They live in a single parent household. The 18yr old dislikes both his father and brother. It seems that for years it is his belief that the father prefers the 13 yr old and only listens to him. The 13 yr old would often bring accusations against the 18yr and the father would punish him. Growing up his father was a bit aggressive and assertive. Now the father has realized his mistake, has sought counselling, has apologised and is trying to mend the relationship between them, alongside the brother. The 13yr old likes the 18 yr old but he is not giving him the time of day. He says that he will NEVER forgive them and when he leaves home, he has nothing to do with both of them.
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My Sister-in-law called off the wedding 3 wks before the date. My whole family was supposed to be in the wedding. We had a lot of time, emotion & money invested in it. Anyway, I purchased a Mixer for 5 for her shower. She called off the wedding a week after the shower. THREE months later I asked for the gift back since my receipt was expiring. Her parents dropped off the gift. Over the next few parties, she gave my entire family the cold shoulder! I finally sent her an email to ask her if everything was ok? She said that I was being very insensitive to her situation & selfish for asking for the gift. She took a dig at my family & also said that I spread rumors about why the wedding was called off. I called her to see if we could straighten it all out & she did not respond. Finally sent her another email saying that I was sorry for asking for the gift back & that I was hurt by her accusations & comments about my family. Now she isn’t talking to us? Was I wrong?
Also, wanted to add that its 8 months after she called it off and she is dating someone new and STILL hasn’t returned the shower gifts to everyone. Besides my 5 mixer, I also pitched in 0 for a gift from the bridal party. Also what about our engagement party gifts as well??? Still haven’t been reimbursed for the 0 bridesmaid dress, my son’s tux (which I had to buy since he was so small) and my hub’s tux deposit. Besides the money, I don’t understand why she is ignoring my children (ages 5 & 2- one of which is her godson). She hasn’t come for his bday and now she isn’t coming for xmas as well. Besides wanting to know if I was in the wrong? What should I do to make this all go away?? I have already apologized for asking for the gift back… what more can I do??? I also asked her mother (my in-law) to talk to her and try to smooth it out – explain that its important for the kids. Still nothing.
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Me… this is a tough one to write because of two conflicting parts of me. I am over critical of myself, and I am also to prideful to admit when something really is wrong and I need help dealing with something. Two completely different mindsets colliding inside of my head, making things so hard to comprehend and explain to myself. I am a very compassionate person. I love to let someone I care about know exactly how much I love them numerous times per day. I am a person who needs to be told that they are cared about. I need that affirmation of love in my life in return from those that I love. I thrive on recognition… letting me know that I am appreciated in the things I do and the sacrifices I make on a daily basis. I am a romantic… I like the sweet nothings that can be given throughout the day… little notes in my work bag saying I love you, terms of endearment that are said any random time, in any random place. Quality time spent alone just talking about nothing, or holding one another under a blanket watching TV or a movie. That is who I am. That is who I have always been. I am by no means perfect. I have my share of faults as well. I get jealous very easily. I always assume the worst possible scenario with a situation. I over react to what should be a dead issue. I am too persistent in getting answers. I thought my wife was cheating on me because she was spending more time with another man at his house than she was with me, when all she was doing was playing video games and laundry. All that arises because she is so emotionally separated from me. All my jealousy and accusations come from that one thing that I hate about her. I want to have a wife to talk to. I want to have a wife that will talk to me about problems. Someone who feels so emotionally attached to me that she is comfortable talking to me about everything, whether she is in the mood or not. I do not believe that there is a proper mood for talking about a marriage. I am overprotective. I have found something that I hold more dear to me than life itself, and I do not want to lose it to anything or anyone. When she goes out to this guys house to spend time with him and hang out, and I am neither invited or thought of, I begin to do anything I can to protect what I have fought so hard for so long to retain… a relationship with the one person I love. My first step seems to always be the wrong one. I accuse her of fucking around on me with him. This obviously pisses her off and drives her further away from me emotionally. That is just the first thing that I think of. I just do not understand why I could not even ever be invited over with her to his house. See… here I go again and I am just typing things out here. I have asked her directly, and I pray that she was truthful, because I gave her my trust and believed her when she told me that she has never done anything with this man. I just have to figure out how to get the remaining thought out of my head forever so I do not accuse her again. I remember all too well the pain I felt when I was cheated on one time before. The pain was unbearable, and I contemplated many things that I am glad I never acted upon back then. I was naïve and stupid back then. I could not bear the pain to find out that Trina has cheated on me. I know also that I can not accuse her again, because if I keep thinking that she is doing something, then why not go ahead and do what I am accusing her of. I am creating my own demise here. I am digging my own grave… I have to figure out how to put the dirt back into that hole and seal it off for good. I need her assistance in doing this though. I need that reassurance from her that she truly feels that I am the one man for her, and that she would never do that to me. I need that affirmation and those terms of endearment to help me get over my childish behavior. Problem is that if I ask for it, she will assume that I am again accusing her, when I am not. I have to figure out the exact and perfect way to talk to her. When I have tried to just come straight out and talk, she gets very defensive and begins to assume that I am accusing her again, when I truly am not. I don’t know what to say, or how to say it. I don’t know what to do to try to get her to fall back in love with me. I am willing to do anything at this point. If she asked me to take my own life for her, I would gladly do it… I am just so lost and confused right now without her with me anymore.
