this is a letter she last sent him after i called her to see what her intentions were with my husband friends or wanting him back ect.. anyhow she says I am out of line when she is the one that contacted my husband threw facebook I was being nice until she got upset when I told her that he deleted her numbers and his facebook account she called me a ghetto bitch and went off on me so I got mean right back she hung up on me and i never called her again but she wrote him this
Hey.

I know you wrote something on my wall on face book before you tore your account down but once you take your account off, the messages erase.

So I’m not quite sure what transpired but I do know that your wife called my cell phone the other day cursing at me. She demanded I leave you alone and never contact you again. She said she made you take your account down off face book and made you erase my numbers off your phone.

I just want to let you know that I understand. I am unsure what your feelings are of this situation but since you complied with her demands, I can only assume how you feel. Again, I understand. Your marriage is much more important than any friendships you aquire.

I do request that you have your wife leave me alone. Her calling me with all that ghetto talk is not appropriate. I asked her to talk like the adult she is but she just kept on with the barbaric language. T told her that it sounded like a conversation she should be having with you, not me. I, of course, told her to leave me alone.

And just to leave you with a final thought: James, you are a beautiful person. You always have been. It was nice to speak with you again and to hear of everything you have done with your life. I hope you are happy or find happiness in your life. I need not speak of the possesive nature of your marriage, I’m sure you are dealing with it the way you know how. I just hope she learns to treat you like her partner in life and not like a possesion she can keep hidden from eveyone. You have so much greatness to share with people, I hope you do. I am always here if you need a friend. I have no hard feelings from what occured. She turned everthing around and made me out to be the bad guy whe she is the one who was intruding on our marriage my husband chose not to contact her back after this letter my question is what were her intention with my husband was she trying to get him back or what they were talking for a month and a half on his cell and I didnt even know until we had a 300 dollar cell phone bill hour long talk s and all when I wasnt around which scares me he keeps telling they were just getting caught up but does it really take that long and he did stop talking to her for me but I am having a hard time trusting him what should I think
she lives in MT and were in TX thank god
she said I was being ghetto and using barbaric language she was doing it too maybe I shouldn’t have contacted her but if she would have been nice to me I would have said they could keep talking as long as it was in secret i can be reasonable but not if her intentions are bad
sry wasn’t in secret lol cant type tonight I also did discuss everything with my husband first but hes not a real good communicator need I mention we was injured in Iraq 3 years ago and I have been there threw everything with this man I think I deserve resprect

Technorati Tags: adult, bitch, cell phone, Ex Girl, face book, feelings, final thought, friendships, ghetto, girl friend, happiness, marriage, possesion, thought james

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. Since we started dating his mother always warned him that I’d "trap" him into staying with me. We now have a 15 month old daughter together and his mother totally denies her grandchild. She wants me to get a paternity test because we are not married so she’s just so sure that my daughter is in no way related to her son, even though she looks like all of her children. My daughter never got a Christmas or birthday present from her. Also, his mother treats him like he’s 14. He is 26! For example, he is "not allowed" to have a cell phone. Seriously? So, I’ve agreed to get this test done because nothing would make me more satisfied than to shove the results in her face. She told my mom that she should have dragged me by my hair to "take care of" my pregnancy instead of letting me trap her son. What? I’m 24 years old. I’ve been with her son for 5 years. I love him and he loves me. How do I tell this crazed woman off without making her loathe me even more? I need to tell her that I’m an adult and I insist on her treating me that way. I’d also like to tell her to cut the cord already. Her son now has a family of his own, she can’t be breathing down his back forever. Right?
Um.. I’m sorry but it’s 2009. Not 1950. Having a child out of wedlock isn’t really socially unacceptable anymore. I mean sure, for some religious views it is, and that’s fine. I promise you I wont burn in Hell though because I had a child with someone I love. I did not just "spread my legs". That being said, my boyfriend’s father just got up and left one day, and got remarried without telling ANYONE. Including his children. So I feel that his mom has some abandonment issues and that’s why she’s holding onto her kids for dear life. I dont want to yell at her and make her feel bad, I just want her to know I dont appreciate the way she treats me. My boyfriend is only just realizing that she’s irrational and he’s about to burst himself. If she starts to say bad things about me to my face I have no right to tell her to back off?

Technorati Tags: 24 years, abandonment issues, adult, burn in hell, cell phone, child out of wedlock, christmas, Dating, dear life, legs, loathe, mom, paternity test, pregnancy, quot, religious views

Most common questions:

Does he/she like me?

