How to comfort my sister, her fiance called off the wedding that would be jan 09?
My Sister just called me telling me her fiance called the wedding off. I just met my sister 2 years ago, she is my father’s (I never met him, he died) daughter, making us half sisters. I don’t know her that well.
But My Sister and him have been together for 6 years (high school sweethearts) and the wedding is in January. They went to pre marriage counseling yesterday and he called the whole thing off. He said he couldn’t deal with her mom and that they fight too much and their are other people out their, he isn’t sure of things. Which I understand, I told her that at least he called it off now, instead of going through a divorce later down the road. I just wish I could comfort her. She lives about an hour drive from me and she is so lost, has no idea where to go from here. Any suggestions on how to comfort her, any ideas on nice things to do, thoughtful things?
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Tagged with: 6 years • divorce • fiance • half sisters • high school sweethearts • marriage • marriage counseling • Met • mom • nice things • Pre Marriage Counseling • sister 2
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Ben is right. Better to end it now rather than 3 days before the ceremony.
A long time ago, I went thru a horrible time. There was nothing that anyone could do to change the situation. But, there were a few people who were kind enough to just sit and listen.
Let me get the pain and grief expressed. They sat as long as I wanted them to. They let me talk about whatever I wanted to. They didn’t try to offer any solutions. No "you ought to do this" no "you ought to feel that." And especially never telling me that I should "get over it already."
That’s what your sister needs from you. Someone who can sit and listen, not offering judgements, nor opinions. Just listen.
theres nothing you can do except listen to her and let her know your there,in the end he probably did the right thing stopping it now instead of divorce later
She needs a girlfriend get-a-way weekend!
If you are able try to arrange this!
good luck
time will heal old love wounds
Go on a girls night out! That’s the best way go shopping, or whatever you might want to do or her that will take her mind of that. Make her laugh, it’s the best way. This is an opportunity for you two to get more close. Good Luck! And Best of luck to your sister!
There isnt much you can do for her other than be there for and her and let her know that you will be there for her no matter what. Sadly, there isnt an easy button you can push to make things all better, and it will take her time to get over this. ANytime someone ends a longterm relationship like this it will take a while to get back to your old self. Maybe you can invite her to come stay with you, or take her on a small vacation to a beach or somewhere where the 2 of you can just hang out and talk or not talk at all if that is what she wants, just something to take her mind off of things for a while. Good luck!
Drive over there and bring her some comfort foods/drinks, chocolates or something she likes, or arrange for a spa visit or some other type of pampering.
Be a good listenerer. Don’t tell her not to be sad or that she’ll get over it. Acknowledge her feelings. Don’t say anything about him being a jerk or whatnot. If they ever get back together that’ll make it awkward for you. Just be there for her and let her talk. Try to be positive.
Allow her to grieve her loss. Don’t try to cheer her up right now, she wants to be sad, and it’s important that she is allowed to work through those feelings. Listen to her, let her cry, let her get it out. After a few months, help her start to move on. That’s when she’ll want to go out and have fun. If you try to do that stuff now, she is just going to be annoyed and will only do it to keep the peace.
Tell her to just think about today. Don’t focus on the future. Just keep getting through each day, and it will get easier.
If you can go visit her, please do. You are very sweet for caring about her, it would be nice for you to go see and let her cry and vent to you. If you can not see her then call her throughout the day to see how she’s doing just to let her know you are thinking of her and you care. She needs lots of love during this time.
Good luck
call her on the phone and let her just complain about it to you. All she needs now is a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen to her.
I had to end my engagement less than 60 days before my wedding so it happens to many people. Tell her she isnt alone. And yes you are correct it is better to break an engagement than get divorced. If she is catholic she wouldnt be able to be married in a church again if she got divorced.
Tell her never to take him back ever even if he apologizes later. She is lucky that she at least got him into counseling my ex wouldnt even go with me to counseling. He was just fine with losing me forever. Tell her she did everything she could and this isnt her fault. He is a jerk and didnt love her as much as she loves him.
Just listen she probably will do most of the talking AND be prepared for her to want to talk about it for months. My wedding date was suppose to be 7/28/07.