We were dating in a long distance relationship for 2+ years and engaged for 15 months…There wasn’t any infidelity in the relationship.Communication was great.It was the long distance and time of waiting that we could be with one another that brought the relationship to an end…
Ok well I recently got out of the army I met my wife there. I was in 5 yrs we both disliked the army. we got pregnant and a week and a half later i deployed for a year. She deployed also 4 months later. Well she then left before me. So she was away from our daughter for 5 months. I saw my daughter 1 month 3 weeks out of the first year she was born. i got home in august. —– Then everything was fine I thought, Let me first say this i love her. I love her so much My KIDS & MY WIFE mean more to me than life its self. We talked about having another child and i said i didn’t want another child until finacially we were able too. But she took as me saying i never wanted another child from her. And then she thought she was losing me, the hole time i was thinking we were deeply in love with each other never knew she thought she was losing me. Well we also talked about the next deployment and i didn’t want one of us togo. Because our oldest was going to be 2 when we left and i didn’t want both of us to leave her at the same time. Well we decided that she gets out for a pregnancy………WHAT??????? ———–Thats right after she got back from the deployment she stopped taking her birth control but told me she was taking it. So like I was saying she lied to me and got pregnant to keep from losing me. But I she still kept tellin me she took her birth control. So I believed her well she got out right around her 7 or 8 th month so she went straight to stay with her family so they could help her with the kids. I was deploying right before her delivery date and the doctor said she shouldn’t be traveling in her 8 th month so she left right away. Well this time i deployed for 15 months this time and i wasn’t there for her berth (beyond my control), but i got there that night and they were both soooo beautiful. I missed them so much i was there 2 weeks. I was dreding the deployment well I deployed right after i got back. When I returned I saw my youngest about 31/2 weeks of her life. Well we decided to move to where i was from because i had some land there we put a place on it and i got out of the army. We moved here well when i got home some old girl i new contacted me I havent seen this girl in 12 years but she and i started talking just friends well she started texting me some stuff and i didn’t stop it. But I never not once thought about cheating on my wife. Well I never delete my texts ever and she found them so she automaticly thought i had slept with her then when i told her i never did and never wanted to she said i cheated on her mentally. I apolligized and said that i knew i would have to earn her trust back. Well less then a month after that stuff happened. And after she said she would try and work it out she leaves with our kids(VERY FAR AWAY). And she never tried and now I found out she has someone back were she took the kids. I know she has been seeing this guy a few days after they got there. He tells her he loves her and she has said it to him on something like face book or myspace. I have seen it but I know we can work out our marriage. But she won’t talk to me about saving our marriage. ——— BUT I WANT TO KNOW CAN I GET PRIMARY COSTUDY IF IM IN THE MILITARY? and if i do deploy the kids would stay with there mother. —- PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICE ——
I dated a guy and distance got in the way
its just too hard to travel 2.5 hours each way when both people have busy lives.
but we stayed friends for 15 months since dating.
when i got a new bf 6 months ago my long distance friend said he finally realized he adored me and wanted to date again
this was frustrating and he started calling me all the time
it may have undermined and contributed to my new relationship ending after just 5 months
(i broke up with my bf 1 month ago. he seemed in shock and although he was no angel he really did care for me a lot and said the break up stunned him
he still calls me a couple times a week just to talk about nothing in particular)
anyway when i broke up with my bf i also found a new job transfer came thru.
to SAME city my guy friend is in !
we got excited and planned a big date
well i know of course he was seeing other girls while i had a bf.
anyway we had such a perfect date, our chemistry was instant and strong.
lots of pdas and then lots of kissing on his sofa at his house.
that was 5 days ago
now were apart again but talking like we always do.
just this week 3 long phone calls and 45 texts on facebook.
he knows im both busy with minor surgery and traveling wiht work until i move to his city july 4th
i know he will want to stay in touch every day possible like we did when we were ‘just’ friends.
im afraid this is bad.
im thinking to limit our conduct and not act like his buddy online.
just limit contact until i move there.
he treats me more like a romantic interest in person or on the phone but more like a buddy on emails/aim/fb chat.
(sometimes sends a :* but thats it
is this cruel or smart ?
well one BIG reason I m thinking this is th ebest tactic is that he HIMSELF stated that he doesnt know how to appreciate how much he loves someone and how much they mean until he feels like hes LOST them
when i got a boyfriend that was a wake up call
but we are in contact so much online (he always iniates) that it feels like we’re an old married couple or brother sister
i truly believe there needs to be a revived spark of mystery and distance so he can SEE that im this fun sexy cool woman who also is a good friend BUT even better gf.
