how do i get my ex back
19 years old year long r/ship….we love eachother but i screwed up by not showing her that i cared and didnt show enough affection and generally just wasnt good at the whole r/hip thing based on previous experiences and just my issues
now he said she was almost willing to give it another try but it wasnt goig to be right away and it was if i could change
so how do i show i care more and show more affection put more effort in and make the first move
how do i get himr back faster
and do i text or just wait
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How did shakespear find his inspiration
did it come from personal experience i donr know
i think so
this story goes back half my life
its about love
loss
and happiness
joy
and life
every day we are given choices
my father has always said that "no decision is a decision and its always the wrong one"
he is right
19 years ago I was 16 it was summer and i was working at my first real job i was doing dishes. after a few weeks of being there i met her.
She was a tall brunet with thick long slightly curly hair. she was quick to smile and her eyes squinted at the corners when she did.
Built Like Marlin Monroe such amazing curves. her eyes i can never forget peircing brown sparkling with inner light
beautifull clear skin with a tinge of somthing exotic. I was horsing around with her and her best friend as she walked away i snapped a bar towel at her playfulley
it was the perfect snap right off her 18 year old but it was not my intention to hurt her in the slightest i was trying to be cute.
after the towel snapped she jolted ramrod straightand her eyes flashed fire then she quickly turned and walked away from me. I have thought about than moment more times than i can count
how it has reverberated through my life.
i thought her friend was going to dump hot coffee on me.
i quickly went after her to apologise i caught up to her and she had tears in her eyes,my gut churned and i was so sorry, those eyes burned into my heart that day.
She forgave me, and even concented to go out with me even though she was older by 2 years and went to a different high school which is a big thing in a small town.
so we dated kinda on the sly.
our second date
we ended up on a bluff overlooking the town at night.
we smoked some pot and were chatting away listining to music the timing was right
the chemistry was right
and we kissed, it was perfect.
for me it would be the kiss all others have been measured against, and found lacking
i didnt even have my licence yet, or a car she was very popular had lots of friends played basketball
I knew i was in for a tough sell with this girl, but i was hooked
then it came apart
her ex boyfriend came back into her life he was older was more exciting was a bad boy, and they had history.
so we were just friends then and worked together.
over the next few years we grew into great friends, we had common friends and hung out all the time,
in fact her best friend eventually married my best friend they have a beautifull family and are happy
i had girl friends, but she was still in my head.
she told me he had asked her to get married, she had agreed. i was happy for her, kinda.
but there was still chemistry between us and we always found ourselves drawn to each other
we always honered our promises to others but we had become best friends confidonts.
things started to go wrong for her when she was about 19
her relationship was devolving into somthing bad and dangerous he was becoming more erratic and hard drugs were being abused.
she was a mess emotionally, then her father got laid off from the paper mill ( thanks spotted owl)
he found another job but is was in vermont and they were moving away.
she stayed in their house and tried to make a home with him she payed the mortgage worked hard
and i was her only outlet
I fell madly in love with her
i knew she loved me but she couldent say it, she was so sad
we were spending more and more time together
and before long she told me she loved me too
everything changed then
things with him went from bad to worse
and she was torn she loved him too, he could be dangerouse and unpredictable though
the next few months we saw as much of each other as we could, I thought if i could love her enough she could get the strength to finally get him out of her life
and everyone be safe.
for a few months though we were magic
I held her in my arms, she loved me it was good
sounds silly and cliche, but it was the happiest time in my life
but after a time i realized somthing was wrong
with reflection i have come to realized that I had become connected to the past. I couldent understand that then
I could feel her pulling away emotionally and the rejection was tormenting
i thought if i held on tighter i could hold this thing together
she was for the first time as an adult now enjoying her freedome. and I was too much of a reminder of pain
I reacted with anger jealousy my heart was breaking this wasnt supposed to happen
we rerely spoke any more
i sank into depression drugs and self pity
all the things she hated
and i loved her anyway
we drifted apart i would see her from time to time but everythinh had changed she looked at me with contempt
then I saw her dating a friend of mine I was filled with rage at him, at her, at myself.
