about my doubts on our 4 yr aniverary in sept. The same day he asked me to marry him, even wanting to elope. I told him i wasnt sure, im too young (19). We both still live w/our parents I can find a job and he has a business degree but worked in construction. He was shocked that I wasnt ready after talking about marriage all the time. I was also sad about how confused and unsure i felt.
Since them our relationship has been in a weird limbo. Well, last night I told him we either have to get married of break up because our relationship has been stagnant for the past year, and we cant drag our relationship on. He agreed and said he didnt want to be lead on for 4 more yrs. He again asked me to marry him and said the choice is all mine. I’ve been torn about this for about 2 yrs, but I did say yes. He was just so romantic and the thought of finally haveing change in our relationship felt nice. He acted like the happiest man in the world, and I felt like I just dug myself into a hole that I can’t get out of. We even set a date to marry in 6 months.
I feel like a peice of crap for not being ready or sure about us when he is 100% sure that I am the women he wants. When I asked him what he wants in life he said "all i know is that I want u to be my wife" now I just agreed to marry him and I don’t feel happy, I’m just depressed. How can I take back what I so firmly said last night, I was the one who told him he should get me a ring soon so we can tell our familiys. How devestating for him would it be if I broke up with him now, after he was so happy? I even talked to my pastor about it and all he said is their is no reason for me not to want to marry George, he even said he would do it that night, he said we need to make our relationship right with god becasue we act like a married couple anyways. True, so why do I feel so wishy washy. Should I continue on and marry him knowing I will be happy and loved, Or break up with the man I love because my mind keeps on thinking about reason not to marry him?
HELP!


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