My ex-girlfriend and I had been in a committed relationship for the last 8 months, and we’ve known each other for about 3 years via social forums.
I was in a 14 year relationship that ended and we started dating about 9 months after that. I’m 33 and she’s 21.
Anyways, we had great affection for each other and it progressed pretty quickly, about 4 months in we were talking about marriage, kids, spending our Sundays looking through wedding magazines etc…
The thing is we’re great for about 3 weeks and then there’s a HUGE blow up and then it’s WW111.
The cycle begins, she breaks up and I spend three days in the doghouse with her punishing me by not seeing me, hanging up on me when the convo turns sour, withholding affection etc..
Know I love this person, and I don’t question that she loves me. What I can’t understand is how you can tell your bestfriends that you think you’ve found the person that you’re going to spend your life with when it’s "good" and then litterally like a switch turn it off when things are bad? WTF??
I still talk to my ex of 14 years, but she’s now married, planning to have kids the whole nine yards, and I have no interest in her romantically. We loved each other for a long time, and I’ll always love her as a person, but want nothing to do with a relationship with her. My current ex, has always pulled the "I don’t feel secure in our relationship" card. Which I’ve tried come hell or high water to prove to her that my intentions are nothing but to be with her only. She’s never gotten over it but when I ask what don’t you feel secure about she says I don’t know.
The last little while I’ve noticed that she’s become very controlling, and dismissive and also extremely withholding. I turn a blind eye and go along and then the straw that broke the camel’s back is I went for coffee with a friend, whom she knows. This person is of no interest to me romantically whatsoever but trully a companion. She called right before our coffee date. (We hadn’t spoken all day) and she says what are you doing? I tell her that I’m meeting said friend for coffee she says "Have fun with that" and hangs up.
Then the manipulation starts with I wanted to see if you wanted to hang but since you’re busy I’ll go and hang with my cousin. Which is complete hogwash because if she wanted to see me she would have said that instead of hanging up.
Anyways, I come to the conclusion that it’s one thing that she feels insecure about my ex, and I nurtured it, but i’m beginning to see that it’s an issue with EVERYONE!
I tried to call her back she didn’t answer and I sent her a BBM saying that I wanted to ask her something. At this point I had made up my mind that I am responsible for the way she’s treated me but that I couldn’t do it anymore. She says she’s busy and what is it blah blah. I say I can’t be with you like this. She says Like what? Then end it then. I answer back saying that I’m sorry for wasting your time, and I hope you find what your looking for. The reply I get is okay, see ya. and she deletes me from BBM. Then a couple hours later, I go on FB to check emails and stuff, she’s still on my page at this point. I scroll through a couple emails and a friend had a really cool saying that totally rang true about don’t fight with an idiot because they will win with experience and I copy and paste it as my headline. Not even 15 minutes later she deletes me. 2.5 hours after our break up but 15 minutes after the headline change. Haven’t heard from her since and its been two days.
I really love her, and I guess I’m hoping people can change and rise to the occasion. I’m not holding on the chance that it’ll work out but I can’t help but wonder why is it so easy for her to drop everything like we didn’t exist? What do you all think
Thanks for all the great reply’s. Just an FYI, I’m not a dude lol but the perspective from both sides is pretty cool. Thanks for all the great inspiration. Keep posting, you guys are all making it better. 
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