I am in a happy, stable (semi open) marriage with my man. He allows me to date women. We have been together 10 years. He and I recently met/got to slightly know a woman who is SPECTACULAR! Since the minute we both met her (and each separately the first time) we conected with her on many levels, and she was very flirty with us sep and then together when we met up together. We both got an immediate bi or lesbian vibe from her. But then we found out she was married but yet she continues to exude a flirtatiousness with mostly me the woman. (less with him now) Soon we will be meeting HER husband as well and will be hanging out as a couple. I don’t think they are swingers but I can almost bet SHE is at least bi (or closeted). I am SOOOO attracted to her that I burst out of my skin when I think of her!!! And when she was in my presence those few times, I got the same kind of energy from her that she also loves being in my presence! I am almost certain I am not mistaken with these vibes, I am also pretty sure she knows I am bi bc its openly on my myspace profile as such and we are friends on there. We are going to start hanging out as 2 couples soon, and though I am happy to be ‘just friends’ with the couple, my crush will always shine thru I fear. How, if, or when should I tell or show her I am attracted to her? At some point I don’t mind risking rejection if I do make a move and she declines. Because I know we and I could still be friends even with the humiliation of being rejected lol, but she is SO worth the chance to find out! Last time we hung out with her, she was excited about drinking wine together. If we have wine again, and she continues to be flirty, and I continue to be attracted, should I use the wine to my advantage lol…! And how do I make a move? Ask first or try to be a little affectionate and see what happens? In the meantime, I can’t stop thinking about her. My husband thinks its so cute… I am lucky to have the relationship I have with him and I will never leave my man. But this woman is literally ONE in a million and I would love to nurture whatever special relationship/friendship I can with her. And, where does her hubby fit in all this? Also, I am in my 30s the woman in her late 40s thanks!
Not everyone views marriage as YOU people do. 65% of people cheat on their spouses. I really hoped that someone with an OPEN mind could have answered my question properly instead of judge me. And for the first 2 responders, for your info, we have brought other people in before with nothing but bliss and fun for all… you should try it sometime! 
He is legally separated from his wife of over 10 years. They together have children, but she left him and moved to the other side of the country while he was serving in Iraq.
I have known this guy for almost 20 years since we went to HS together. It was only until he was divorced, that we actually met in person again after all of that time.
His ex-wife is extremely jealous of me now that things aren’t working out with the man that she ran away with.
I have never met her, but she has this opinion that the only reason my boyfriend won’t return to her is because of me.
That is not the case, however, he feels extremely betrayed that he left him like she did and was cheating while he was fighting in Iraq.
She is constantly on his case with him that he must leave our relationship and enter back into theirs (which was apparently miserable), because they are still technically “married” and they have children.
By the way, she ran away with this guy 18 months ago, and my boyfriend was in Iraq for around 15 months. He isn’t sure when the affair happened,.
Even though she wants me out of his life, I do have compassion for her. I know how she must feel, but yet she hates me.
I love my boyfriend and would do anything for him. We have been together shortly after this thing happened between them two. I moved across state to “help” him cope after his loss.
He doesn’t want to get back with her and will never, yet, she is still tugging on him constantly.
Anyone have any ideas of what he should tell her… I don’t want to get involved “talking” to her, because it would just make matter worse.
I feel bad for my boyfriend (and even her too)… there are times though, that he doesn’t want to answer the phone calls from her… she is constantly begging to be rescued from the situation she put herself in and vents her problems to him.
She has basically hung herself (caused herself all of her problems) and wants him to cut the rope…
We been married for 10 years and have a 10 year old daugter who has been the glue the whole time since Ive been a stressed out bitter self reichous jerk who brought many hurtful words to my wife for a long time now.
I have just had an epiphany and am madly in love with her again and can see all of my mistakes and for 3 weeks now have fixed them all except for the anxiety and insecurity of loosing her which is effecting me in every aspect of my life now but, I am now a changed man and at least my daughter will benefit for the rest of her life. She is alrady got plans to leave soon as she has enough savings to go and despite all my efforts to be romantic or just to make her feel special she kinda just rolls her eyes when I try most of the time. I have been the most respectful and fun Ive ever been to her and I think she is enjoying it.
Im not trying to find a way to have sex with her I just want to stand proudly becide her with her love till I die!
Any advice will be apriciated
Married 20 years. Two teenage children.
