Does anyone have any advice?
I am in a similar situation as well. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. He is currently looking to buy a house that he has asked me to move into, but to be honest I am really not ready. When we started dating his ex was 7 months pregnant I think. In the beginning things were very ugly but I stuck it through. I never really felt like I was appreciated for that, Im sure I was, but after dealing with that for so long and trying to be there for him through all of it I just felt like I deserved some sort of verbal salutation. But that was 3 years ago. She is now finally doing every other weekend and this is absolutely not easy for me. Im 23 sitting having to do things alone because his daughter is over. He is a wonderful father, Im not saying that at all, I just am not sure that I am at a point in my life to always be the back burner, as one of your posts stated. There are so many things that bother me but everyone thinks it is so cute and funny. She constantly whines but still gets what she wants. She is 3 years old and still does not sleep in her own bed. It is ridiculous. This should have never ever been allowed and I said that before but no one wanted to listen, instead I looked like I was just being the bad guy. Well now he has to pay for it and frankly so do I. I have to sleep in her bed! Just leave her in the room, she will get over it. The more you buy into her and let her sleep with you the harder it is going to be. He will try to put her in her own bed but she wont go to sleep, so he takes her to his bed. Well of course if I knew that if I didnt want to do something and all I had to do was wait long enough I will get daddys bed. It happens every weekend! I have tried to explain that multiple times but it always just turns into a disagreement. I feel like they just want to do the easy way out so they dont have to deal with the repercussions. So what she cries for an hour, thats the way it is. It is only going to get worse. I have never loved someone so much as I love him. I just have a really hard time with this situation as it seems I am not the only one. I am glad I found this forum I think you all will be very helpful at least just being there for me to talk to, I dont have any friends in this similar situation. My boyfriend and I have an open line of communication but I feel like when we talk I either dont explain what I am feeling or he just doesnt get it. This is so hard for me and I feel like it is only going to get worse. I dont want to move in with him if a few days a week I have to sleep not in my bed and not because she is sick but because she is 3 and still sleeps with her parents! No this is not where I pictured my self at 23 and I am a very independent person. I have my own life. I dont rely on him for anything, meaning I could survive on my own. So maybe this is not for me, or maybe it is and there is a way to deal with this and you all can help me. This situation is nothing about not being in love, this truly has nothing to do with us not getting along, him and I have a great relationship, we are just the same age but in different places. I couldnt imagine being with anyone else, I just often wonder if it is just not our time. I am so confused and I have no one to talk to about any of this. Any suggestions?!
Related Information:
Tagged with: 3 years • 7 months • back burner • disagreement • many things • multiple times • repercussions • salutation • sleep • wonderful father
Filed under: Ways To Get An Ex Back
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
You mentioned nothing about wanting a future with him. Child or not, Id move on.
And as for the child, I would suggest you move on also. Im thinking a Jerry Mcguire thing, lets say your feelings do change about the child, and you start feeling a little more step-motherly-to-be, but not about him,. That would then make it tough for both you and the kid. And thats not fair.
You sound nice enough, but honestly you are not the parent. You can think anything you want about what’s appropriate and what’s not, but it’s up to the mom and dad to decide what’s best for their child. If you and your bf get married someday, I believe you should get a little more say as you’d be the step-mom. For now, you are just the gf. And to be truthful, if you are getting frusterated over an "every other weekend" arrangement, you probably shouldn’t be with your bf. That’s his child, and he’s doing his job being a good dad. You should be supportive of that. And just think, what would happen if the girl’s mom died or for some reason the little girl had to come live with you 24/7? If you’re not ready for this, you’re not ready. Your 23 and it’s not your child. Move on if you want to but don’t push your way in by pushing the innocent child out.