How can i get over my ex whom i still feel strongly for?
My ex and i broke up about 3 weeks ago. He was the love of my life and we were together 2 and a half years. Our relationship had it’s ups and downs, but the way I saw it, as long as we were together we could work through anything. i guess he didn’t see it the same way. i’ve tried everything that i could think of to get over him, but nothing is working. i just cant escape that feeling. it’s like i’m obsessed with him. i cant do anything without it reminding me of him. even certain smells bring back memories. what can i do to get over him and not look back?
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Tagged with: half years • love • love of my life • memories • relationship • ups • ups and downs
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
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What you are felling is very normal and should be expected during any breakup – especially if the other party is the one who ultimately ends the relationship…
Him not seeing it the same as you is your BIG RED FLAG – that you were not meant to be with this person.
There is nothing wrong with remembering him and the good times, fondly… You just need to teach yourself to leave it at that… meaning – keep it a memory… otherwise, you will get ‘stuck’ in your life…when the right man comes along, you will be so focused on why you do not have your ex that you will be emotionally unavailable to others… this includes friends, family, kids, your job, etc… and that makes you come across as desperate — if only to yourself even (say you keep it well hidden).. Allowing yourself to experience the memories while acknowledging the end of the relationship was best for YOU too (not just him) – will free you!!
Don’t fight the memories at all – just get ‘over him’ by also realizing the ‘downs’ the relationship had were too much for him to handle and you need to be with a stronger man who shares the same values as you anyhow… (whatever values those may or may not be).
To change your mindset from obsession to ‘he is a memory’ only.. just keep yourself very busy.. when you notice sadness sinking in – call a friend, go to a movie, a bookstore (grab a book on a subject you will enjoy – please No how to get him back books!!), pick up a new cd, dance your rear off in your room — sing outloud in your car — you have real emotion you need to release in a positive way… join a gym… jpin a meetup group (depending on your age, there are TONS of meetup groups on meetup.com – its not a dating site.. its just singles or couples, etc who like to go out and keep busy.. invite friends over… go to the movies, watch TV, ride a bike, go shopping (and buy yourself a new outfit, get a haircut and your nails done differently, maybe go to a makeup store and splurge a bit – oh and dont forget the new shoes and purse!! — all that girly stuff is freeing and gives you the courage to start a new..).
Someday, once you can accept the breakup and just recall memories without wishing he was in your life – that is when the right guy will come along and make you realize — wow, I am so glad that I am single right now and met this one!
Dont’s
Don’t go out and get plastered and play the hoochie type girl.. you will lose respect for yourself if you try to fill your sadness with empty flings… (ok, you are allowed ONE only)…
Don’t jump into another relationship right away – its a big, big world. and just jumping into the next one does not give you time to process or to even realize what you want and what your real options are – and you will repeat the same mistakes with the next one (rather that means your mistakes or finding someone who makes the same mistakes as your ex – does not matter) OR you will go extreme opposite and find someone so different that you will have a whole new list of issues come up… IF you go to fast… so, instead work on figuring out who you are, what you like – with or without a guy in your life, honestly get hobbie – join a sport, start reading, scrapbook, or whatever it is you like.. do it and do it well… by slowly finding "YOU" first you gain great confidence and you will empower yourself which leads to strong internal happiness — which will attract the right type of guy..
You make a list of pros and cons, all the bull…. they put you though. and they are clearly your ex for a reason, if its a good enough reason then you have to try move on, time heals everything.. You have to convince yourself there is no hope you you two getting back together, that you can do better, that your better off without them. Though were just humans we cant choose or help who we like.
Time heals.
Meanwhile here are some suggestions:
Watch Sex and the City
Have a girls’ night in – lots of wine, pizza and other yummies
Go shopping – first set a limit of how much you can spend
Go to the bookshop, have a coffee there and read a nice book
Get a pet – with them around you dont feel so alone
and last but not least, dont force yourself to be over him if you are clearly not … yet. i am sure you had good reasons to break, so just take your time and at some point you will wake up and he wont be the first thing on you mind.
It will take a very long time for woman no matter what you do, the only thing that will heal a broken heart is TIME!!!