I have been with my wife for almost 13 years and married for almost 2. I currently found out that she has had an affair for the past 6 months with someone she new from her past. The woman she was having an affair with is not gay, and was married go a man when the affair started. She would not leave her husband for my wife, but expects my wife to leave me for her now that her husband has left. My wife has moved out 3 times in the last 5 months, never staying gone longer than a week and always coming home.

As soon as she leaves she starts to text me and call me and tell me how much she loves me and misses me. I know that she has feelings for this other person, strong feelings. But I am not ready to be without her. I love her so much, and want my marriage to work and last and spend the rest of my life with this woman.

She says she loves me, doesn’t want a divorce, cant let me go, and cant stand to imagine me with someone else. But she does not want to let this other girl go. How do I save my marriage and make her realize that I am the one for her?


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Ok, so here’s the whole pathetic story. I’ve been (mostly) happily married now for almost 9 years (been together for more than 12), I have two beautiful children and I love my husband…wouldn’t want to be with anyone else (for a long period of time). The sad thing is, 13 years ago, I dated this guy for…wait for it…wait for it…FOUR MONTHS! Yes folks, four measly months and I can’t forget about the guy. Granted, he was my first love and I was all googly over him and he dumped me. But come on….it’s been 13 years already! Why can’t I get him permanently out of my head? He’s married with a child….met his wife 3 weeks after we broke up. I KNOW I wouldn’t want him back as a boyfriend, no way. But I can’t forget about him and still look him up to find out what’s going on in his life. So what gives?

I’m not really asking anyone how to fix this situation, I think it’s hopeless, what I want to know is if there is anyone else out there in the same boat and how do you deal with it?

Oh, and if anyone knows of a forum that is dedicated to this sort of thing, that’d be great, it’d be nice to meet others who are in similar situations.

THANKS!
I’ve spoken with the guy a few times, he was friendly over the phone. Deep down I think it’s just that I want us to be friends and we can’t be (don’t think he wants to be). I’m not sad in my marriage, and I adore my children and my life, I just can’t figure out why this guy keeps popping into my head. I’ve thought about seeing a psychic (for giggles and grins) ’cause I know what a psychologist would say (I have a psychology degree…HA…oh the irony).



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My sister, who I’ll call "Rose" has been estranged from our family for 15 years, because she feels that she was not loved unconditionally, especially because she asked a question and it was not answered in the way she had hoped. BIG Argument insued from it. The argument had been w/ our mother. 13 years ago I married.. I did not have her at the wedding only because of all the arguing. I have since apologized to her for the decision I felt was right at the time. I wrote to her 3 years ago and since then I have been trying to open the lines of communication w/ her. She Did respond once to a card I had sent to her, but not in a postive way. All I wanted was to open the lines of communication and begin rebuilding the relationship. Past is the Past. I am willing to forgive and forget the past hurts. Why then, can’t she? She has stated that she’s dealt with the issues from long ago. How can this be? She does not have her family in her life? How many more years can this go on?


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Okay so Im 13 years old and I have a boyfriend, and me and him have been going out for 4 months now. Ever since last month I started to like this guy who has been talking to me being really sweet to me, he also has been talking to me in myspace[= . I know that he likes me because he shows it. Anyways last thursday I told my boyfriend about that guy ive been talking to and I said I liked him. The reason why I said this is because I wanted to be honest with him. After I said this I cryed because he made me feel SUPER guilty. Then he started ignoring me and crying.

After that things seemed to work out because his friend fixed things up between us. but I am not happy with this guy because I am just tired of him…hes super sweet and says he loves me, and never wants to let go of me because Im the best thing he ever had in his life.

I truley dont love him, just ”like” and I feel really bad about this, I really want to breakup with him but I will feel super bad because he will cry like a baby! and ty to get me back again. I want to break up with him because I want to be free and single not just because that other guy i like but because iam not happy at all!
I dont know how to breakup with him because I am scared and i get really nervous and start to twitch (Lol)

Please help me Im scared.!
10 points for best answer!
Thankyou for your help![=


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Why not Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

Kareem played 14 years in the Lakers while Magic only played 13 years (Due of HIV).

It was a 33 year old Kareem who was NBA MVP in Magic’s rookie season. I’m sure we all have seen the video of Kareem hitting the game-winning skyhook in Magic’s very first game (the game was recently re-broadcast in its entirety on NBA TV). That’s the game when Magic jumped on Kareem after the shot, hugging him and not letting go….

From Magic’s rookie year in 1979-80 through the 1985-86 season, Kareem was the unquestioned leader of the Lakers.

Magic didn’t even make first team all-NBA until his FOURTH season in the league (1982-83).

1980 – Magic’s rookie year – Kareem 1st team, Magic nothing. Kareem was also 1st team all-defense. Kareem age 33, Magic age 20. Although Kareem was the real MVP of the playoffs, Magic got the award because of his game 6 performance (truly one of the great playoff performances of all time). Kareem avg 33.4 ppg in the finals, to go with 13.6 rebounds, 3.2 assists and 4.6 blocks. Magic avg 21.5 ppg 11.2 rpg and 8.7 apg 2.7 steals. The seven writers actually voted 4-3 for Kareem, but one writer changed his mind and they ended up giving Magic the award. In game 5 of the finals, with the series tied at 2-2, Kareem’s ankle is injured in the 3rd quarter and he has to leave the game. He comes back and scores 14 of his 40 points in the 4th quarter, including the game clinching 3 point play in the final 30 seconds (slammed a dunk over Dr J and drew the foul).

