My boyfriend/fiance and I were together for over 7 years, mostly happy, and very much in love. We planned to marry when he finished college (which he ended up dropping out of once he broke off our relationship).

4 months ago, he broke up with me one night (out of the blue) crying his eyes out because while he still swore he loved me and wanted to marry me, he "needed to find himself." He said there was no other woman but did not want me to wait for him. When we talked a couple weeks later, he said this was the best thing for both of us because he felt like he lost himself in the relationship and now he is free to be himself.

That really hurt. I wasn’t the nagging type and didn’t keep him from doing things. I feel unfairly blamed! We barely spent time together anymore and I didn’t even call him that much.

But now I’m at a point where I feel embarassed! I feel embarrassed that I didn’t see it before. He must have stopped having feelings for me…or else he would not have seen me as pressure, a burden.

I am going through something with my best female friend—where I feel like she is not giving me enough space–and wonder if my fiance felt the same way about me! Yet…I did give him plenty of space. The truth must have just been that he didn’t want me in his life anymore.

Was I just his comfort zone? I feel so embarassed.
Just to clarify, I suffered the usual grief–denial, idealizing him, anger, sadness…now I’m just kind of "waking up" to the fact that he simply didn’t want me anymore…and feel dumb for not seeing it before.



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