No Contact in a mutual break-up?
I wanted to get opinions on this. I read this article..
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=151186
…which is v useful. Applying it my situation is confusing. My ex and I were together for 2 yrs & lived together. I instigated the break-up but took 2 months to actually do it, by which time my ex wanted to break too so it turned out to be mutual.
She seemed way cooler than me about it and wanted to be friends, I did too but soon realized I wanted her back. We kept in touch for 4 months, with an equal balance of contacting each other. I asked for her back twice though, she said we need time apart & see what happens, she couldn’t make any promises & said I should move on. I started to find the friendship painful so I asked for 1 month NC which she was cool about. Once NC started I deleted her from facebook.
I called her after 6 weeks NC and she was angry about facebook, I apologized for not warning her beforehand but at the end of the conversation she told me (viciously) to never send her another friend request as she’ll ignore it. I was surprised because it was the 1st time she’d lost her cool since the break up. I e-mailed her the day after to say her comment was unnecessary and if she meant f*** you then fair enough I’ll leave her alone, I also wrote that its hard being friends with her as she puts up such a front (& makes frequent sarcastic digs at me) that I don’t recognize her anymore. That was 3 weeks ago and she never replied.
It’s been 7 months since we broke up now. Sounds like she feels like the injured party….I’ve written a letter apologizing for how I’ve behaved since the break-up (i.e. being friends just to try and win her back), and to say I hope we’ll be friends some day, and to wish her happiness whatever path her future takes. I feel bad because everything was on good terms and we are both nice people, but our last conversation & my e-mail response was quite nasty and I feel like clearing the air.
Not sure whether to send it or not though, trouble is I’m still healing & not ready to be friends. I’ll see her in 5 months at a mutual friends event. Will I do more damage by sending it, or by leaving her alone (I’ve no idea whether she hates me or not now)?
Related Information:
Tagged with: 4 months • 7 months • amp • being friends • digs • e mail • enotalone • facebook • friendship • happiness • injured party • mail response • nice people • promises • showthread
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
If you have already apologized not defended your behavior but truly apologized and told her how you feel i would wait until the get together waiting sucks but sometimes its the best thing, maybe you can win her back then, but if you find a lady friend before then do not bring her to the party or be all over some other girl it would come off being childish and hurtful even if that wasn’t intended, the whole making someone jealous thing is very rude, and if she does that to you she is not worth your time, don’t act desperate. i hope things turn out well
In my experience, out of sight, out of mind. No contact is best, regardless of the circumstances of the breakup. A breakup is a breakup, so it’s best to move on without contact.
Don’t send it. Just let her go already. I don’t want to sound mean. Just firm since I’ve gone through this b4
I don’t understand, what seems like an obsession with some people, to have to remain friends with an ex. It doesn’t seem as if you two are ready to be friends at this point, and probably never will. If she responds positively to your message, it won’t help you move on, if she responds negatively then it’ll hurt. So what I’m saying is, there is probably not much good that will come from repeated contact. Just leave it alone. 5 months from now you’ll both hopefully be way past this.