Difficult relationship/marriage from the very start. Basically is really seems we are not a good match at all. Many instances of horrible fights (some witnessed by the kids) including her getting physical toward me. She has attacked me physically numerous times over the years, some scars still remain. It has been a while since the last time. Maybe a year. She had an affair on me 10 years ago and we were separated for one year. During which she lived with this man. After I did my begging to save marriage and she refused, I re-connected with a high school sweetheart whom I feel is the love of my life to this very day. My wife finally came back and asked to work things out. I decided to try only because the kids were so young then. I broke that girl heart whom I was seeing.
The time since then has been the same with us as a couple. Some good times but so much discord. She has asked me many times to leave. She has multiple times told me she hates me. We are not good together.
Fast Forward: We are separated again. We are in different states now. This all due to her getting into legal trouble with the law. She is currently awaiting her fate with the courts. I have discovered she has been again talking to her lover from the affair 10 years ago. I have been alone, raising our two kids through all this. She cannot get a job because of her problems. In a nutshell, she has ruined our lives. I also blame her for health problems my father developed from all the stress of this.
I no longer love this woman. I took much time to gather all my thoughts and told her I want a Divorce. I have also told my children. I do not want to go back after all that has happened. And going back will have so many problems financially and she will have fines and penalties. We will have to claim BK. All because of her foolish actions against the law. And getting caught!!
Before I told her and the kids, I was resolute!! I have the support of my family. It’s sad, it’s not what I wanted for my life. But now she is throwing all the emotional cards at me. Begging, pleading, telling me she will change. Telling me I an ruining the kids lives. I am throwing away 20 years and things will get better. And she will get help with her anger issues etc etc etc…. Crying and Begging.
I was so sure of myself. And I think deep down I still am. But all her words have stalled my momentum. And because I do feel sorry for her, I let her continue to plead her case.
I don’t think there is any way the marriage is viable. But I am stalled at finally shutting her down and starting my life over. Why?
I love my kids. I am here for them. But I just can’t make the same decision twice based solely on them. They by the way are not happy with my decision….. But they don’t know all of what I’ve told above either….
Your Feedback Yahoo World……………..
After 10 years of being together he started lying, cheating, stealing from me, not bringing money home. He was a substance abuser and at times verbally abusive. We have been apart for 3 years and now I can finally afford to get the divorce…he has "found" God and wants to come back to make things right. He is trying to get on his feet. We have 3 children that need him and really miss him. I know he has a good heart but i am afraid to take that chance. It is extremely financially hard to take care of the kids on my own. He claims that he needs to be with us to live to his potential. I am lonely but I think that he should try to thrive on his own before I even consider taking him back. Is this wrong? right now all he brings to the table is our history (prior to him doing wrong) and that he is the father of my children.
I know that you are having an affair with my wife XXXXX. I love her very much and I want to save my marriage and keep my family together. Your relationship with XXXXX is NOT okay. This affair is coming in between us and making it impossible to heal our marriage. Please respect our marriage and end all contact with XXXXX immediately and forever.
If you so much as make any contact with XXXXX, either directly or indirectly, or if XXXXX even finds out about this e-mail, I will not only get LOUD about the affair, I will take LEGAL ACTION against you for alienation of affection. By-the-by (Note: by-the-by is a jab at "the other guy", who uses this phrase all the time) XXXXX does talk to me about everything, no matter how private the information, or how secretive you would ask her to be. Even if she tries to hide something, I can read her like a book. I’ve only been with her every day for almost 10 years.
If you contact her, I will know about it. Period. I already know stuff that you spoke with her about, as well as many of the things that you had discussed with her or did with her when she was at your house last Wednesday. I’m also aware of your dinner at XXXXXXX XXXXXX, and many details of your e-mail exchanges that she forwarded to me. I know of the secrets you shared with her about your mental condition, and XXXXX came to me crying when she told me about your time with her last Wednesday, and she has many times since said she is having doubts about our separation. For such a smart guy with a heart that is so susceptible and vulnerable to prolonged periods of agonizing darkness, you sure didn’t think.
If you now think you can pass a note to her under the table and expect her to keep a secret & not tell me, go ahead and throw the dice. It’s not just the XXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX I can contact. I can also contact the director of the XXXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX (his father), her family, your co-workers, etc… I’ll put a big huge spotlight on it, and my family & hers will treat it like a regular intervention.
If she decides to quit her job in order to avoid humiliation, that will be on your head, along with everything else.
If I go public, my claims and evidence will validate an already-existing rumor mill, and it will make things very uncomfortable for you both.
Just stop. Cold turkey. There is no reason for this to get any uglier for either of you. I care about Sarah, and she has a lot to lose, but I have a lot to gain and little to lose if this doesn’t end right here, right now, and forever.
