Every time you hear about a dumpster baby, some law enforcement officer says "she SHOULD HAVE left the baby with the fire department or at the police station". Next news story I read, some lady did that and they arrested her at the police station.

Isn’t arresting a woman who does this kind of counterproductive? I mean, now some lady read the second story, and for damn certain she’s going to the dumpster instead.

Are there any legal ways to drop off a baby without paying ridiculous fees in adoption and without getting arrested? What gives?


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I know I shouldn’t rely on this forum as the exact answers to legal questions, and I’m not, but just had a few quick questions as this is a rather new event that has happened to me (last week).
Short story – got a mediation meeting request for a child custody issue from my ex. Haven’t seen her in 3+ years. She was pregnant, and put the child up for adoption (to her sister and her husband because they couldn’t have kids). She said she was going to put it up for adoption, but I have not seen anything, or heard from her that she did, so I can only go by what she told me, told her I didn’t know how she could put the child up for adoption without BOTH parents consent. I tried conversing with her about me paying child support after a blood test was done to prove the child was mine, and she went off the deep end, and started using the adoption card. I have no problems, nor have I ever had child support issues, but AFTER a blood test was done to prove I was the father, she was totally abusive to me verbally after I wanted that done, but here are a few ??’s I have.

A – How can one parent put up a child for adoption without BOTH parents consent? The only way I can see this happening (if it did) is she put “father unknown” on birth certificate. She did not want me to have anything to do with the child as I was requesting a blood test be done before I would submit to paying child support. She refused my trying to reason with her, as she said I was a horrible father. I’ve been a single parent to my daughter for 11+ years now, but she said I was a terrible father, and she would not authorize me to see the child, but she wanted me to pay child support without a blood test

B – Also, on the website, I noticed the lawyer she went to at the beginning of this mediation process has the same first name of one of the lawyers she almost got married to. They dated, lived together, and almost got married (This was all from her mouth). He has the same first name of the lawyer she always told me about, can’t say it’s the same guy on the website, but it seems too coincidental to me, but my question is, can an “ex” represent her as her lawyer? Isn’t that some kind of conflict of interest. Again, only a mediation appointment, but if it goes to court, if it’s the same guy she lived with, is that legal for him to represent her?

C – I know there’s tons of people out there that will give out “free legal advice”, but if I wanted a lawyer (if it goes that far), and I can’t afford one, and she has “ex’s” that are lawyers that can legally represent her, am I allowed to get a public defendant to represent me for free?

D – if the adoption back then was legal, and legit. Am I by law obligated to pay for back child support, even after the legal adoption date, and if a blood test proves that the child is mine?



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And just about everyone I know has kids or is pregnant. I have moments when I could just melt into tears (like buying babyshower gifts) And I find spending time with my pregnant friends or family is just torture.

Any tips?
I can’t afford adoption.
Glad to know so many people have ,000 laying around to adopt kids. I don’t – that’s why I can’t afford to adopt.



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I’v posted a few questions about my husband and I being unable to carry a pregnancy (3 miscarriages, 1 stillbirth in 2 years) and my DR wants me to give up because it is playing havoc on my hormones in my body and she’s concerned about my mental health.

I want to give up too. Adoption is still an option and we are signed up for it and on the waiting list. We still do need to raise a few thousand dollars before we can go onto the next step though, but I’m going to be 40 soon and thinking of shutting this whole thing down.

Many people are saying that in order to save my marriage I should do ANYTHING to get a child, whether its surrogacy, in vitro, (woudlnt work, I can’t carry a pregnancy) or asking a family member to have one for me.

I’m not sure how correct this is…if my marriage is going to fail if we don’t have children, then is it really fair to put the whole success of the marriage on to a poor innocent child?

What do you think?


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I went to jail for contempt of court for child support for 45 days back in March, we lost our baby in February, and things have been sour ever since I had to go to jail. She tells me that she can’t get over that and she wonders everyday if the police are going to come knocking at the door for me again.

What makes things worse is she is cold as ice towards me, I try and try to show love towards her and she doesn’t even care; she says she loves me, and is in love with me still but doesn’t know why and why she should stay. Last night I broke down finally and begged her to just be close to me she didn’t even care she turned over and went to sleep I sat there sobbing uncontrollably for about 4 hours and she didn’t even care. She is the most important thing in the world to me and I love her with all my heart and soul, what can I do to rekindle that love we had and make things work; I don’t want to lose her and I have no one else to turn to. Any advice I would appreciate it
She said that my job as a bounty hunter is all I have and have ever had; she said all I have is what I am chasing after.. But she is the one I want and she said that I spend too much time on the computer and the cell phone for work, what can I do
As for me not paying child support it is a long story and not my fault, I was in Argentina when my ex wife filed for adoption of my 2 boys to her new husband, they posted service in the paper and I was never able to appeal it or fight it; when I called the family court they said my child support obligation was through; the reason I went to jail for 45 days is for not paying arrearages that built up because she was on assistance from the state and I have to pay all that back.

It has nothign to do with treating my kids bad, I wanted to see them and when I came back from my assignment they were adopted right out from under me.

As for me changing careers, I have been doing this all my adult life (bounty hunting) and I make exceptionally good money doing it and I am well known internationally as one of the best there are, she knew this when we got together and it comes with the package. She just wants me to give her what she isn’t giving me and I don’t think it is fair


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