Is the point of life, death?

I’ve been working it through in my head for years now… I’m a reasonable person, I don’t believe in any religion or after life. I quite like the idea of being accountable for my own life.

I always feel incomplete. It occurs to me that anything I do gives me momentary satisfaction and nothing fulfilling. I’ve turned to art but its a lonely occupation and as soon as I’ve made a project it loses me. The magic is gone instantly and I search again.

I’ve never met a woman who I found really got me, or who made me feel like I wanted to have anything more from. People to me are simple. They don’t surprise me or leap out. What’s more I just see a society that is geared entirely around money…

My Dad passed from a heart attack about five years ago and ever since then every morning I wake up and I try to find a way to make the day memorable but… I’m just ash. I walk, I talk but I just want peace.
I see trees and rocks and leaves which according to my beliefs is what I’ll become, just a part of everything else. I just feel unendingly empty…

I feel like I’m avoiding women so that I don’t waste my time here. I feel like I’m making art to get whatever it was that was in my mind out there and have some sense of lasting feeling of achievement. I’m in my twenties and I feel like I’m going to die soon.

I wake up and I think, when.

Is the whole point of life to get whatever you want to do out of your system so you’re just ready to die?


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My poem, please read and tell me what you think?

I haven’t written a hatred poem for a long time but I gave my love my life, to this guy and promised him happiness yet he refuse to take it and left me. He refuse to give me a second chance like I gave him. I was left at home suffering and punishing myself every night and crying. The moment he said, "I never want you back" my whole body became numb.
Any suggestion to make this better, please tell me :)
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I woke up choking, struggling for air
I’m short of breath, heart’s beating in pain
My heart’s in the hand of the demon of despair
The fear is making my mind insane

Every night this shadow stands by my bed
Choking my neck and ripping my heart
Putting all these voices in my head
Giving me hope then ripping my skin apart

I filled my heart with hope and love
Forgotten the grief, Forgotten the pain
Prayed for guidance from the sky above
Trusted the false just to feel like I’m sane

My heart only ached for one more chance
Begged the demon to let me free
To reunite with my love, my perfect romance
But I was left dead with terror that I hadn’t foresee

Leaving me with a heart as dark as death
My mind’s too shaken, my vision collapse
Look in to my eyes, there’s nothing left
Traded my heart just for hollow crap

Befriended with lies and unchained your heart
I have blindly free you in to the wrong direction
The stronger my love, the further we part
My love is now a crime, a fatal injection

My gift for you was my heart to take
Lets throw it away like it’s decayed flesh
Trapped in my promise, a promise I won’t break
Now it’s solitude I choose until I’m none but ash

This is the path I have fallen to face
I’ve became my own hate that I’m sick of feeling
Being unbearably punished in my own disgrace
I’ve became my own saviour to stop me from fading

Forget the past, Forget the future
Forget everything that had ever existed
I’m just a blemish in your life that’s nothing but torture
Forget the memories and let it desist

The air sweet with wings now dark with scars
Too afraid to turn back, too afraid to fly
Given up your wish on the shooting star
The wish came true but it never got through your eyes
I am in coma, let the lies eat my mind
Hyperventilate with the voices shattering in my head
Leave me alone where I was left behind
Burden from the past and what lies ahead

This love now fear on the string of a promise
Buried inside a heart as deadly as death
No more to believe, nothing to miss
This love locked away forever from everything that’s left


Related Information:

What is this guy mean or trying to say?

lyrics to a song..

This is my renaissance
This is my one response
This is the way I say I love you
This is my second chance
This is my one romance
This is the cutting line
On which I stand to show you

It happened fast in a flash just this evening
I hit the gas, horn blast, brakes screaming
Car crash, broken glass, broke my dreaming
I hit the dash so fast my ears are ringing
My sister’s on the right side just slightly leaning
I grabbed her hand hard until she started breathing
My brothers in the back jaw cracked from the beating
The breath in my chest has slipped and I’m sinking
Blinking through diamond spider webs of cracked glass
I’m trying to remember all the words you said in the past
Through the ash, siren screams and red beams
I hear you sing softly to me

[chorus]
I can be the wall when you fall down
Find me on the rocks when you break down
I heard it in the song when you call out
But I got to say now it’s got to change