I gave ten years of my young adult life to this marriage; I will make it my life’s mission to save it.
As to why I would want to be with my wife still:
Because she is the mother of my son, I love her, and even if she isn’t committed, I am. I DO have my limits, but they have not been reached yet. I am a very patient and forgiving person.
I am aware of the law in my state, and have read the compiled statutes. This is not blackmail, intimidation, or harassment. I do speak with my wife about it. She is in the fog of a new/exciting relationship and won’t end it herself. She also doesn’t think I will go as far as I will to make it end, and I’m not going to tell her if I don’t have to. My best course of action is to untangle them inconspicuously.
I’ve done much research before deciding this course of action. I just need to know if the letter is ok. Please and thank you.
Please… enough with the middle-brow advice and the suggestions that I divorce my wife. I AM being a MAN; a MAN doesn’t pack up and leave when stuff goes south. I’m not a coward; I’m not afraid that this will happen again. I am aware of the problems in my marriage, I am working toward making improvements in my life and in our relationship… I don’t need advice in that category, thank you.
Confronting the OTHER man face-to-face will not make me any more of a man than will sending him a letter. I feel my words are strong enough; meeting him face-to-face will only be seen as a threat and may end up with me being arrested. I have thought, researched, pondered, meditated, and considered WHAT I REALLY WANT, and HOW TO GO ABOUT GETTING IT. Once again, I am just asking for feedback on the letter.
Actually, she HAS forwarded me emails from him.
Here is some information for those curious about why I’m even bothering doing what I plan on doing:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-Your-Spouse-Caught-Up-in-an-Affair?–Stop-it-Now!&id=1869007
http://www.saveyourmarriagecentral.com/getinformed/articles/endingaffair.html
I don’t live in California. I live in Illinois.
we just had a babygirl – our first child. she is from europe and I am from the U.S. The last 4 months of her pregnancy (during which we were fighting and sometimes not even on speaking terms) she spent in her home country and during that time her ex-bf intervened and played the supporting role and now she and he are "together"…I am desperate and am seeking advice as to how to put our marriage back together. she will not go to counciling but has agreed to read some articles I have found on saving marriages. her claim is that she and I are incompatible because we rationalize about things differently and make decisions differently…that our lifestyles are too different but we’ve only been married for two years. she says her ex gives her security but this is the same guy who while they were dating for 10 years, slept with her best friend and her sister. All I want are my wife and daughter back. she is standing her ground and says she doesnt love me anymore but there was a reason she left him for me. I have to believe there is a way and that deep down she still loves me! I don’t want to give up. can someone please lend me some advice? thank you very much,
james
Im 39 and i have 2 kids. I have been living with a guy who is 10 years younger then me. I know
that we have love for each other but its not like the way boyfriend girlfriend love should be anymore
there is 2 much time that i feel like he is another child. he doesnt have a job so he is at home all the time so he is bored and restless so when his friends come around he is usually anxious to go with them. he used to clean all the time but now he waits until he knows i am beyond agrivation. he helps with about 0 a month and his food stamps. I have to move and i am thinking it would be best to make the move with just me and my kids. the new apartment that i found is a lot nicer then where we live now and his friends are "delinquent" types, most younger then him and always drinking and being wasted. I dont know how to handle things. he is not right for me and i am tired of his ways – he has to go but no matter how i tell him it never works – - the longest he was gone was for a month but he worked his way back. i think its the kind of thing where once i move i cant even be friends with him or else the same stuff will happen. please help me i need advice
i know that i am too old to be goin thru all this.
Funny saying it because last year i tried every trick in the book to save my marriage which was once healthy and everything i ever wanted…My husband hide few things about his ex and i found out later…they are in touch due to the child they have…I felt so betrayed but still i tried to over look ..Then he refused to have baby with me and week later went on to meet his child in another city..
I was with him through thick and thin….i have good job so i help financially…but my life is stuck in one place.
being with him for 10 years and now aproaching 31 i am to scared to leave.
PS for last 2 years since his secret is exposed we are fighting and few times he hit me and stuff…last fight got ugly decided to leave and thanked god we have no babies.
Now i have this great big plans…to start over and finish studies and save money..But sometimes feel like i wont be able to do it…or regret later that i left him.Though i dont feel same for him anymore…i feel shut down.
How can i take step of leaving my marital home and start all over…i feel so lost.
My husband’s three years younger to me & average looking. I never found him attractive, witty or intelligent but somehow liked him as a person before we got married. I am quite attractive but a shy person. He would make me feel protected and loved. I guess that’s the reason I got married to him.
