I am from a very strict background. My husband didn’t have a father and his mother was VERY loose and uncaring. He has had a rough upbringing and life. We have had many problems already but we both know we are meant to be and stay together, no matter what. A past "friend" (female and very jealous) lied to him about me to cause a serious problem. He has been "running" ever since. He says he is to blame for the problem anyway, but he can’t seem to get himself together. He quit his job and went away for 8 weeks. We have a 2 yr old and I am 8 months pregnant. I just don’t feel the closeness we used to have. I have offered to do anything he feels he needs to help our situation. He just can’t seem to put one foot in front of the other, even though he says he wants to. He has made attempts but has failed so far. What can/should I do?



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my boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago for a another girl we had been going out for a month and I had liked him for really long time and I found out he lied to me about his cousin being shot and killed in the marines. we do not speak or have any contact I deleted him as friend on facebook. but this weekend I saw him at a parade I new he would be at and he was whereing the
hat I gave to him for valentines day then him and his friend start following me around a bit.then on Monday he was continuassly looking at me and smiling and in dodgeball he was making delibrate attempts to hit me I don’t think I want to go out with him but I want him to want to go out with me again!


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I was a late bloomer, and new even younger I was inquisitive, adventurous yet cautious and no where near ready to get married, in addition when I was 35 I had the blessed opportunity to have my aging mom come & agree to live with me & became the best friends we had ever been, & I was able to return the help, love and loyalty she gave me as a kid and on. I met a man two years later, after she passed, very laid back but friendly (German) and I am Greek. He was a polite slow starter to our friendship, had been married 25 years and wife left after last kid left the house. Later I found out she also expressed what was wrong, and by the time we met two year after their divorce, she was making attempts to declare interest again..maybe from guilt, maybe from second guessing her decision, conscience, or just making sure she did the right thing. By this time my husband had made a decision as we were progressing that I was the one he wanted to pursue.. So he did and in time after not much responding to her as I said to him her interruptions were unwelcome, either tell her you are seeing someone, it’s too late, and stop or I told him go and try again and be sure. Hence we are married. He really pushed to be married fairly soon. He did everything right that I saw and was responsible. He didn’t want to wait. I lost my head. He wooed me, dined me, called me, couldn’t keep his attentions or (later) stop from kissing and holding me, and even when I asked for us to slow the physical down he did so without hesitation until we married. He is a good man. The day we married HOWEVER and forward he (I believe got suddenly confused) I guess. We just married in a church, two witnesses and that’s it. I was disappointed he wanted no wedding or never considered it would be special and a welcome memory for me to make an effort to have something more special, but he was in such a hurry.. and said he had the "big wedding" and were were both older and it costs money (I agreed), so we didn’t. I would be okay today with this if all had not changed the day we married. We had 5 minute s-x and went to Cracker Barrell for lunch. He was cold. His family was upset, though they and we are fine now, he was unhappy, he would not touch me and I was lucky to see 5 minute s-x once a month, I asked him two weeks into the marriage waht’s going on and that I needed him.. he said absolutely nothing and left for work. Time would lapse and he wouldn’t notice, I had addressed it many times and that one of the things that drew me two him was when I asked what he wanted out of his marriage if done again.. he said someone who likes to have s-x AND communication. To date he rarely does either. Two months into it I told him clearly I noticed and asked if he did, & he clammed up. Later I asked him most difficult questions -
If he was happy; he shook his head no; If he wanted to be married – he shook no; If her wanted to be
married to me – shook no; If he wanted to be married to me the next 30 years – shook no; If he loved or was in love with me – he shook no. It was 2 am when I asked those tough questions – tough for me to ask and tough for me to hear. Since, then he thought I would surely throw him out. I did not. He said he didn’t know why he felt that way but thought of me as a sister and didn’t have s–x—l feeling at that time and asked me to give him time. I did. We are good friends, we joke,I love him, take care of him – one of the things he did though for months early in this short year though, was point out all the things we didn’t have in common. In sort of a poking sarcastic way. Though I asked him later on to stop and he did, the lack of passion that was missing has taken a toll on me. It sunk in after awhile and really hurt me. I kind of had a delayed reaction to how he initially felt. We both believe in Jesus, and am sure that is what glues us at this point. He has never acted like he is in love with me since we dated, and changed "the day of marriage". It feels horrible. I asked him if he was just staying because he didn’t want another failed marriage, or just wants a companion, or why?
He said he loves me was his answer, but I have not seen one passionate romantic gesture or outing where he clearly means physical busniess. I used to have to ask and initiate sex and told him later on I do not want to anymore, but it is hard, and now I have lost so much interest. He doesn’t have his hands on me and want me like he used to during dating, it isn’t like he always was this way. He was respectful but very different. I have mentioned 3 or 4 times this year.. that I need physical affection and to see and hear he wants me and show it, He has become so reserved and mechanical when we are together. He tries. I can tell, but something is stopping him. He has relaxed much and we joke and eat out. I am the same weight I was when we dated and married.
I tell him I love him he tells me, but all the sexy texts and passion left – WHERE DI IT GO? He won’t open up