The simplest way to find out is to get communicative enough with the person so you can ask, "I like you, do you like me?" or "Do you want to go out sometime?" Don’t waste your time trying to read signs. You can waste the entirety of your teen or adult years because of fear of rejection. Everyone, Prince William and Angelina Jolie included, I guarantee you, have been rejected before. It is part of life, you will experience it too. But fear of rejection will make you miss all the joys of love, affection, lust, and sex. Overcome fear and find out!

Or – if he/she has shown no signs of interest, just move on now.

Should I leave him/her?
Most likely, if you have to ask, yes. Talk to the person, give it a schoolboy try to fix it, but if it won’t, and you two can’t be open to each other, then end it. Don’t drag things out.

This answers about 90% of questions in this section. I hope it is not too harsh, a lot of it is "move on." But moving on is key, remember how great you are, and anyone who treats you like that is missing out. Confidence! Cheers

We went out but he hasn’t called me in….what is happening?

Possibilities:
1. He is a player. He has other girls on his roster and doesn’t like you as much as you want him to.
2. He didn’t like you very much in the first place. Or something happened which made him like you less.
3. He met someone else/got together with an ex-girlfriend.
4. He died/is in the hospital/lost your phone number/is in a place with no phones. Unlikely, but possible.
5. He is actually that shy.
6. You slept with him too quickly. Unfortunate but real double standard.
BUT, there is only one way to find out. Call him. Don’t be afraid to seem needy or desperate. It is time for female kind as a whole to stop running through things over and over in their head and man up, and ask. If you can’t reach him for three days, he is a coward, but something happened. You move on. Don’t worry about it. You are hot stuff and he is missing out, not you. If he answers, you will get an answer, even if it is implicit.

My friends say I’m nice, funny, attractive, and intelligent, but I can’t find a boyfriend/girlfriend. What am I doing wrong?

The most likely is that you don’t socialize enough. Get out there. Play the field. Stop expecting your romances to start in a certain way or a certain place or with a certain type of person. Open up to possibilities.

Everyone likes hard to get. Not as in hard to get to go out with me, if you want to go out with someone, go. I mean in the sense that you maintain some mystery about yourself. Try playing games a little. Don’t be emotionally or physically slutty.

Have good manners, be the best person you can be, groom yourself, and go out expecting to meet someone. Don’t be shy. I go back to the "everyone gets rejected" mantra.

We’re close friends, but I am starting to like him/her. What should I do?
Make it known. If you are close, if he or she isn’t interested, this will be another hump you can get over in the friendship. If he/she is, then you have what you want!

I can’t get over him/her…what should I do?
Yes, you can. You need to go out with other people, have a wide selection so your focus isn’t so strong. Remove physical reminders of him/her, such as clothes, gifts, etc. Really know IT IS OVER. Don’t think it is over but…maybe? No. It’s over. Move on. You are better than that. There is no need to subject yourself to the pain of unrequited love.

What does a girl look for in a guy? What does a guy look for in a girl?
Everyone has their own proclivities as far as what they like in the opposite sex. For instance, I like dating men who don’t talk much, and when they do, they have something to say. That’s just me.
Overall, for girls: Attractive, nice, easygoing, dresses well, good manners, not a gold digger, not ultra needy, faithful, classy, funny, outgoing, considerate, passionate, good in bed, cheerful, no overuse of drugs.
Overall for boys: Attractive, kind, charming, funny, financially stable, dresses well, good manners, faithful, confident, outgoing, interesting, passionate, good in bed, no overuse of drugs.

Answer to why did you do this? For some reason, I got really addicted to answering people’s questions on this website, and noticed on the singles and dating section it is basically the same questions over and over. It started to annoy me so I just decided to give a blanket answer rather than type it out over and over again. And a basic urge to help people not go through the same sh*t I went through.

