husband cheats but not want to talk after to save marriage?
We have a 2 yr old kid, 16 yrs of marriage. Husb wanted a baby too, he refused any intimate relations with me after conceiving (breasfed 1 yr). He helped me in the house, shopping, is polite, had a job, but
we had no physical contact at all. He kind of loves the kid but
in a very old-style way; cold, doesnot read books to her or
take her to the park.
He asked me not to force or ask for bed time with him. He would help with the kid when ASKED,he said he was 10% an active father. I am full-time working mum, and toddler in childcare 5 h /day when not sick, and I spent mostly of time alone with kid, bcz husb not showing any interest. Now, he had interest in a co-worker, no Xmas presents for us, emotionally is detached from us, he told me about having prostitutes and wanting to leave me before having baby , to find his freedom, does not want me, will send me money for kid. Affair is over, he is depressed, no job,
he does not want to talk, to leave, to save marriage. What can I do?
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Tagged with: bcz • bed time • childcare • co worker • freedom • full time • having baby • intimate relations • job • marriage • money • old style way • prostitutes • shopping • xmas
Filed under: How To Save A Marriage
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Time for a divorce hon.
I don’t every say this lightly but it’s time.
leave! u do not know if he has any std’s AND he has seriously disrespected u!
Throw that useless old boot out and be happy!
best thing to do then is LEAVE HIM!!! if he doesn’t wanna work it out…then he doesn’t deserve u…that means he doesn’t wanna put in an effort to save ur marriage…which means he doesn’t care…he could care less actually…so leave him…devorice him…&& never go back!!!
If he refuses counseling, get a divorce quick and make sure you get the child support in writing. You will have no problem getting custody of the kid with his attitude.
First thing you don’t do is support him because when you go to get a divorce you will end up possibly paying him alimony. Talk to an attorney as soon as possible. He sounds like he is really not available to you or your child and has no intentions of changing. So divorce or continue to live through hell are your only options. And what do you mean he is old fashioned because he doesn’t read or spend time with the child? I am 52 and I remember my father reading to me and playing all of the time when I was small. He isn’t an old fashioned father, he is an emotionally absent father. Really worse then no father at all.
maybe you should move on because that would be the best thing for you to do
You can either talk to me or talk to my lawyer and I will take you to the cleaners.
I would let him go. You cant make someone stay if they dont want to be there.
FIRST THING YOU SAID THAT HE IS DEPRESSED. HE NEEDS TO SEE A DOCTOR AND GET SOME MEDS TO HELP. HE MAY BE GOING THROUGH A MID LIFE CRISIS. HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF PLANNING A FAMILY DAY GO TO THE PARK HAVE A PICNIC. SEE IF HE WILL SWING HER. HE MAY BE FEELING GUILTY AND MAY THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF HIM. YOU WON’T KNOW UNTIL HE STARTS FEELING BETTER ABOUT THINGS AND STARTS OPENING UP LITTLE BY LITTLE. hOW ARE YOU HANDLING THE AFFAIR? HE REALLY NEEDS TO GET MEDICATED BEFORE HE MAKES SUCH A LIFE CHANGING DECISION. HE NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT THIS AFFECTS NOT ONLY YOU AND HIM BUT THE BABY AS WELL. i WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK
Honey you are wasting yours and your child’s life away with this loser. You can’t save a marriage that isn’t there. Leave, leave, leave. You can have a better life.
wow
i got down to him admitting he was a 10% active father and i was amazed to find out that you were still with this loser
no christmas presents for his own children? he has told you about having prostitutes? save the marriage?
oh, dear God, woman…
you need to find yourself a lawyer and get a divorce…it was over a long time ago
Divorce him. I know that seems like the easy answer, but hun… you cannot make somebody want to be with you or make then want to work it out. Cut your losses and go find someone that deserves you. He clearly does not. Good luck to you and your babies.
wow that’s sad…. don’t know hum… pray about it
Sounds like your marriage was over before you had your baby ("kid", sounds awful). He cheated, he doesn’t care, he’s not even a good father… Why stay with such an a.s.s.h.o.l.e.?
It’s over. Get out. You can’t stay in a marriage for kids sake, clearly he isn’t a big part of them and by staying with him, you are teaching them to choose a man or life style just like you are living in. YOu need to be a mother wolf and protect your cubs. This man isn’t going to wake up and be a different man tomarrow, he clearly isn’t invested in the marriage and it would take 2 to fix it with a lot of hard work. So your choice is, to stay in this and be lonely, have another kid and see even less of him and coldness twards you and kids, or get out, struggle some to make ends meet, but do it yourself, have a home of your own, not wait on a man to come home who isn’t interested, but focus on you and children, get back in life and yourself, possibly meet someone who loves , respects, and enjoys you. also who won’t cheat. So those are your 2 choices, make one, do you want to be strong, or do you want to be weak. Do you want your kids to live in marriages like this? then why would you live in one like this. YOu can’t change him, stop trying. No excuse for what he did, he exposed you to god knows what, he cheated on you and your kids. He has told you plainly that he isn’t happy, tell him to leave, what more do you need. Face the reality. I am divorced, I got over it, I’m very happy with happy kids and a comfortable home life. it’s great. I became that mother wolf.
Do you have any self esteem left? If not, do you want it back? Get the HELL out! How much does he have to treat you like a doormat before you say "I don’t deserve this?". Or do you think you do? Try this. Think about what is best for your child, which is what’s best for her (and even the unfeeling courts look at that) and do the right thing. Once you had child, it stopped being all about you. Do what’s best for her for heaven sakes!
You husband seems to have regressed to the mental aptitude of your newborn. May God help you. I suggest that you leave him. He has already abandoned you and your child. Staying with the one who betrayed you in such a manner is a tough choice to make. You are fortunate to be a woman in that the courts will give you that precious gift of life to nurture into something special.
you have one life…enjoy it…don’t waste your time on someone like that im sure you can do much better, and the child deserves better too…let him leave… i wouldn’t waste another day. things will get better. once a cheater always a cheater..my opinion…best wishes
DUMP THIS LOSER !!! NOW !!!
Get a good attorney, divorce him, get all the alimony & child support you can out of this total loser. Besides being hideously selfish, he is also unforgiveably CRUEL. I am so sorry you have lived with such an unfeeling monster for so long. Please get out soon before he damages the child any further and get a new, happier life for yourselves!
You have probably done everything you can to save the marriage. The faster you accept the fact that the marriage is over the better it will be for you and your child.Good luck.
He seems like an a** I would get a divorce and just be happy with your kids.
Leave n get over the loser.
He no longer loves you, and it is doubtful whether he loves the child.
My advice: save up some money (if you can), get a divorce, get child support payments. Move on with the rest of your life. He has already moved on anyways.