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I ask because he has made NO further attempts to contact her; I gather she is on holiday (at home, and he is working) but as far as I know, he has NOT contacted her. Assume this is the truth.

So – was their meeting last week just coincidence?

History is:

In Feb this year I caught my husband cheating with a woman for a whole year and apparently he was on the verge of leaving me for her but we worked through it. He swore that was it with her. Although he said he had loved her. She sent me all his messages and texts and IMs and in these, he expressed his love for her, said he didn’t want to be with me, I was sexless and cold, but SHE was vibrant, sexy and made him feel loved and able to love again.

After I found out, he cut her off and was horrible to her. He also denied he "meant" what he said in the years’ worth of those messages. BUT –

He went back to her many many times over 6 months, after he promised me that he would cut her out of his life for good – most recently in August when he went to her work, asked the guard to call her down, she got into his van to hear him out ..

The next thing you know, my husband is arrested for ‘sexual assault’ in September. He was finally released without charge 2 weeks ago, and that was that, but they have been warned to stay away from each other.

PRESENT DAY:

As some of you know, lately (last 2 weeks) he has watched her from his work van as she walks from her office to the station; he DOES genuinely have jobs in that street but he HAS watched her as opposed to hiding behind a newspaper as he sits in his van/looking away, etc.

This has happened 3 times in 3 weeks, and each time, he has stared, and she has walked on, not stopping.

THIS TIME, SHE STOPPED AND THEY TALKED.

I can’t believe it. If the sexual assault arrest has not made him hate her WHAT THE F*CK WILL???

This is what they talked about, which I know because his partner driver "felt I should know" – he was not there but was nearby -

Admitted to her that he HAD indeed been waiting for her to approach him all those times he was parked near her work, and asked why she had been "running past" him!
Apparently he "forgave" her for having him arrested.
He wished her a happy belated birthday.
He asked how her new house was going.
Oh this is good; he asked why he "could not find her" on Facebook.
He asked her ‘can I trust you now?’ (!!)
He said ‘will you let me wave at you if I drive past you?’
She told him another guy had got obsessed with her lately and he said "See I told you you were dangerous" – what does that mean?

Please can someone decipher the things he said to her,AND tell me why would he give her the time of day?

This was last Monday but even on Tuesday, apparently he passed her in his truck and beeped & waved at her!

I am concerned as to what he plans next.


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-she cheated on you once when you were going out
-she flirted constantly with another dude when you were going out
-your attempts to show your affection went un-returned
-she made you feel invisble
-she was making out with another guy the next night after you’d broken up with her

…now, the reason why i’d broken up with mine in the first place was cuz i began to feel as tho she didn’t feel the way i did, cuz she never showed it…so i felt like my head had been effed with, and to prevent any further hurt, i broke the relationship off. but…she claims to still really like me, and that the reason why she did the things she did, was cuz she was “scared that it might have actually worked,” cuz she’s “scared of commitment”…arggg…

What do i do?


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