I have been divorced from him for about 6 years. We have 2 girls together. I was so angry with him for several years, and now I find myself having feelings for him again. I love my husband now very much.How is it possible to care for 2 men so much at the same time?? I just feel bad for feeling the way I do about my ex. Anyone else ever gone through this?
I was thinking about this today after a discussion with an ex about her sexual fantasies with me. Now as a whole, women are thought to be the more private and the less sexual ones in relationships….mostly because it’s true. However, women do have sex drives, and to me at least…it seems like women have more sexual fantasies than men do. Is it due to sexual repression? Repression of your fantasy due to societal norms or taboos?
For example, here are common sexual fantasies I hear from most women:
1: Rape sex-This varies from woman to woman, but it all involves them being submissive to a dominant male. Some women fight through the sex for more excitement, while others are completely submissive and just take it from a dominant male. For starters, I hope you women clearly indicate to your partner how "hard" you want your rape sex because it could be just a male dominated sexual experience or he might actually sneak up on you somewhere and start beating the hell out of you and almost "raping" you. I just thought I would throw that in for an FYI. What is it with women liking this "rape sex" though? Is it just because you feel and try to act as a "pure" woman all the time, yet you fantasy about being just slaughtered roughly by some guy or what’s the deal?
2: Group sex-I’m just going to mention 2 girls, 1 guy because I am homophobic and I would never get with another dude in this scenario, but obviously a lot of women fantasy about either of those situations. For women, what is it about being with another woman or man that you find fantisizing? And don’t tell me it’s "skanky" or "dirty", because I hear this one from a lot of down to earth girls that don’t do it, but WANT to do it…..as I’ll discuss later below.
3: Work/Public/Elevator sex-Pretty straight forward. Women fantasize about having sex in the confines of their workplace and enjoy doing the deed in an environment where it is very taboo. Similar situation with elevators although I think it’s rather just a kinky "I want to try that" maneuver. I’ve heard weird and kinky things about Public sex. Some people just want to do it in a condo with a big window so some people can see them, but I’ve heard a few women…including an ex…tell me that they would have loved it if I would have had sex with them in the middle of Central Park in NYC for everybody to see…because she WANTED them to see. But why?…is it an underlying female ego thing where you just let everybody know that "This is my man, not yours" type of deal or what’s the deal there?
These are the top 3 that I hear from females…I know there are more. Now for the meat of what I am getting at with all of this. Why don’t you women ever tell your partners about your kinky fantasies that YOU WANT to have done to you or you want to do to them? Do you feel as if you are too innocent or you may be frowned upon as a woman because of these "secrets"? I’m asking because in all 3 of those situations up there, I would do them all in a heartbeat as a guy. You need to understand that men like sex more than you. If you opened up and described these fantasies, then in more cases than none, the guy would enthusiastically give you a "HELL YEA!!!" back with your enthusiasm. I mean guys are different on some things….for example myself…. I would never do 2 guys, 1 girl and probably never have public sex in Central Park…..although I think a good woman could probably seduce me into doing even that haha. Sure, most guys fantasy is to have 2 women all to theirselves(I’m not as keen as others, but love it nonetheless), but it’s not like your female creativity isn’t stimulating as well. For example, if you were my GF and just straight up came out and told me you had a rape fantasy, I would be totally infatuated with it and love to carry that out. I mean c’mon….you are basically asking your partner to cut loose sexually and have rough sex with you….and you think he might turn that down or not like it?…..c’mon now….I think just about every guy on the planet would take up that offer in a heartbeat. That fantasy would become personally mine as well as yours and I would love to sneak up on you and just throw you against something and go as hard as possible no restrictions applying.
As far as the threesome deal, that’s most guys fantasy anyways….so I feel that needs no real explanation.
Work sex is no issue. If you told me about a work fantasy by having sex in a break room or under your desk, I’d be more than willing to give it a try as a guy. Same goes for elevator sex…that’s simple and easy. You tell me, we do it. Public scenarios are bit odd for me personally, but a lot of guys would love to complete some of those fantasies as well if that is your fantasy. Something like sex on a beach of people would be perfectly fine by me, so why are you holding back?
Don’t even begin to think of me as a perv for asking these questions. These are fantasies that I
Ex-grilfriend and I have been together for 4 yrs. Weve been through alot but always managed to maintain our relationship. The first 2 yrs. I had the upperhand broke her heart a couple times but came back to what was important to me. Aug. 06, she changed, was bored, unhappy and unaffectionate, not always but sometimes. We broke up in Feb. 07 but maintained friends, it was rough and filled w/ jealousy, she stayed alone, I messed w/ 2 girls, I told her she forgave me. In June we got back together a she was just like the old her for 2 wks. then she became cold. 2 wks. ago she told me she didnt see our relationship going anywhere so we had to end it. 3 days ago she went out on a date w/ a guy she was introduced to 2 mos. ago but was not interested in. So for the past 3 days she has been talking to him and seeing him constantly, she still me daily and says she cant take me just falling out of her life but she is unwilling to stop talking to him because they are "romantic friends" who are
are neither interested in arelationship. She hasnt seen anyone but me for 4 yrs. but still I was insecure and jealous, Im willing to give that up but I cry to her and she still wont take me back, She claims she will come see me tommorow, and make love to me one more time, she wants to be friends but I want to be back how we were can I do something to make her come back or is it too early to even be grieving like this?
When we see each other its usually fun and cuddly and sweet like yeasterday and we never get into arguments that arent fixed two hours later, but shes having so much fun with this guy and shes never had anyone there but me, does she deserve this free time and me waiting or do i deserve this grief?
Ex-grilfriend and I have been together for 4 yrs. Weve been through alot but always managed to maintain our relationship. The first 2 yrs. I had the upperhand broke her heart a couple times but came back to what was important to me. Aug. 06, she changed, was bored, unhappy and unaffectionate, not always but sometimes. We broke up in Feb. 07 but maintained friends, it was rough and filled w/ jealousy, she stayed alone, I messed w/ 2 girls, I told her she forgave me. In June we got back together a she was just like the old her for 2 wks. then she became cold. 2 wks. ago she told me she didnt see our relationship going anywhere so we had to end it. 3 days ago she went out on a date w/ a guy she was introduced to 2 mos. ago but was not interested in. So for the past 3 days she has been talking to him and seeing him constantly, she still me daily and says she cant take me just falling out of her life but she is unwilling to stop talking to him because they are "romantic friends" who are
are neither interested in arelationship. She hasnt seen anyone but me for 4 yrs. but still I was insecure and jealous, Im willing to give that up but I cry to her and she still wont take me back, She claims she will come see me tommorow, and make love to me one more time, she wants to be friends but I want to be back how we were can I do something to make her come back or is it too early to even be grieving like this?
When we see each other its usually fun and cuddly and sweet like yeasterday and we never get into arguments that arent fixed two hours later, but shes having so much fun with this guy and shes never had anyone there but me, does she deserve this free time and me waiting or do i deserve this grief?
She is depressed and thinks I cause her the depression. So, she says she doesn´t love me anymore and that she wants to separate. We´ve been together for 14 years. I am 42 and she is 34. We have 2 girls. When we make love, it is still very pleasant to us. I still love her and I wnt her sain and back. We are still together, but living in a psychological hell. I want to hear from you, specially if are psychologist or psychiatrist. Thanks for your time and help.
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