How do I save my Marriage?
I have been married for 18 yrs. A year ago my husband had an affair. At that time we decided to stay together. Recently, he started hanging out and texting a friend "girl" and he said he was looking for something he did not have at home. I understand this for we both haven’t been happy for sometime and unfortunately did not communicate verbally or sexually. I am not sure he is even attracted to me anymore. He told me he was done and I felt so too. Then we decided we should seperate for awhile. I find I don’t want our marriage to end. What can I do at this point to save my marriage? I somehow hope there is way to get him looking back in rather than out. We have children and actually get along with eachother quite well. Any suggestions?
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Tagged with: affair • marriage
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Call him to come over and surprise him with a nice candle lit home cooked meal. Have oils out to give him a back massage. Do things that initiate physical contact and show him you love him. Then pour your heart out to him and tell him exactly how you feel.
I wish all of you well,
Kara
So besides the fact he cheated on you, you guys don’t talk or have sex you get along well??
If you want to fix all these fixable problems, ask him to go to marital counseling. It takes time to find someone you both are comfortable with, but sometimes hearing a third parties perspective can help you guys. I do wish you luck though, you seem nice.
In a marriage there has to be two to make it work. You may be willing but maybe not him. You are going to have to do the asking. Ask him if he thinks you guys can make it work. Tell him that you are willing but ask him if he would be willing. Present your points as to why you think the marriage deserves a second chance.
What do you want to hold on to? The person that you used to love? Just having someone. Sorry but it does not seem like it has been much of a marriage lately and I don’t know what it is that you are trying to save. But if you really feel like he is what you want in your live then it will unfortunately take both of you to save it. If he is not willing then you need to let it go.
You’ll have to start really communicating to have a chance. You’ll need to listen to how each other really feels without being judgemental.
Obviously, counseling is a must. I recommend Christian based counseling because it seems to me that secular counselors want to jump to the divorce option way too early.
A friend of mine recommended a thing called a Retrouvaille weekend. She said it was amazing and absolutely saved her marriage. I’m thinking about trying it myself. Look it up on the internet and see what you think.
Best of luck to you. If you believe in God now is the time to turn to him. He will help you if you ask. He is helping me and my wife put our 16 year marriage back together after she had an affair about three months ago. I’ll be praying for you.
It has to take two to make this marriage to work, not just you. And too me looks like he doesn’t want to work on it. You can ask him if he wants to go to marriage counseling, but will he go probably not. So the main thing is work on yourself and take care of you and keep your kids in mind first and what they are going threw because daddy isn’t there as much. If that’s the situation. Trust me it’s harder for the kids than for yourself. So you have to be strong for them. He won’t stop the cheating most men don’t. I hope everything works out for you and your children.