Technorati Tags: adult, angelina jolie, cheers, confidence, coward, Dating Questions, ex girlfriend, fear, fear of rejection, girls, joys of love, love affection, phone number, possibilities, prince william, Rejection, schoolboy, signs, worry

He says he wants to marry me, he loves me, we live together,etc. but at times I feel he still wants her. she left him and has someone new, after we got together, then she wanted my bf back, wrote him letters,etc. so he could’ve went back but their divorce isnt final yet and i feel like he is dragging it out. he says its because he cant afford the atty.& the atty said it has to paid in full to finalize the divorce. He is kinda broke but when he does have money he buys stupid stuff and when i tell him to pay the atty, he gets pissy. I understand he wants to live and have fun once in a while but pay it already!! They were seperated before for 2 almost 3 yrs. and she had a kid with someone else and he still took her back, so i’m not sure he will go through with this divorce. He is the one that filed though & he talks crap about how he’s embarrssed he was with her because I’m way better looking then her…So how can I test his love for me and test him to see if he is really over her?
his parents made he marry her because she was pregnant, and he says he stayed for the kids.

Technorati Tags: adult, amp, bf, crap, divorce, Ex Wife, love, money, parents, Seperated, stupid stuff

OK i have been working on this book for about 2 weeks and i think it’s coming together nicely, now im only 12 and i cant write adult stuff in my book, Just few curse word here and there. so please im not afraid of criticism! here is the first bit of it:
The bright, warm sun shone overhead, beaming down on a Georgian Forest. I brushed a curly, brown strand of hair behind my ear as the sun warmed my skin. I heard the signal call, telling me that lunch was prepared. As I ran back to the base camp, I stopped at the sound of a voice.
“So, you’re a little young to be wondering in these woods alone.” the mysterious man said. “Um, I’m not alone.” I replied. “Well,” the man stated, “where are your parents? Do they know you’re walking alone in the forests?”. Come on, seriously. This dude could be a kidnapper for all I know. That‘s when I ran. As simple and wimpy as it could sound and be, I ran. I heard the man’s calls and footsteps coming after me, and not far behind.
Finally, I entered the magic borders that cut the camp off from the real world, the human world. “Genevieve! Where on Earth have you been? You nearly, you…..never mind. What’s that all over you? Is, is that blood?” Scarlett asked. I had nearly forgotten about how and when I fell and scraped up my left leg. “Oh, that’s nothing. I just fell and sort of got banged up. You know.” I advocated. “No, I don’t know. Anyways,” she told me, “Luke is pissed and wants to see me so, I guess go and find something to do. And do not, do not go back outside the border. Understand?”. I nodded, and with that she was gone.
Here’s the thing about Scarlett, she kind of took on the role of my mom slash guardian after my parents died last spring. She was one of the prettier girls at camp. Long blonde hair, intense green eyes with little flecks of gold and blue. Plus, she always wore the most beautiful dresses I’ve ever seen. I never though of myself of pretty. I had long, curly brown hair(which I hate), tan skin(which make me stand out from the others), and ever changing eyes(that remind me of my mom).
I walked down to the mess hall, or tent. We’re having chicken for the sixth time this week. I grabbed a plate and loaded it with all I could but, still leaving some for the others who haven’t eaten yet. Tonight, I guess we were loading up and moving to yet another deserted forest of town. I sat at a table where I was alone and undisturbed. Suddenly, I see him. A human boy, wandering around the magic borders. He looks about my age, turquoise eyes, and sandy blonde hair that flips to the right. Basically, he’s hot.

Technorati Tags: adult, beautiful dresses, Borders, curly brown hair, curse word, flecks, footsteps, forests, genevieve, georgian forest, green eyes, guardian, kidnapper, last spring, left leg, long blonde hair, lunch, mysterious man, parents, real world, strand, warm sun

Only one out of my friends parents are still together
and I don’t even know what their marriage is behind closed doors

The saying about love is that it lasts forever and it never dies
People tell me that all the time,
they tell me to wait and it shall happen for me

but I find that the majority of the people on this world haven’t found it yet even though they may think they do

My friends all say they are in love
Love at the age of 16,17,18? That’s almost impossible in my opinion
From an outsiders perspective;
I can see every teen relationship ending poorly.
They all say they are so in love, but they honestly don’t have a clue what love is.
I have a different perspective on this then most I’ve known..

It seems as if everyone is so ready to grow up,
they want to lose their innocence before it is even their time to.
Then the thing they may realize a few years later is that they will never get that innocence back..

Innocence has got to be the most precious and greatest thing on this world that is being torn away from kids and young teens so unknowingly. They think they are so ready to experience the world, but they are no where near ready.

I’ve heard of 12 year olds loosing their virginity,
12 years old… 12 years old?!
Thats still a child..
I am 17 years old, and I still don’t think it is right at this age to lose your virginity.