He is legally separated from his wife of over 10 years. They together have children, but she left him and moved to the other side of the country while he was serving in Iraq.
I have known this guy for almost 20 years since we went to HS together. It was only until he was divorced, that we actually met in person again after all of that time.
His ex-wife is extremely jealous of me now that things aren’t working out with the man that she ran away with.
I have never met her, but she has this opinion that the only reason my boyfriend won’t return to her is because of me.
That is not the case, however, he feels extremely betrayed that he left him like she did and was cheating while he was fighting in Iraq.
She is constantly on his case with him that he must leave our relationship and enter back into theirs (which was apparently miserable), because they are still technically “married” and they have children.
By the way, she ran away with this guy 18 months ago, and my boyfriend was in Iraq for around 15 months. He isn’t sure when the affair happened,.
Even though she wants me out of his life, I do have compassion for her. I know how she must feel, but yet she hates me.
I love my boyfriend and would do anything for him. We have been together shortly after this thing happened between them two. I moved across state to “help” him cope after his loss.
He doesn’t want to get back with her and will never, yet, she is still tugging on him constantly.
Anyone have any ideas of what he should tell her… I don’t want to get involved “talking” to her, because it would just make matter worse.
I feel bad for my boyfriend (and even her too)… there are times though, that he doesn’t want to answer the phone calls from her… she is constantly begging to be rescued from the situation she put herself in and vents her problems to him.
She has basically hung herself (caused herself all of her problems) and wants him to cut the rope…
My step children are hideously selfish and don’t listen to a thing I tell them. They won’t even bathe! They’re 14(boy) and 11(girl). My husband has a passive parenting style. He hates to hear any fussing or fighting and likes to avoid confrontations. He knows that they treat me bad, but he says he doesn’t understand why he lets them do it. He says he just doesn’t know how to make them do the right thing. He’s tried punishment, rewards, and a combination of both. Nothing seems to work. I know that he loves me very much and it bothers him that he can’t figure out how to make the children behave and do as they’re told. He also loves his children, but they are tearing our marriage apart. Anyone have any ideas or have you ever been in this same situation??
A little more info:
We have a two year old daughter together. Mu husband just deployed to Iraq and will be gone 15 months. The mother rarely calls, lives out of state and is schizophrenic . She sees them maybe once every other year. My husband is a good man and a good father to my baby. He carries a lot of guilt about his divorce and the impact it had on his kids. I didn’t mean to make it sound like he was spinelss. I think his passiveness stems more from guilt than anything else.
We’ve been married for about 3 1/2 years.
I tried for the first two years to have some sort of relationship with the two of them. I’ve done things with them/for them, I’m the one who takes them shopping, I’m the one who buys them new clothes, I’m the one who makes their father take them to the library, the park, etc. After two years of doing for them and getting nothing (respect) in return, I stopped doing so much for them. They are just REALLY selfish children who were used to being the bosses and getting what they wanted. I’ve even suggested family counselling, but now that my husband is deployed, it’s too late for that.
Just a little nore in defense of myself: My husband is in the military and he’s not home much. The children are left in my care. I have provided them with structure and activities. It’s easy for a few to point the finger at me and say I’m the one being selfish, but if you any idea how many "talks" the kidsa and I have had about our relationship, you’d understand why, at this point, I’m pulling my hair out. I agree with some of the negative comments. You’re right, I shouldn’t let their behavior bother me, but I don’t know of any way to just "turn off" my emotions when they treat me so badly. Even their father ADMITS that they treat me badly. Again, I have suggested (on several occasions) that we seek family councelling. I work, their father is gone, and I’m taking care of all three children. Is it so much to ask, for them to just follow a few rules? I’ve compromised a lot. I stopped nagging them to bathe, brush teeth, do homework or clean up after themselves!
By the way, Skidoo, my screen name was a joke between my sister and myself. One I’ve had for years. No hidden meaning whatsoever. 
And for any of you who took offense to the term "demonic step children", come on! It was a phrase to show just how frustrated I am with them! I’ve done more for those two chilldren since I’ve known them than either their real mother or their father. I’ve taught them why they shouldn’t lie or steal, how to have compassion for others, how to take care of themselves, and a lot of other real life skills they need to become productive adults. The issues they have were going on a looooong time before I was ever in the picture. I tried to give them what they needed but they rejected me, so don’t point fingers at me for getting tired of trying to help them when they don’t want or appreciate my help. Sometimes, I think the only ones who really understand are the ones who have walked in my shoes. And some called ME judgemental?
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