This is my broken heart
This is my bleeding start
This is the way I’ve come to know you
This is my winding road
This is my way back home
This is the narrow door you know that I will walk through

I got a letter today of why she went away
She said ‘it’s better this way, you knew I never could stay’
Half empty closets and frames, all that’s left to my name
As she left in the rain and left my heart on a chain
Three years I’ve built this two face tower for hours on a lease
You gave me one yellow flower that said rest in peace
IN pieces I’ve broken open to think too much or just enough
Alone to trust midst the rubble and the dust
Humbled, it took this much to break down and understand
Spent half my life on castles made of sand
Tossed in the breakers in the palm of your hand
Now I can finally stand

[chorus]

This is my renaissance
This is my one response
This is the way I say I love you

His facebook status is :
"I spent my life this far on castles made of sand, tossed in the breakers in the palm of your hand, now i can finally stand."
^^^ (that is part of the song. )

WHAT DOES THIS SONG MEAN… the meaning to it?
what do you think

-thanks


Related Information:

what does this guy mean, or trying to say?

lyrics to a song..

This is my renaissance
This is my one response
This is the way I say I love you
This is my second chance
This is my one romance
This is the cutting line
On which I stand to show you

It happened fast in a flash just this evening
I hit the gas, horn blast, brakes screaming
Car crash, broken glass, broke my dreaming
I hit the dash so fast my ears are ringing
My sister’s on the right side just slightly leaning
I grabbed her hand hard until she started breathing
My brothers in the back jaw cracked from the beating
The breath in my chest has slipped and I’m sinking
Blinking through diamond spider webs of cracked glass
I’m trying to remember all the words you said in the past
Through the ash, siren screams and red beams
I hear you sing softly to me

[chorus]
I can be the wall when you fall down
Find me on the rocks when you break down
I heard it in the song when you call out
But I got to say now it’s got to change

This is my broken heart
This is my bleeding start
This is the way I’ve come to know you
This is my winding road
This is my way back home
This is the narrow door you know that I will walk through

I got a letter today of why she went away
She said ‘it’s better this way, you knew I never could stay’
Half empty closets and frames, all that’s left to my name
As she left in the rain and left my heart on a chain
Three years I’ve built this two face tower for hours on a lease
You gave me one yellow flower that said rest in peace
IN pieces I’ve broken open to think too much or just enough
Alone to trust midst the rubble and the dust
Humbled, it took this much to break down and understand
Spent half my life on castles made of sand
Tossed in the breakers in the palm of your hand
Now I can finally stand

[chorus]

This is my renaissance
This is my one response
This is the way I say I love you

His facebook status is :
"I spent my life this far on castles made of sand, tossed in the breakers in the palm of your hand, now i can finally stand."
^^^ (that is part of the song. )

WHAT DOES THIS SONG MEAN… the meaning to it?
what do you think

-thanks


Related Information:

will I ever love again?

okay in a nutshell i was in love with this guy for 3 years and he didn’t feel the same way, however, we were best friends. and he just didn’t see me like that. last year in november we had the biggest fight ever which involved alot of yelling and arguing and it was over things i hadn’t even said about a girl (*ash) who was his friend but i didn’t get along with. and we made up again.. but then a few days later i had a gut feeling to just stop talking to him because it wasn’t worth it if he wasn’t gonna stick up for me (his friend- the boyfriend of *ash, wrote me a very abusive email with threats in it).
so i just stopped talking to him and we just fell away slowly. now we don’t even know eachother.

we will sit on the same desk and not even make eye contact.

lately i cant stop thinkin bout him. yesterday i walked through the shops and his mum walked past and said hi to me. and was smiling and was so genuine. i dont know what to do. how do i forget him? will i ever get over it?
I felt bad that i had said more to his mum than him in the last 6 months. i think about the day we fought all the time, I’m over him, but im not over what happened.

I’d also love if anyone could send messages through myspace too

(myspace.com/cheeseisgoood)
I felt bad that i had said more to his mum than him in the last 6 months. i think about the day we fought all the time, I’m over him, but im not over what happened. how do i forget everything that happened.
I felt bad that i had said more to his mum than him in the last 6 months. i think about the day we fought all the time, I’m over him, but im not over what happened. how do i forget everything that happened.


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