There are more years in our life time of having to be an adult than a child..
Why choose to grow up at such a young age?
It’s society’s poor image on teenagers that most look up to and try to duplicate.

Anyways, My point is,
Why doesn’t anyone become best friends first before a relationship,
because I guarantee it’s the best way to fall in love with someone.

I noticed everyone is having sex before they are even ready to do so,
they may even be ready to…but they let sex be the thing to make them fall in love..
instead of falling in love before the sex..
hmmmmm

I wish people would mature
no one has a logical mind about relationships

and you are all on here rambling about ohhhh DOES HE LIKE ME???
OHH THE OTHER DAY WE HAD SEX AND HE DIDN’T TALK TO ME SINCE, AND I MIGHT BE PREGNANT…
honestly…if you even have to say something like that in your lifetime…that really sucks for you haha, time to grow up a bit more and have some respect for your body.

I’ve dated many guys,
There is no point in having sex with someone unless you know you love them,
I have dated over 7 guys I’m sure,…if I had sex with the majority of them I would be regretting it now…because am I still with one of them right now? NO! i’m not, and I don’t think your little teen relationships will last forever either, so stop trying to impress other people by hooking up.

I know what it is like, having the peer pressure to do things,
but it is sooooooooooooooo dumb.
You guys are all frustrating.
Where are the REAL questions about dating& single?

Stop posting things like this;
DOES HE LIKE ME?

HOW DO I GET MY EX BACK?

ehh …..why would you want your ex back first of all?
if he doesn’t want you don’t force it.

Thanks everyone.
stop being so immature about your relationships…cause odds are …you were never in love in the first place like you thought you were
FYI…ive experienced it ALLL. haha..been there done that..and matured since
I’m not putting down everyone, so stop getting so butt hurt.
just the guys and gals who don’t realize that they don’t need to have sex with someone to be liked.
i had a boy friend..thought I was in love[age 16] Didn’t have sex with him for the 6 months we wend out. We had a strong relationship and ended it because we began changing and fighting everyday. Relationships aren’t always effective until you are matured because at such a young age ….everyone is changing rapidly.

Technorati Tags: 12 year olds, 17 years, adult, best friends, closed doors, clue, different perspective, falling in love, having sex, innocence, life time, love, marriage, outsiders, parents, perspective, poor image, relationships, teen relationship, teenagers, virginity, young teens

While posting on an "adult" message board for erotic film enthusiasts I brought up how turned on I used to be as a kid about the prospect of seeing naked women in playboys and films like Porky’s and how watching porn today can be a joyless almost numbing experience.

We all agreed that the most fun we ever had watching porn was during sleepovers at friends, one of our friends would bring out the tape and we’d see the hot chick on the box cover covering herself with a pillow and I’d have to stamp my feet as fast as I could on the carpet and chew on my t-shirt to keep from screaming for joy. The first time the woman would get naked we all couldnt believe it and we’d pause the movie and we’d have to cover our boners with our pillows and then go use the bathroom so we could jerk off.

Looking back on those sleepovers I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my entire life, and it has been impossible to recapture that sense of naive joy and erotic wonder, even my first time having sex with a woman was a letdown by comparison.

We all agreed this was true and I came up with the idea of holding "sleepovers" and pretending we’re 11 years old again, and several posters who lived in my area agreed this was a great idea.

A few dozen posts later we were able to work out some ground rules. One big rule is that we all had to be at least 18 years old (most of us are 35 and older). Each member has to try to hold at least one gathering every 3 months (there are 12 of us) and we have to stay in character at ALL times so as to not break the spell. (kind of like live action role playing)

The host of the party has to provide the material, usually old playboy tapes, Penthouse Magazines, and hardcore porn (must be from 1992 or before, preferably 80’s "golden age" porn.

We all have to wear pajamas and bring chips and pop. We tend to play old nintendo games for an hour till the hosts "parents" go to bed then the host goes "look what I got guys!" then takes out the porn and we all jump around and high five and then wait with giddy expectation. During the movie we turn to each other and grin and talk about how horny we are and comment on the "action". Like if a women with huge breasts disrobes for a shower we have to pause the movie and go "whoaaaa!" "I’d like to suck on those" "Imagine if you touched her boobs with your penis!" "I heard that girls will put their mouth on your penis and lick it!" etc. There used to be a no masturbation rule but that was quickly nixed, the whole purpose of the gatherings is to feed off each others erotic energy the pent up erotic energy is too much to resist, we tend to all whip down our pajamas at the same time and masturbate , we try to keep a silly naive quality though and jokingly point at each others members and try to shout out different things when we *** "That sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catchphrase.