After a year of marriage we started having disputes and he would end up hitting me. I will not say he’s totally at fault as I can be very rude when I’m angry but I still feel no one should hit a woman. Things in the bedroom were also never so great. After 2 years of marriage I was attracted to another guy and was very disturbed as I felt there was something missing in my marriage. I never let anything happen between us as I can’t imagine myself cheating my husband. Again last year I had a huge crush on a guy I met just twice and I think he felt the same way. I decided never to meet that person again because of the attraction between us.
We have a child now and my husband is doing quite well in his career. I think I dont love my husband anymore and wonder if I ever did love him. Dont feel like going to a councellor. How can someone else make me fall in love with my husband. I dont see any way out? Pls help!
P.S : The other guy was attractive, witty, polite..but I do understand that I just met him twice & he must be at his best behaviour.. So, I have forgotten about this other guy.. I wish I could fall in love with my husband (for my child’s sake) inspite of the fact that he has hit me several times..but dont know how..i did get married to him because I liked him.. even though I did’nt find him attractive..
My wife and I used to be very sexually active, and very much "into" each other. About 15 years ago an accident at work hurt her back, and she has had to have several back surgeries. Not much helps the pain, and she is getting worse day by day. We just found out she will need another surgery in a couple months.
I try to help her, god knows I try every day. I feed her, bathe her, rub her back, and adjust her pillows and TV. I cook and take care of the kids. The more pills she takes, though, the witchier, and bitchier she gets. We haven’t been intimate for over 10 years now…
I find myself looking at escort ads online. I even tried one once, the gal just took my money and left when I came out of the bathroom. A barrel of laughs. I understand I took wedding vows, but this isn’t the person I signed up to be with – I’m trying my hardest to be loyal. Please don’t respond with religious guilt, I need no more of that.
I just want to be touched, and loved, so badly…what to do?
I have been married to my husband 10 years this past Aug. In Nov. of 2008 we were having troubles. Not talking or doing things together anymore. He spent more time away from home than with me because we really were just roommates. I felt unloved and not appreciated. He felt neglected and that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. A family member told me that he saw my husband out at dinner with another woman. ( I later found out this was made up and he never did cheat on me) I moved out a week before Thanksgiving. I moved in with a man I had been talking to for about 3 weeks. He told me how wonderful I was and how he worshiped the ground I walked on. We went for coffee and spent time talking and those things my husband stopped doing. I after moving in he told me to get a divorce after the holidays. He had big plans to go to Florida and live in a year or two and he said how wonderful I was and how he wanted to be with me and even that he loved me. After I moved in things quickly started to change, he told me I should stay home and not spend so much time with mother. I was not allowed to go to the store or off by myself. My cell phone call log and text was to be showed to him every night. All the sudden we were not going out every night. He got home at 4pm I got home at 6pm. I was to cook dinner and then clean up the house. Then was to be in bed by 9pm. We became intimate about 2 weeks after I moved in and while it was new and and a little exciting at first, his constant every night wanting it was not the affectionate loving man he said he was, now it was more of a chore. Luckily I stayed kind of sick for a while so that kept him away. I found out he was a heavy drinker too. This is not what he told me. He began working later and getting called in to work at odd times around middle of Jan. Found out later he was starting to hit on another woman. So in Feb. I came home one night and he was drunk and ended up shoving me.Told him my husband never laid a hand on me and he wasn’t going to start. I left the house and called my husband to pick me up a few blocks from the house. We talked things over and he took me back. He apologized and said we would need to see a councilor and work on us if I wanted to come back, which we did. It has been almost a year now and things are going wonderful. We are talking more, we open up easier and its like we are new friends again. But when we were separated I told him things, Like how I was having a great time over there, this new man was so fun and exciting and we had amazing sex every day 2 or 3 times a day. They were not true but I just wanted to hurt him at the time. In counseling he brought them up and I honestly forgot I really said so much, but he felt hurt. I told him it was not true but he said he still thinks about it. He has never asked me for DETAILS about what happened or what we did. I did tell him about the accident though. While over there one night the condom broke on us and I had to go get the morning after pill. ( I was not using anything because my husband had gotten a vasectomy the year before). I felt he had a right to know about that. And now I wonder if I should ask him if he wants me to disclose everything else that happened or not? I think it may bother him, but I didn’t want to hurt him and we have come so far already I would hate open up old wounds. But I dont want him to think I am hiding anything, which I am not. I know what I did was wrong. We should have gone for counseling before I left. I should not have assumed he had cheated on me. I should not have moved in with another man and had sex with while I was still married. But I wish I could help him know how bad I feel. He loves me more than he should and it scares me how much he cares for me. He never once said a bad word or did anything to me after I left. I just feel so much guilt and hope we finally move past this. Our life is wonderful now and we are both working hard, I just wonder if there is anything more I could do to help?
