How do I win back my ex-husband, we jumped into a divorce to fast. I was cold to him&know he doesn't trust me!
I have made such a mistake, I was so cold&withdrawn from my husband of 13yrs& it finally ended in divorce. We r both Christians & vowed never to do this. We have 2 kids which r hurting from our mistake. I realize how much I love him&want him in my life and have told him on many occassions but he doesn’t think he can trust me now. Sometimes he lets me back in but then it’s like he catches himself&blocks me out again. He has started to see someone who has totally fallen for him but he says he doesn’t love her. I have tried all I know to do, I pray, read my Bible, counseling and go to church. I just can’t give up, he is my soul mate and the father of my children. He says he will always love me but it’s just not the same now. I have cried, begged, screamed, but all that does is make him think I’m crazy so I’ve stopped that behavior but I want him back! I have hurt him more than I ever realized! Please give me your advise on how to make him fall n love again! I feel so LOST!
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Tagged with: amp • bible counseling • christians • divorce • father of my children • love • mistake • occassions • soul mate
Filed under: How To Get Him Back
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You cried, you begged, you screamed, you pleaded and now you have learn-ed that this has not worked, so the first thing you need to do is STOP doing what has not worked. I first want to tell you that I am so very sorry for your pain and I know how much you regret of the way you have treated your husband. You have told him you were sorry, so he knows this. The problem now is to get him to want you, believe in you and most of all for him to re-gain respect for you. I know, this is all so painful to hear, but the reality is that your husband has learn-ed to disrespect you, not so much because you cried and begged but because of the way you behaved in the way you badly treated him, eventually leading him to lose trust and hope in your love. One shread of hope you do have left, and that is to slowly regain his respect for you. Without respect, there cannot be love. The way to start is to IGNORE him! Stop calling him, no matter how much you are driven to call him, don’t! Stop making up excuses to call him, stop playing games to get him to see you or talk to you. STOP it now or you will lose the little shread of love that is left. With that said, what you need to do is do all you can to reassure him that his freedom is secure, you do this not by words but by your silence. Silence is golden carries more over on a person than you think. In time the obvious will happen. He will begin to wonder about you, wonder if you love him anymore, wonder if maybe you are making an effort to move on. In order for him to have any incentive to want to come home he needs to fear losing you, right now he has no fear of this and so he is not driven to come back and work on things. And do not be available to him when he does call. If he wants to visit with the children, arrange it so that a relative or friend to be there so that you do not have to face him. Do not display any type of anger, sadness, happiness, just do not let on or her will think it is a manipulation on your part. This is why it is important that he not see you, for he can read you like a book. Do not TALK about feelings, what is on your mind, about your plans, do not allow him any information about you at all. We girls tend to talk too much leaving nothing to the imagination. HE NEEDS TO WONDER. This is not a game, this is how a grown woman who has any respect for herself behaves, she gives a guy that no longer wants to be with her his freeom. Many women have found that once they do this, it is to their surprise how all of a sudden the man WANTS to come back. ‘And sometimes the women ends up not wanting to have him back, some do. Go out and buy that book "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson, trust me it will help you through this and to get your husband back on the right path in the marriage. And if your budget allows it, it would also benefit you to buy that book, "The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands". this book will get you ready for a great reconcilation for a great start in your marriage. Good luck to you and don’t lose hope! Hugs!
all you really can do is pray and move on. If he loves you like you love him, then he will come back running. Don’t put forth anymore efforts other than prayer and love into those babies!!
Think about why you rushed into a divorce. Was it your first time actually filing?? What did he do to force you to go thru the process? Then decide is he worth going back to?
Time is the only thing that heal him. Did you break your trust with him?
Sounds like he is making up some poppycock to go and be with this other person.
Let him go and be with her. Anything that is chased in this life always runs AWAY.
Sounds like you want him back because there is a new girl in his life? does he not trust you because you had an affair? Big pieces of the story are missing……….. I don’t think you can make someone love you, love has to be voluntary………..Try being his friend for now maybe that is what he needs more than anything.
You want him back because someone else has him . You are just jealous and should let him have someone who is not cold and withdrawn.
what makes him not to trust you? give more info
There had to be a reason you were that way with him. He isn’t the one for you. He didn’t bring those things out of you and he should have
I have a feeling you will meet a great guy that will bring out the best in you . And you will feel loving ,warm, caring, giving and have more love then your heart can hold.
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I was married 18 years and divorced my husband for different reasons. He cheated.. I never thought I would find love again but I did.
I have been re-married 22 years and I am so glad that I was able to move on.
You need to try. I had 2 children also. They will adjust as long as they have two loving parents. Let him go!
You deserve someone to make you happy and it doesn’t sound like he did. I don’t think it was you .. I think it was him!
pray that God my lead you to where he wants you to be.
You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone……….. I think you should distance yourself and try to move on, focus on the future. If he really loves you he will be back. It even happened with my ex who left me for a while. Back then I was begging for him to stay with me, I was depressed for months after he was gone but now he is the one begging me! Lol