Since starting these gatherings I have never felt more alive and my sex life with my wife couldn’t be better, that is until one gathering where she caught an early flight home for the purpose of "surprising" me and ended up walking in on a dozen men masturbating in her living room. I will never forget the shocked look on her face and she immediately left and stayed at her sisters house.

I managed to talk to her and explain what she witnessed but she isn’t really buying my story, she keeps going on about how I am having "gay sex orgies" behind her back (we never touch each other!!!) and that I am living a lie. She has even started to indicate that she wants a divorce!

Is there any way I can get her to understand what I have been doing? I love my wife and ironically have never been more attracted to her than I am now, I realize I had been somewhat childish and now realize that I have a gorgeous voluptuous woman that my 11 year old self would have sold his Super Nintendo and Bike just to be able to touch her naked breasts and I could lose her. Please help me get her back!

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EX: I have a college degree. Reading comprehension has always been a weakness for me. So, now I’m trying to sharpen my reading comprehension skills.

Or it can even be about learning new games that kids play.

Technorati Tags: adult, Beneficial, college degree, games, Kids Learning, new games, reading comprehension skills, Reading Skills

Are you thinking ‘Can I get back with m ex lover‘? Almost every adult on the planet has gone through a relationship break up at some point in their lives. Most of the time people simply move through the hurt and try to move on.

What these people don’t realize is that around 90% of all relationship break ups could have been stopped and if they’ve already happened, then they can be reversed.

The first step in learning how to get back with your ex is to look objectively at why the break up happened. You won’t be able to change the reasons why you broke up, but you should be objective enough to realize that it takes two. This means accepting responsibility for your part in the relationship, understanding what mistakes you might have made and learning from them.

Try to think about what specific attributes attracted your ex to you when you first met. This doesn’t necessarily mean your looks. It means ask yourself what did you do back then that made him so happy to spend plenty of time in your company?

Compare this to the time you spent together just before the break up. Was he becoming distant, which made you want to hang onto him even tighter? Was he pulling away, which made you try hard to let him know how much you loved him? Perhaps you spent plenty of time analyzing the relationship in an effort to fix it before the break up happened.

Each of these things spells ‘needy’ to a male, yet the biggest thing that attracts most men to their partners is a happy, confident girl that makes them feel good to be around. Neediness can often push a man away from even the best relationship.

Work hard on regaining your confidence and your happiness. Remember, these are the things your ex fell in love with in the first place, and they’re the same things that can make your ex fall in love with you all over again.

Men and women communicate very differently to each other. When a woman is trying to find out how to get back with her ex, she will attempt to get her ex to talk about what went wrong. She wants to analyze and fix whatever was broken in the relationship.

Men won’t view this as a sign that it should be fixed or that you should get back together. They simply view it as being too needy and they will begin wondering how to find someone who makes their time spent together happy and fun again.

The next big positive step you can take to get back with your ex is to arrange to meet for a chat about the possibility of remaining in touch with each other. Don’t be surprised if he’s initially a little hesitant. After all, he’ll be remembering only the reasons you broke up.

He’ll need some gentle reminding about all the reasons he fell in love with you in order to make him realize you were one of the best things that had happened to him. Your gentle reminders should be to show him that you’re happy and confident again, just like you were when he fell in love with you the first time. You shouldn’t be yelling at him or blaming or accusing and you shouldn’t be telling him all the good things you did. These things don’t work. Simply allow him to see the happy, confident, independent person that swept him off his feet and his feelings will begin to re-emerge all on their own. Then you’ll have a strong foundation for getting back together with your ex again.

Technorati Tags: adult, Relationship Break Ups

Long story but totally worth it!

My boyfriends ex girlfriend wants to get back together with him AGAIN!!!! They also have a child together but have been on again off again since he was born. They have recently been broken up for a year and a half and this time it was because she cheated on him. She has taken him to court several times for custody and a few other times for some non-sense that was throw out.

We have been together for almost a year now and she’s known that we’ve been seeing each other but just until recently (past couple months) he and I have made it become more serious and we both love each other (awww, isn’t love grand! hehe) and low and behold, a few weeks ago she called him and told him that she still loved him and wants him back and that she wants him to think about it. He told me that she called him and i value that he was honest and that makes me trust him.