My husband appoligised for his part of our original problems. We always had communication problems both of us. And they eventually caught up with us. The last few months before I left we either didnt talk or when we did it was a fight. So he would come home, get on the computer or watch tv, or go out to his buddies house for 2 and 3 hours. Our not talking caused me to feel unloved, so when we did not make love he was getting more upset as well. It was a cycle of hurt that never ended. I did not intend to move in with the other man right away, he lived next to my brother and I was suppose to stay with him, but when I left my brother said to go ahead and stay next store. I did not have unprotected sex the condom broke. I could not risk having a baby because of my diabetes, thats why my husband had his vasectomy. I know I was wrong. My husband said everyone deserves a second chance, if they are truelly sorry. He is so wonderful and I just want to help him any way possible.
it has been 10 years since we last heard or seen her. her mom wanted the parental rights taken away, but i refused to those terms. she was upset about it, i went back the next day they were gone
at that time we lived almost 2 hours away, the next day after the disagreement, she took everything she owned and moved. we don’t know if she live in the same city, or did she really take my child back to south korea. i am white, her mom is korean, my child was born in south korea but on u.s soil, i was in the military when i was stationed in south korea and we had a baby girl on the base. she was born in 1992 and lived 4 years here before her mom took off with , so what am i able to do to reunite with my precious daughter. anyone out there that could give me any advise please feel free to answer my very important question we miss our daughter. if there an agency of some sort please email your reply thank you so much.
My father has never been denied access to his grandchildren. He’s been invited to all birthdays, holidays, etc, he has babysat, they have visited etc. But he rarely sees them or asks about them except for holidays. This isn’t shocking as he left when I was nine years old and was gone for 10 years. Came back when child support wasn’t expected of him anymore. We’ve never had a problems respecing my kids until now.
Now he has contacted my ex behind my back, set up meetings between my ex and him and the kids and even called my ex instead of me to say he had a present for my son for his bday but never called me who the kids live with. And didn’t even contact me to tll me anything, I find out from my son and my ex!
He has always been manipulative, blaming my mother for HIS abandoning his children, never taking any responsibility. I bit my tongue so my kids at least knew him but now he is up to his drama and games again. There is also a court procedure going on with my ex and myself, but we do get along very well considering (me and my ex).
I confronted him and told him it was manipulative and disloyal and wrong to be doing this behind my back and gave a sob story abut how I keep the kids from him, blantantly bullshitting me to my face. He had the kids overnight one week before contacting my ex! So this is a lie he is using as an excuse for his actions. I have told him, considering all he has done, this is the last straw and I want nothing to do with him.
Am I right to be upset?
My father likes playing games with people..he played me and my sister against each other for years. Now that we get along, this is his new target.
His excuse to me was that I never let him see the kids then admitted the week before he had them overnight! So this is a huge game to him. He expects everything to be handed to him and never make an effort. He pops round for glory visits on holidays and then the kids never hear from him
My father likes playing games with people..he played me and my sister against each other for years. Now that we get along, this is his new target.
His excuse to me was that I never let him see the kids then admitted the week before he had them overnight! So this is a huge game to him. He expects everything to be handed to him and never make an effort. He pops round for glory visits on holidays and then the kids never hear from him
I been kind of conffused about leaving my boyfirend of 10 years, I loved him for many years but this year we couldn’t agree on anything. I tiold him I didn’t love him anymore and wanted to be inlove again. The problem is I’m not so sure I did the right thing. He is very heart broken and still calling and I find it hard not to talk to him.
Matt Hardy and Mark Henry have both been with the WWE for well over 10 years and they are still forever stuck in the midcard. Do you think a ship jump to TNA would bring some new life back into their stale mediocre singles career ?
My highschool sweetheart and I mutually broke up and remained friends when I went away to college. He moved on and got a girl pregnant within months, stayed in contact with me throughout these last 10 years. I ALWAYS thought that we would get back together (sentimental fool), and here I am a single mom of 2 and he is married to that same girl with kids. I haven’t met anyone I have fallen in love with since high school. How sad it that? Will I ever be able to move on? Why do I still miss him? Why can’t I just get over him? I still daydream that we’ll get back together. HELP~
My older 36-year-old brother claims to be "bi-polar" and is just using the system. I know plenty of bi-polar people who work. He was in the military for 4 years and was able to support himself before. He has been living with my dad for over 10 years and refuses to work, but he can spend his time smoking pot and having phone sex.