I felt such a fool
i felt so used
i was so hurt
i wanted to hurt her so bad, I wanted her to feel the pain i felt this betrayel
FOR THE REST OF THE STORY GO H
go here…http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll
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I came home from work and my wife of 19 years was gone. She didn’t take much except some clothes and a few things. She left a lengthy note which was dated a few weeks ago telling me that she’s in love with someone else and is pregnant with his child. She says she’s sorry but she hasn’t loved me for years and it’s all been a show until the girls grew up. She says she’s not coming back and I’ll get divorce papers in the mail. I called her work and her boss said she gave her notice a couple of weeks ago and she’s been gone for a week.
I feel like I’m going to throw up. Our twin 18 year old girls are away at college and don’t know she’s gone yet. I don’t know what to say to them.
I feel like just driving off a bridge. I feel like drinking until I pass out. I feel like emptying my bank account and spending it on hookers or just trying to pick up some girl at a bar and screw her. I just want to feel something good. I can barely feel anything except agony.
I did virtually nothing at work today but fight back tears and hope nobody came by my desk or talked to me.
I don’t know why this happened. I loved her to death. She was everything to me. We laughed and spent wonderful time together. We almost never fought, we talked, flirted, went out dancing just like we did 20 years ago and had a wonderful time… all the time. She always had a huge smile, ran to me when I came home, and did everything I thought a loving wife did.
How could I ever love again? I can’t tell the difference between someone who loves me and someone who doesn’t. Can one of you ladies in here explain to me how someone could masquerade as a loving wife for so many years and never give me a clue that she was unhappy? Why wouldn’t she just tell me she wasn’t happy and then maybe I could have fixed whatever was wrong.
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I came home from work and my wife of 19 years was gone. She didn’t take much except some clothes and a few things. She left a lengthy note which was dated a few weeks ago telling me that she’s in love with someone else and is pregnant with his child. She says she’s sorry but she hasn’t loved me for years and it’s all been a show until the girls grew up. She says she’s not coming back and I’ll get divorce papers in the mail. I called her work and her boss said she gave her notice a couple of weeks ago and she’s been gone for a week.
I feel like I’m going to throw up. Our twin 18 year old girls are away at college and don’t know she’s gone yet. I don’t know what to say to them.
I feel like just driving off a bridge. I feel like drinking until I pass out. I feel like emptying my bank account and spending it on hookers or just trying to pick up some girl at a bar and screw her. I just want to feel something good. I can barely feel anything except agony.
I did virtually nothing at work today but fight back tears and hope nobody came by my desk or talked to me.
I don’t know why this happened. I loved her to death. She was everything to me. We laughed and spent wonderful time together. We almost never fought, we talked, flirted, went out dancing just like we did 20 years ago and had a wonderful time… all the time. She always had a huge smile, ran to me when I came home, and did everything I thought a loving wife did.
How could I ever love again? I can’t tell the difference between someone who loves me and someone who doesn’t. Can one of you ladies in here explain to me how someone could masquerade as a loving wife for so many years and never give me a clue that she was unhappy? Why wouldn’t she just tell me she wasn’t happy and then maybe I could have fixed whatever was wrong.
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i made a question earlier about how my 2 year gf left me, when she moved to uni, and got with another boyfriend just 2 weeks later. i was so mad and felt so betrayed, i posted pics on facebook of her naked, that just made me feel worse,
she left me a month ago, she made no effort to contact me and is very clear she doesnt love me anymore.
how ever, everyday i still wake up and she is the first thing i think about, when i was with her, i really did stop thinking about other girls completely.
my whole life i only ever wanted one girl, just one a perfect girl, i really thought she was the one.
problem now is, i have 2 mates who never do anythink, no contacts, no way of meeting new people, im scared i will never find anyone special again,and worse is it posible to truly love again? does love ever die?
will i always be afraid to open my heart to some one again, will i always fear love. will i always live in fear of it happening again?
does it ever get easy?
how can love be so painful?
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