I havn’t brought it up since he told me because I am secure in our relationship but she keeps texting him and what have you and I’m starting to get ******* irritated as hell!!!! Example: They talk on the phone about their child etc..etc.. and he talks to her in front of me and its no problem, but he’ll drop their son off to her and moments later he gets a text from her about how she loves him and how she knows he still loves her blah blah blah. Or she’ll call him at like 3am or text him! He is not in love with her nor does he have any type of love for her besides being the mother of his child. and they both know that every time they’ve "tried to work it out" it never worked….so whats the freakin deal here? Why can’t she move on like an adult its been how many attempts and how many years? She also called and asked all these personal questions about me and him, like if I get him off and if we have good sex etc…hello grow up??? I can’t even amagine asking questions like that to my ex ( i have a child too and I have moved on, and I did it with grace thank you very much) Geezzzz!

Should I stop ignoring it and tell him how I feel? And whats her deal? Is she just testing him or does she only love him and want him back when he’s in a great, loving, healthy, relationship and its not with her….I just want her to back off….but I understand they have a kid together etc…but uhhh errrr I just need some advise PAH-LEASE! Thanks! BTW I am 27 he is 28….and she’s 33.

Technorati Tags: 3am, adult, attempts, awww, blah blah blah, boyfriends, ex girlfriend, good sex, hehe, hell, Long Story, love, personal questions, relationship, several times, sex etc

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. For the first 3 and a half we were on and off and everywhere inbetween just because we were young, naive, and unsure of what we wanted. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love, first to take my virginity, first of literally everything. I have always felt a deep love and a gut feeling towards this man. During the times we weren’t together, just considered "sex buddies", it didn’t matter how great of another person I had found to date I dumped that person immediatley just to have a one night with my ex. I took every opportunity to be with him.

Towards the end of those 3 and a half years, both of us were going down a horrible path. Him with his drinking and drugs, and me dating several men at once and doing adult modeling. We realized at the end of those 3 and a half years where we were headed was a dead end and we needed to get our stuff together and we did. We jumped back into a serious relationship and helped each other turn our lives around. Over the last 2 and a half years we’ve hit a couple small bumps in the road but we’ve easily overcome them and it’s made us nothing but stronger. We love each other very much, we’re each other’s best friends, we both know our world would come crashing down without each other. We’ve been planning our future, saving up money to buy a house together outside the state, planning on marriage someday (when the time is right), and growing old together.

About 3 weeks ago, he did the unthinkable. He cheated on me. I shocked me, it shocked him, anyone who hears the story and knows my boyfriend well would be in complete shock. He payed a prostitute to meet him in the middle of the night for oral sex. Thankfully he used a condom the entire time. And thankfully it wasn’t someone he knew where something like this could turn into a love triangle. He told me a week later what he did, how incredibly sorry he was, how sick he was that he did it, he couldn’t explain his actions, he couldn’t believe he went against his morals, religion, everything he’s about. He couldn’t believe he could do something so horrible to the woman he loves the most.

Some would tell me to leave him. Some would tell me to seperate for awhile. I decided to tell him I’d work it out with him. We’ve come so far and gone through so much. I told him the bare thought of being without him hurt 100x worse than accepting that went behind my back to shove his dick in another woman’s mouth.

He keeps telling me I deserve better but I refuse to believe it. During those 3 and a half years when we weren’t together I found another boyfriend. Before that man asked me out I thought "what if my ex comes back? I guess I can dump this guy and go running back to my ex cuz he’s what I really want". 3 months into that relationship, my ex did come back. Breaking up with this dude was no easy task. He was very controlling, very minipulative and I felt I was being guilt tripped and forced to stay. So I cheated on him with my ex…. 11 times in those last 5 months with that man. I almost feel I deserved this like karma is kicking me square in the butt. It was very wrong for me to cheat and even though the guy treated me like crap, didn’t justify my actions.