My father has cancer and will not be around much longer. How do I get this guy to work?
Sorry I forgot to elaborate..My brother has been acting lazy for the past 12+ years.. My father found out he has cancer only 6 months ago. My brother DOES NOT act as a caretaker for my father but only manipulates him to use his money for marijuana and recreation. My brother was in the NAVY and was never in contact with danger.
My ex dumped me after I got angry and cursed her for insisting she has to marry a boy whose 9-10 years younger than she is to get him a US citizenship for money. She just turned 29 and has 2 boys, 12 and 6 years old. I said that I would take care of her but she said I did not change and she wasn’t doing it to be with him just to pay rent and bills if she didn’t go through with it she would be kicked out of her apartment(she said she we’re not together long enough for her and the kids did not know me well enough to move in with me). She is on welfare and was on unemployment till it expired.I’m 33 years old and I own my home and a business so I did not understand why she would go through with it. Since then she doesn’t want to talk to me and says Im in her past. She called 2 weeks ago to say happy birthday and said don’t use this as a reason to think we can talk. I asked why she would wish me a happy B-day if she feels that way and last week I wished her a happy B-day she said she did not care she didn’t expect anything from me and told me to delete all her contact info. I still have feelings for her what should I do to get her back?
I was married for 10 years. I lived in Newton, Mass. I was the primary caregiver for my kids – for one year I was the stay at home parent and for the rest, my career was sacrificed so I could be home on time to cook, clean, bathe the kids, have them do their homework, get them to bed, do their laundry, pack their lunches, etc….. while the wife worked late at a big law firm, from which she was later fired. She started her own firm also in Newton and when business was starting to take off, she became very hostile and insulting, and constantly threatened divorce. I began to suffer from depression and sought treatment. Several months later she again threatened divorce – I’d come home from work and grocery shopping and her dishes from breakfast were still on the table – I held the baby in one arm while filling the fridge and then cleaning the table off with the other. She said I should use plastic bags for that instead of paper and so we should get a divorce – I said "OK fine let’s get a divorce."
The divorce was awful and she said and did everything she could to keep me from seeing the kids. Then we reached a settlement that delayed when she had to buy me out of the house, got a boyfriend and as long as he was around she wanted me to take the kids off her hands nearly every weekend. Since the divorce I’ve remained active with the kids, coaching their soccer teams (33-6-6 was our combined record), cooking, cleaning, doing their homework with them – everything I did before but also writing a check. She has dated an ex-con and then a night security guard. I’ve dated only sporadically and focused on the kids. We’ve had a great time, especially at my apartment in Winthrop, which has given them a regular beach vacation despite my low salary.
A while back I reconnected with an old friend. She has her MBA from a prestigious school and is 8 years younger than my ex. I’m moving in with her this weekend. She lives in NYC. She loves my kids and they love her. She is warm and kind and makes me happy and I make her happy. My youngest has met, and likes, her kids, and they like her.
My ex has never been happy, has spent the four years shacking up with quite a cast of characters, is now green with jealousy, and seeing red. She has gone to the police and lied about me to get me arrested and get a restraining order to keep me from any contact with the kids until a week after my start date in the new job – she knew when my start date was and this was deliberate. I’ve heard that the kids are upset that they haven’t seen me and that they will miss me but I cannot even talk to them to let them know it’ll be Ok.
I know I need a lawyer – I have one. What else can I do? My kids are 13, 10 and 5. What should I do? When will they be old enough to hear WHY this has gone down the way it has gone down?
Thank you.
well.. how do I start? It seems that my wife and I had a complete break down in communication. I am going to our holiday gift exchanges as examples.. and I need your input.
Birthdays: For her birthday, I left work early to get her a pearl necklace, a birthday card, cook her dinner and bought her a cake. She got mad at me because I was too dumb to buy her a fake pearl necklace (which I relaced with a real one later). For my birthday, she got me a robe.
X-mas: I got her a digital photo frame (8") (0) and she got me pajamas and a book (total ).
Valentines day: I got her expensive flowers and cake. I got nothing in return.
