My boyfriend has suffered some severe emotional abuse from me, at first things were great but then after about a year of us being together I started having extreme mental health and emotional issues like rage and depression and I’m so messed up on the inside, and because of me my guy has be drug down low. (I’m not making an excuse, I’m just explaining how I am). There have been some messed up things that have happened in the past. Things aren’t even half as bad right now as they were like a year ago, and I know he’s an adult and he chose to stay but I but now he is so messed up because of me and I just never owned up to getting myself to change until these past couple of months. I don’t deserve him, I hurt him so much. I just want to know if it’s possible to save a relationship after so much damage, because we both love eachother very much, he’s so messed up about it beacuse he wants to be with me but not how it is while I’m in this messed up state hurting him all the time
We aren’t together right now, we have been not really together for a while now but it’s been a back and forth kind of thing and because both of us now are emotionally unstable it seems there’s always some kind of a fight, whether because of my insecurity. We know we shouldn’t be together now and we aren’t but is it possible to even save after having experienced such things.
the time during this has happened he stayed with me because it wasn’t like me because it was like I was I was someone else , I think I possibly have a disorder like borderline disorder but i’m not sure, I need to go to a doctor. I’m hopeful maybe because it was like I was some other person and not being malicious on purpose or something maybe we have hope to move on if we both go seperate ways and reconnect after healing? :’(
I’m sorry some of my writing is gibberish, I’m crying right now.
Dina K, did you not read what I wrote? I said we are not and have not been together in a typical relationship, and have not been for a while, and I wanted to know if it was possible to eventually save it AFTER the fact of us both healing. And other things you have said show me you haven’t truly read what I wrote. You really ought to read things before you respond.
*oops I meant, we have been together yes, but not together in a typical way in a while
My nephews 20 year old father committed suicide just 5 hours ago. He felt so alone and hopeless that he hung himself in his aunts basement. Now i didn’t hate him but because of some words we had had between us i had said and done some mean things to him since than, such as making him sit outside to visit his son because i was angry with him and didn’t want him in my house, or making him feel unwelcome when i did let him stay with me because he had no place else to stay. But i did still care about him i was just angry and this was my petty way of showing it i guess.This was awhile back and me and him haven’t even spoken since last christmas where we were very civil to each other because i was over being angry by than. However now the guilt is overriding me i have cried so much my face is raw because he has had such a hard life he really did as a child he was abused, molested, bounced through foster home to foster home. And as an adult he has struggled with drugs, trouble, and mental illness, i just keep seeing him and imagining how alone he must have felt, and i feel i am one of the reasons he felt so unwanted and unloved in this world that he didn’t want to live in it anymore. I know that isn’t realistic with all the other stuff he has had happen to him but i just want to take it all back and tell him how sorry i am and that he is cared about and its too late and its killing me.He was only 20 years old and he felt so unwanted and hopeless that he endured the suffering of hanging for 45 minutes before he was found, i cant get that image out of my head it will haunt me forever. How do i at least let go of enough of the guilt that i can move on enough to cope? I am a single mom of four kids and i have really not been all that much good to them since i heard the news cuz i cant stop crying for more than 5 minutes at a time. I think i have post partum on top of this and i’m just a real mess right now as you can probably tell. I wish i could just go back 5 hours and call him and tell him he’s not alone, i know what it feels like to feel all alone and i wish i hadn’t let him feel that way
Jessi thank you we did try so much to help him when he first entered our family but it seemed like he always fell back down. I guess he had just been damaged too much by the time he got to us. There were some pretty bad things done that led me to act the way i did to him but now that he’s gone it just feels insignificant and petty and although i know the few things i did that happened almost 2 years ago were probably the last thing on his mind as i said im a single mom of 4 so i know what its like to feel so alone and hopeless and i just wish i hadn’t done anything to make him feel that way if i did. i wish i could apologize and tell him he was still loved and cared for regardless of what he had done wrong. It probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome with everything he has been through but it would have eased my soul a little. The guilt is a big burden an i will never let my babies go to bed without telling them how much i love ever again. thank you for your kind words and prayers
Josh wherever you are i hope you are no longer hurting and are finally at peace like you could never be here on earth. Forgive me if i ever did or said anything to make you feel unloved or unwanted because you were loved and wanted and you will be missed more than you would have believed. I wish someone would have helped you when you were little before you had to go through what you did than maybe things would have been different and my nephew would still have his daddy. I miss you i hope your suffering has ended finally, i’m so sorry we couldn’t give you whatever it was you needed
But now I seem to of gotten over it. But he’s kind of distant and doesn’t come around. But today out of nowhere I decided to just go over there. And he was very excited to see me, so excited. We didn’t even talk just got right to it. But now what? I just said thanks and left. But how do I get my best friend my lover, my man back????????????????