Do I trust my lover? Absolutely not. That part is shattered. I spent a whole week asking questions. I wanted to know the whole story. I wanted to know all possible reasons that could have lead to him to cheat. He also has a problem with instant gratification, he wants it now and we’re also working on that. I told him trust takes nothing but reassurance and time. Forgiveness will not happen in a day or a week or even a year. Takes time. He has to learn patience. I hate to pull the leash so tight and lock him in the dog house but it’s not my fault he got there. Even if it’s something I had done or didn’t do, it’s his fault for not communicating that to me before this happened. So, I made him get tested. Condom or not, there are possibilities of disease. His porn is trashed, deleted, and banned for a long while. His jerking off every day, every night has to come to a stop. A possibility of him cheating could have been a sex addition, a porn addiction, boredom (he’s unemployed right now) and I will do everything in my power to make sure we cure those possibilities. I email him throughout the day everyday, I want to know what he’s up to. We don’t live together which is hard for me to monitor his every move but I do see him almost every night for a few hours after my work, and all day through every weekend. I do question him a lot and exect answers. I tell him he MUST tell me everything no matter if he thinks it’ll hurt me. It’s best out than kept in. If he’s not satisfied in the relationship for some reason or another he MUST tell me so we can fix it so he can be satisfied again. Communication is vital in our relationship if he wants this relationship to last. I’ve been asking A LOT of questions and he’s been good with answers. I told him if he is unfaithful one more time, I DO NOT tolerate a man who constantly cheats. I deserve a man better than that. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I spoil my man rotton and have. I cook from scratch for him often, sew up his torn and broken jeans, I take him out to amusement parks and other fun activities and shower him with gifts for his bday, our anniversary, xmas, and valentines. He spoils me too, just differently (he pays for all of our weekly fun like all dinners and movies and stuff). I give him massages and backscratches. I help him go fishing, I help him re-load his guns when he goes to practice his shooting (like a shooting range). I do everything in my power to be the most perfect girlfriend for him. I read up on sex, sexual techniques, and pay attention to his likes and dislikes so he can be sexually satisfied always. I listen to him. I understand him.

He’s been good so far and is definately changing for the better. We’ve been talking more, he’s coming up to my work to take me to lunch once a week, he’s being more active instead of sitting on his butt being bored. He’s been telling me how much he truely loves me, how truely sorry he is for screwing up. He’s been doing a lot more to please me. He even put a promise ring on my finger, promising to never leave me, to never cheat on me ever ever ever again, and to be the best man he can for me. I like it and all and I think it’s very sweet of him… i just hate knowing how it got there, what hurdle we had to jump over for the ring to appear on my left ring finger.

I guess what I’m looking for in response is am I doing the right thing? Is working through this, both him and I praying over the situation and bettering ourselves, and me keeping him on a tight leash in the dog house is the right thing? What would you have done if the man you’ve been loving for 6 years stuck his dick in a prostitute’s mouth?

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Long story short (well, kind of); I lived at home until I was 23 so my mom and I had more time than most to bond. We are really close and we consider each other our best friend. I moved in with my b/f just 10 miles away in the next town over and was always there to talk to her or visit frequently. My b/f was an immigrant and there was a problem with his visa and he got sent back to his home country just before we were about to get married. I love him with all my heart so I moved to his country to be with him and I couldn’t imagine it any other way because I love him with all of my heart. We got married in his country and I am now living there. This was all early last year. I stayed about 6 months and needed to come back to the U.S. for personal reason and I have been here almost 5 1/2 months but I am leaving in a few weeks to permanently be with him.

The thing is, my mother has been with the same man for 18 years and he treats her horribly. Right after I came back we found out he was seeing another lady and he ended up moving in with her. He’s coming back and forth between the two now playing games with both of them. We live in a very small town and my mother doesn’t have many friends or any hope of finding someone else and truth be told I think she still wants him to come back. One reason is that she can’t financially support herself and my teenage brother that lives with her. She really has no one and I see her devestated that I am leaving although she understands that I have to in order to save my marriage. The man she is seeing (back and forth) is a horrible person and she’s constantly depressed because of his actions and my brother adds to that. He is disrespectful and out of control. He cusses her, calls her names, and really treats her like a piece of crap. I feel so bad leaving here there all alone but I realize I am an adult now and I have to get on with my life.

She’s on disability and has no job to occupy her time. She sits around everyday doing basically nothing and has started to drink more and more.

I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading such a long question!

I wish my mother would come with me. She’s not as open minded as I am about moving to a different country and she’s dead set on having my brother finish school where he is and not having to sell her house, etc.

Technorati Tags: 18 years, adult, best friend, devestated, disability, heart, horrible person, Imagine, job, love, marriage, mom, Moving, Names, personal reason, piece of crap, playing games, teenage brother, truth, visa