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I split with my ex husband last July. We have a two year old together. My two year old tells me that her Nana hits her (she’s recently started picking up a hitting habit, like swinging)… soon after, she came home with a mark on her eye. I ask her where this mark came from and she says that her "Nana" hit her. I call her father, and ask her what the hell happened, and he says that our daughter fell… I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him… he stalked me, followed me, recorded my conversations, and took photographs of me and my friends after he and I split up. He’s crazy. He doesn’t work a legitimate job, he works under the table. Pays absolutely no child support…. I have done the "responsible" thing by not stopping him from seeing her. Tonight when dropping her off, I said "Do you allow your Mother to discipline our daughter" He stuttered and said "Yes, she puts her in time out…" I said "well she’s making accusations that her Nana is hitting her, so if she is hitting her and you know about it… you need to tell her if it happens again, I will guarantee that she will never lay eyes in our daughter again… and neither will you." He shoots back with "Well I’ve been meaning to ask you… does your boyfriend (my fiance) change our daughter’s diaper?", I said "When it’s necessary"… she said "Oh because she claims he’s touched her".. now I know for a fact this is absolutely bullshit. My daughter has been to the pediatrician on THREE separate occasions prior to my fiance and I getting together for yeast or bacteria infections, I had the Pediatrician check her out for sexual assault because one time she is ridiculously red, and complaining that her bottom hurt. The Ped said no trauma to the area, no sexual assault of any kind. My daughters father KNOWS I’ve taken her to get checked by the Pediatrician and it infuriated him. This is some sort of backlash from the drama he’s created and I’m trying to deal with. I’m upset by this bogus accusation. He only said that because I warned him about his mom. I acted as if it didn’t effect me, but it’s really bothering my fiance. My ex makes "random shots" at him for no apparent reason when my fiance has been nothing but cordial to him, and my fiance absolutely loves and adores my daughter…
What do I do to fix this problem? We already have a pending child support and custody hearing… I have no attorney and can’t afford one in this economy with him paying NO child support. He has an attorney, and works under the table. Please help!
Thanks for all of the information. We do have a separation agreement, and a custody agreement (I’m in the process of getting it adjusted through court). This is the ONLY reason I’ve allowed my daughter to go- I don’t want to be held in contempt.
For those of you bashing my character, not that I need to explain myself to you but I’m an adult. I work for the Federal Government and I was asking your opinion on how to fix this. I am WELL aware that he said/she said does not play out in court. My question was simply how do I get my daughter’s father to stop playing the cat/mouse game, how to be a good father, support his daughter and rather than leaving her with his parents to go out and party- SPEND TIME WITH HER. Do not bash my character, you don’t know me. I work my ass off to make sure she is being brought up in a positive home. I don’t need your negativity. For those experienced, I need your advice. For those not experiences, get a damn life and go be bored somewhere else..
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I have been married for just over 9 years. No kids. My wife recently found out about my four month affair with another married woman. It was mainly texts and about 6 face to face encounters. We only had sex once. But that was once too many, I admit. I love my wife with all my heart and don’t even think of the woman who I had the affair with. My wife says she wants a divorce and is tired of my accusations and criticizing her of having relationships with her guy friends. She says she’s been unhappy the last 2 years. Now this. I have apologized to her, the one I had the affair with, and the the husband of the one I had the affair with. I believe I have done the first step in realizing that I want to save my marriage. Second I have apologized and continuously do on somewhat of a continuous basis as our conversations have been just text since I’m away from home for work, overseas, for another 2 weeks. She says I would do it again if we stayed together but I assured her, that I would not. She has told me it’s over and to quit communication w/ her and to leave her alone. Not sure if she’s talked to an attorney yet or not.I love her with all my heart and don’t know what else to do or say. I don’t want to buy her anything fancy as she’ll think I’m trying to buy her back. I’ve come to a fork in the road and don’t know what direction to go to from here. I don’t know if I should give her time to be alone the next 2 weeks or so, or continue communication via texts but it has ended in "leave me alone" after every short conversation in the last week. I need direction of what "I" should and need to do in your response. Thanks for your time and advice.
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