1981 – Kareem 1st team, Magic nothing (Mag was injured for part of that year). Again, Kareem 1st team all-defense as well. Kareem age 34, Magic age 21. With the Lakers down by a point in the 3rd and deciding game of their first round playoff series against Houston, it was Magic who took the ball to the hoop and threw up an air ball in the lane, which lost the series for the Lakers (I know, you don’t lose a series on one play, but Magic took it upon himself to win that game, and failed big time).

1982 – Kareem 2nd team (behind Moses Malone), Magic 2nd team. Keep in mind only one center is selected, vs. two guards. Magic was 2nd team (along with Sidney Moncrief) behind 1st team guards Gus Williams and George Gervin. Neither Moncrief nor Williams is a HOFer, while Moses Malone is a top 15 player of all time. Kareem age 35 Magic 22

1983 – Kareem 2nd team (again behind Moses), Magic 1st team (FINALLY)…again, one center is selected, vs 2 guards. Kareem age 36, Magic age 23

1984 – Both Kareem & Magic make 1st team all-NBA, Kareem is also 2nd team all-defense at age 37. Magic age 24

1985 – Magic 1st team all-NBA, Kareem 2nd team (again, behind Moses Malone). Kareem wins finals MVP at age 38, going against the greatest front line in NBA history, in their prime. Kareem’s 30 point, 17 rebound performance in game 2 of the finals changes the course of that series, after Boston blew out the Lakers in the Memorial Day Massacre 148-114. Kareem was 38 y.o, Magic was 25

1986 – Kareem 1st team all-NBA at the age of 39. (read that again). Second team center was Olajuwon Magic also 1st team all-NBA. Ages Kareem 39 , Magic 26

1987 – This was when Magic took over the season-long leadership of the Lakers. Kareem was 40 years old, Magic 27. Magic wins his first MVP award that season, and was finals MVP for the 3rd time as well (1980, 1982 and 1987).

Here are Kareem and Magic’s scoring averages (Kareem’s # first) during the years they played together:

1980 – 24.8 / 18.0 (3rd leading scorer on the Lakers, after KAJ and Wilkes)
1981 – 26.2 / 21.6 (3rd, Magic played only 37 games, Wilkes was 2nd)
1982 – 23.9 / 18.6 (3rd Wilkes was 2nd)
1983 – 21.8 / 16.8 (3rd, Wilkes was 2nd)
1984 – 21.5 / 17.6 (2nd)
1985 – 22.0 / 18.3 (2nd)
1986 – 23.4 / 18.8 (3rd, Worthy was 2nd)
1987 – 17.5 / 23.9 (Magic 1st, Worthy 2nd at 19.4)
1988 – 14.6 / 19.6 (Magic was #3 scorer, but scoring was balanced, Byron Scott 21.7, Worthy 19.7, Magic 19.6, followed by Kareem, who was 41 years old)
1989 – 10.1 / 22.5 – obviously, Kareem was 42 years old here… top Laker scorers were Magic, Worthy, Scott and AC Green (AC avg 13.3 ppg)

It wasn’t until the 1986-87 season that Pat Riley changed the offense to Magic being the key guy instead of the 40 year old Kareem. But Jabbar was the unquestioned leader of the Lakers until that season.

Magic wasn’t the "leader" of the Lakers until he was 27 years old. Kareem was the leader of his teams from high school through college through his first 17 years in the NBA. It wasn’t until Kareem was 40 years old that Magic took over the leadership of the Lakers.

And Kareem even scored 32 points in the clinching game 6 of the finals against the Celtics…at age 40.

To give you an idea of just how good Kareem was, in 1976, he was the NBA’s MVP, even though the Lakers finished with a 40-42 record. How good would a guy have to be to win the MVP award while playing on a losing team? Not to
Finally someone pointing out that, about Kareem was the sidekick for Magic, interesting.

The idea that Kareem was never the leader of the Lakers during Magic’s career is laughable. You were definitely not around in the 80s (not that there’s anything wrong with that), or if you were, you weren’t following basketball. Perhaps if you watched some basketball instead of just Sportscenter highlights, you might learn something.
First of all, don’t get me wrong. I believe that Wilt was the better player than Kareem as well.

But Wilt can’t be the greatest Lakers’ of all time, why? He ONLY spent 5 years in the Lakers, read that again.

He won 1 NBA title, 1 finals MVP, no NBA MVP, no all NBA first team during his years with the Lakers.

However I do think that Wilt was the better player than Kareem overall in their career.

Sadly Wilt’s best years was with the Philadelphia Warriors/76ers not the Lakers.
To give you an idea of just how good Kareem was, in 1976, he was the NBA’s MVP, even though the Lakers finished with a 40-42 record. How good would a guy have to be to win the MVP award while playing on a losing team? Not to mention the fact that the writers HATED Kareem in those days.

Some people might point out that Kareem didn’t win a title with the Lakers until Magic got there. Factually true. But so what? Magic never won a title after Kareem retired either, so what are we talking about here?

Three of Kareem’s 6 MVP awards were won as a member of the Lakers. Magic also won 3 MVP awards in his career, all with the Lakers of course.

Magic was not that good of a defensive player… he never made 1st or 2nd team all defense, but that’s not why I’m saying that…. (Bird, for example, was 2nd team all defense 3x). Kareem was a dominant defender (10x all-defense). It’s not even close as to who the better defender was.
Kareem was also as good a passing center as has ever played the game.

Leadership also involves judgment and character. Magic had to retire at age 31 because he was sadly lacking in both areas. On the court, Magic was an amazing player. But with what he did off the court, he might as well have taken a gun into a night club and shot himself in the leg, for all the judgment he showed. And it’s not like we didn’t know anything about STDs. Magic just thought he was above anything happening to him.

Kareem is the greatest Laker of all time.


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