Oh.. did I mention we have not had any romantic relationship for like 16 months…. ? I don’t know if there is any way we could save this relationship….. the major problem is our communication is just terrible. she constantly seems to be attacking me and when i voice my concerns, she tells me that I am whinning… i am kind of fed up….
we’ve been together for over 10 years. things are getting worse. all concerns that i have becomes whinning to her. the way i describe it sounds like i am keeping scores, but how else can i describe it? i can not talk to her for more then 2 sentences about anything of substance before i get attacked. when she misunderstood me, she latches on her interpretation and won’t allow me to explain. gifts? all i am asking for to exchange them and get what i want. i don’t think she would be happy with a toaster.. would you? so i avoid giving her a toaster and i don’t think it is too much to ask her to do the same for me. it is getting worse and truste me, i have tried many things. i sense that she has no love left for me and perhaps, that will be the way that this will end. i feel terrible, because the time and memory that we shared. but i also know that her heart is not in it…. i guess i already know the answer.
i am very sad about this because i really would like to love and take care of someone who i have shared memories with for the rest of our lives. but i am so drained emotionally and mentally and the lack of romance in our relationship is eating me alive (i have many opportunities to go outside our marriage, but did not). sometimes i look at her, i still remember the way she looked when we first met and thinking about what has been going on between us, makes me very sad. i think there is a genuine lack of respect in our relationship and i really do not know if that can ever be changed. she may be having an affair… but at this point, if she would just tell me I swear I would wish both of them well and get out of this relationship. i am just so tired from all of this… and i want to know WHY .. and that would be good enough for me.
wife had a one night stand two weeks ago, i still love her, she says she loves me, wanna work it out. we hav a 6 yearold. first time shes cheatd, said it was the worst drunken mistake in her life. but it was 14 days ago right now, was she doing him at this time that might. how do i still love her , i said i forgave he, we,ve made love the last 2 nights(with protection) cause they didnt. how do i still touch her , how do i still make love to her, knowing what happened. our love life has always been more then satisfying for both of us, 10 years together, but how do i look at her in the same way, how do i touch her the way i did 2 weeks ago, i we both want to start over again together, but how?
Hello,
I will apologize in advance for the length of this but I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t feel like I have anyone who understands what I’m feeling. So I’m going to vent for the first time about my feelings here with you.
I just turned 28 and had a mental break down over my birthday. Now that I am approaching my 30’s I see that I have accomplished nothing in my life. I have been living from paycheck to paycheck working in retail for over 10 years now with nothing to show for. I still live with my parents, I am always broke, I have no friends, and I am terrified at the thought of going to school again. My life mainly consist of working lots of hours at dead end jobs that get me nowhere and pay near nothing.
Suicide lingers in the back of my mind often, but I know I could never go through with it because I want to be there for my 5th grade son. I am ashamed that I couldn’t have provided a better life for him. I lacked the ambition to stay in college because I couldn’t even pass my prerequisite math and english courses to pursue a degree. I feel like an incompetent loser.
My girlfriend of 3 years loved me and accepted me for who I am. We lived together for 2 and a half years. She was always supportive of me and wanted nothing more than to get married and start a family. I love her with all my heart. But I constantly doubted myself because I can barely take care of myself and my son as it is. How can I possibly have a wife and more children? I even cheated on her and she found it in her heart to forgive me. I took her love for me for granted.
I made the mistake of telling her I was afraid of being able to provide for her as a husband and ended up leaving her. Because I wanted her to be with someone who could take care of her better than I ever could.
Throughout the entire time we were separated we were still in love and intimate with each other. She made plans to hang out with me one night and I wanted to have a serious talk about getting back together. Before she was about to come over she called and told me she was just going to have a few drinks with her sister for a few hours then come right over and hang out. She ended up getting completely wasted without any consideration of answering my calls and telling me what was going on. It wasn’t until after midnight I got a hold of her and she was trashed. I was so worried yet disappointed at the same time. So I decided to hold back on getting back together.
After a few months I told her that I wanted to give it another shot and work things out. I would do everything I could to make sure we could have the life she wanted. Even though it was just a few months of being separated she was unsure because she finally realized that she could do better. I knew she was dating other people but she promised me that she wouldn’t become intimate with anyone else while we were trying to work things out. I trusted her with all my heart and took her word for it.
While she was intimate with me and trying to repair our relationship I was trying really hard to get her to stop seeing other people. She ended up sleeping with someone else. Someone who was loaded with money and could make sure she would never have to work ever again. Someone who was everything I wasn’t. When I confronted her about it she denied it. I trusted her and loved her so much that I blindly accepted her for her word. Weeks later she finally she admitted it to me what happened then ended up breaking it off with him. Then we officially got back together.
I forgave her and blamed myself for what happened. I could have prevented all this damage if I just had the confidence in myself to stay with her. To work it out I had faith that our love for one another would prevail and even grow stronger in repairing our relationship. We’ve been back together for 3 months now but I can tell her heart is not in it like it used to be. It doesn’t feel the same like it used to. My love for her is stronger than ever. But it doesn’t feel mutual anymore. Now it feels like I’m putting all the effort in repairing our relationship than she is.