I plan to act on all the answers but in regards to answer four, how do i communicate with him??? I have tried to talk to him like an adult. But when something he didn’t want to deal with came up he would just change the subject or get mad blow up and that would be the end of it.
About a month in a half ago I was in the process of moving to a new place. During the moving process my old roommate made a very inappropriate statement to me that my boyfriend took as an attack on our relationship.
My roommate is the type of person you cannnot argue with without there being a huge blow up. I felt it best at the time to just keep my mouth shut and deal with it later since I was under a lot of pressure with moving.
When I noticed my boyfriend upset I tried to talk with him and was inturrupted by my roommate which resulted in a huge verbal arguement with my boyfriend and roommate.
He broke up with me that day because he felt that I didn’t value our relationship enough to stick up for it over what my roommate said. I tried to explain where I was coming from and why I did what I did when I did it. With many apoligies and trying to get him to understand he had already made up his mind that the relationship was over without trying to work it out.
He said that as long as my roommate was in my life he wanted nothing to do with me, and would see about getting back together. But said we could still be friends.? I don’t talk to my roommate anymore and since the breakup I was accused of trying to make him jeleous to trying to get him thrown in jail to dumping things in front of his house.
Now things are calm between us we laugh joke and are the way we were before becoming official. We both board horses at the same ranch. so when we see each other its not akward. Should I try to get him back? Should I wait for him to make the move? Or should I just move on and find someone better?
I am 24 and he is 54.
I mean i would think he would act more like an adult rather then just running from the situation and try to deal with it. And please do not attack the huge age difference because I don’t belive love has a number.
I don;t even know if he will come around but I have called him out on being jeolous when it comes to me talking to or mentioning other guys since the breakup. does this mean he wants me back or what?
this is a letter she last sent him after i called her to see what her intentions were with my husband friends or wanting him back ect.. anyhow she says I am out of line when she is the one that contacted my husband threw facebook I was being nice until she got upset when I told her that he deleted her numbers and his facebook account she called me a ghetto bitch and went off on me so I got mean right back she hung up on me and i never called her again but she wrote him this
Hey.
I know you wrote something on my wall on face book before you tore your account down but once you take your account off, the messages erase.
So I’m not quite sure what transpired but I do know that your wife called my cell phone the other day cursing at me. She demanded I leave you alone and never contact you again. She said she made you take your account down off face book and made you erase my numbers off your phone.
I just want to let you know that I understand. I am unsure what your feelings are of this situation but since you complied with her demands, I can only assume how you feel. Again, I understand. Your marriage is much more important than any friendships you aquire.
I do request that you have your wife leave me alone. Her calling me with all that ghetto talk is not appropriate. I asked her to talk like the adult she is but she just kept on with the barbaric language. T told her that it sounded like a conversation she should be having with you, not me. I, of course, told her to leave me alone.
And just to leave you with a final thought: James, you are a beautiful person. You always have been. It was nice to speak with you again and to hear of everything you have done with your life. I hope you are happy or find happiness in your life. I need not speak of the possesive nature of your marriage, I’m sure you are dealing with it the way you know how. I just hope she learns to treat you like her partner in life and not like a possesion she can keep hidden from eveyone. You have so much greatness to share with people, I hope you do. I am always here if you need a friend. I have no hard feelings from what occured. She turned everthing around and made me out to be the bad guy whe she is the one who was intruding on our marriage my husband chose not to contact her back after this letter my question is what were her intention with my husband was she trying to get him back or what they were talking for a month and a half on his cell and I didnt even know until we had a 300 dollar cell phone bill hour long talk s and all when I wasnt around which scares me he keeps telling they were just getting caught up but does it really take that long and he did stop talking to her for me but I am having a hard time trusting him what should I think
she lives in MT and were in TX thank god
she said I was being ghetto and using barbaric language she was doing it too maybe I shouldn’t have contacted her but if she would have been nice to me I would have said they could keep talking as long as it was in secret i can be reasonable but not if her intentions are bad
sry wasn’t in secret lol cant type tonight I also did discuss everything with my husband first but hes not a real good communicator need I mention we was injured in Iraq 3 years ago and I have been there threw everything with this man I think I deserve resprect
