How Do I mend a broken relationship w/ my sister?
My sister, who I’ll call "Rose" has been estranged from our family for 15 years, because she feels that she was not loved unconditionally, especially because she asked a question and it was not answered in the way she had hoped. BIG Argument insued from it. The argument had been w/ our mother. 13 years ago I married.. I did not have her at the wedding only because of all the arguing. I have since apologized to her for the decision I felt was right at the time. I wrote to her 3 years ago and since then I have been trying to open the lines of communication w/ her. She Did respond once to a card I had sent to her, but not in a postive way. All I wanted was to open the lines of communication and begin rebuilding the relationship. Past is the Past. I am willing to forgive and forget the past hurts. Why then, can’t she? She has stated that she’s dealt with the issues from long ago. How can this be? She does not have her family in her life? How many more years can this go on?
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Tagged with: 13 years • 3 years • broken relationship • Communication • insued • relationship • Sister My Sister • W 111
Filed under: Breaking Up Tips
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You need to copy what you wrote above and post it to her in a letter. It says everything you are thinking and feeling since you said it to strangers. If you try and write it again, to her, it would be stunted and sugar coated due to trying not to say the "right thing". Send this statement to her and let her know your true feelings.
Good Luck.
One good thing is to get a BIG BUCKET of really cold ice water, and next time you see her, go running at her and DUMP IT ON HER HEAD….
Then just roll around on the ground in front of everyone pointing and laughing at her…
Keep in touch with her by sending cards or notes at special times: her birthday, holidays, etc. the problem lies with her inability to let go. Keep her in your prayers and pray that the lord will touch her heart and open her mind. Other than that, professional help on her part is a solution, but that would be her choice. good luck.
Well I have to tell you you can not fix a realtionship if the other person is involved. It is much like getting someone to marry you!
That said is there someone who she confides in or talks to?
Clergy another relative that could serve as a middleman?
You can send her a letter and tell her how bad you would feel if anything happened to her and you never had one last chance to tell her how that you love her.
if that does not work you just need to move on with your life.
well you made a mistake by writting a long time later, what you can do now is go IN PEROSN to her door and isnsists that you talk and tell her exactly how you feel and that you want her back in your life, she has to grow up too. Dont give up thats the worst thing you can do. Ask her whats going trough her head and listen to her let her talk as well and let her get it out of her chest. If you keep on trying she will see that even after 13 years you still want her forgivness she should see that is true unconditonal love!
Screw her, move on.
Life is temporary.
You don’t need these sort of problems in your life. your better than that.
Get her out of your life.
Stop feeling guilty and move on.
Never give up on her.
ok, i have the same problem with my sister. bc of all the arguing when we were younger and all the things she never got her way, she rebelled and disowned the whole family. well i tried for along time when i grew up and had kids to bring us all back together so my mother would be happy again but i learned as i grew up that u sometimes have to respect people for their decisions whether its what u want or not. my sister is unforgiving to us, but we all have forgiven her and thats what makes our lives go forward instead of living in the childish past. i would not recommend forcing anyone to talk or deal with a situation when u want to, it will only make them more upset to do it on your time. just let her know when shes ready her whole family will except her with open arms. that should be the last letter u ever right her.
Respect thoughtfulness and sensitivity and general genuine interaction wwith her in open love
Unfortunately for you, you can’t force her to be receptive to you. Sometimes people don’t see family as being the be all and end all. If she has been hurt so badly in the past, by you or your mother or whoever, regardless of whether it was intended, maybe she feels that family is not a strong enough bond for her to open herself to people she feels only hurt her. If you really want to rebuild the relationship, I would suggest you ring her perhaps and request that you have coffee or something together, to reopen the lines of communication. Tell her you respect how she’s feeling and you’re not trying to ignore the hurt she has felt for so long, but that you want a chance to make it up to her, to get to know her again, to see if there is a relationship to salvage. Good luck to you, but remember, it is her decision in the end.
You know it was kind of scary reading this. 8 yrs ago I had a fight with my aunt over a question..really and she has ignored me ever since. I have sent letters but they never come back so I know she gets them. In the end, you just have to let them go. Maybe it’s supposed to be that way. If it is meant to change it will but in the meantime, don’t waste your time and don’t worry. Just get on with your life.
This is very sad for you and your parents. However, please be ready to accept the fact that your sister may have divorced herself from all of you. Write her one more time asking her to meet with you, so the two of you can find a path to healing. If she won’t do that, then she isn’t interested. Please go on with your life because life is too short to keep mourning over a loss.
Number one would be for you to really understand what hurt her about the family situation. You will never be able to mend the relationship until you realize that you and your family may have contributed to the infraction which has lead to the estrangement. I don’t know the whole story, but this could be treatment long before the actual "blow out." She may just need an apology or it could be much more complicated than that. Usually, what I see in these circumstances is that neither side wants to admit they were wrong. If you are the one who is willing to take that first step, then do so. However, don’t think you will get her to admit her wrong doing. You may need to sacrifice your desire for an apology or understanding just so you can have contact with your sister. Finally, if your situation is more complicated, I advise you seek counseling.