I commute to see her everyday. I’m always trying to make a difference with the little money I have in improving her yard, buying her flowers, and taking her to the movies. I drive over 45 minutes round trip even if its just to see her for only an hour at her work, and take her out to lunch. I take better care of her than I do myself. I put her before me always. While we only separated for a few months but we were still in love and intimate with each other, and she totally broke my heart. But my love for her is so great that I look pass it and am eager to move on.
Before I left her I could have asked her to marry me and she would have said yes. Now I can tell she isn’t ready. When in the beginning it was all she ever wanted. Now that I’m ready to make that commitment I fear that she realizes that I’m not the best choice for her and the kind of fu
I’m on the verge of losing the love of my life. I hurt the only person who ever truly understood me. I’ve found myself breaking down and crying 4-5 times a day for the last 3 months. I feel that I am good for nothing. I have nothing to show for. Nothing to be proud of. All I have around me are constant reminders of how much I have failed in life. If it wasn’t for my son and having hope that I can still work things out with my girlfriend I would’ve killed myself already.
I imagine how much better off everyone would be if I was dead. My son would be taken care of better and happy that I wasn’t there to be a dead beat loser that wasted his life accomplishing nothing. My girlfriend would finally be happy with someone that can give her everything she wants and not have to worry about me holding her back and bringing her down all the time.
future she wants. In just a few months of being separated it has completely damaged and forever changed her love for me.
She was the only person I could have imagined a future with. Never have I felt such a strong connection with someone in my entire life. All my life all I have done is let people down and fail everyone. I was never confident enough to make things better. I spent the last 10 years of my life just barely getting by because I was a coward. Now I’m almost 30 with absolutely nothing to show for but countless regrets and bitter disappointments in myself.
All I want to do is spend my free time with her on the days my son stays with his mom. I have absolutely no friends and nothing to look forward to but being with her. She has a lot of close friends that absolutely despise me for hurting her the way I did. I don’t blame them nor hold any grudge towards their feelings about me. I completely understand their feelings about me. I understand she wants time to hang out with them. But when she slept with that other guy she lied to me and told me she was at the bars with her friends that night.
I told her that she needs to start building my trust again before she can go out drinking with them. I wouldn’t care if they hang out but I don’t like the idea of her drinking. In the past every time she went out for "a few drinks" she has always proven to be unreliable. She never calls when she says she’s going to, and never comes home when she says she’s going to.
She makes it seem like I’m making her choose between her and her friends but all I’m asking is for her to be responsible and not to drink. It’s not impossible to enjoy yourself without a drinking. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I just want her to be reliable and show some interest in repairing my trust in her and our relationship.
Is our relationship damaged beyond repair? I feel like no matter how hard I try it is never good enough. It is so difficult because I love her with all my heart I don’t want to lose her again. But at the same time she doesn’t love me in the same way like she did.
I’m not into bars or drinking. I prefer to stay home or go out and do things that don’t require getting wasted. I am aware that I have serious self esteem issues with how I think I have accomplished nothing in life but disappointment in myself. I feel it’s too late for me to make a better life in the little time frame my girlfriend wants it. What can I do?
Thank you for reading this.
My husband doesn’t work and I am working full-time. We don’t have enough money to go out and we are 8,000 dollars in debt. He hasn’t worked in 2 years and seems to not mind a bit. I told him it was okay, since he helps me at home with my 2nd job. If I ask him to work, he will tell me that he is going to wash dishes and doesn’t know how long he will last before he drops dead. He may or may not get a job and if so, may be very miserable. Is my marriage worth saving. I have a son who is 10 years old and I hate to hurt him. He is not his biologicle father and isn’t too attached, but has disabilities. I also take care of my mom. I need his help around the house and taking my son to school. Also, I am persuing a new career and studying at a university. Any ideas?
I’ve been married almost 10 years to a woman I love. recently she told me she doesn’t love me. Never really has. Not the way a woman should love her man. Guess I was blind. Never saw it that way. Frankly, I don’t believe "every" word.
But I’ve been doing my best to make her feel special and bring back that loving feeling.
She gets back rubs and foot massages 3-4 times per week. I make dinner more frequently, clean the house, put the dishes away, do laundry, try to appear positive and treat her to small things often.
I love her more than life itself. Just looking for some other things.
Let’s hear your best. Money’s a little tight right now so no extravagant trips/jewelry.
