Okay me and my ex where together for about a year and a half. Everything was great until my ex came into the picture. He came in telling me that he still had feelings for me and he wanted to try things out again. I turned him down and told him I was in love with my boyfriend and we could be friends. But he wanted to be more than that. He kept pushing up on me so I told my boyfriend and they talked. My boyfriend asked my ex to leave me alone and asked me to not talk to him. =( I went behind his back and kept talking to him and some old feelings came back. I decided to give him a chance and ended things with my boyfriend telling him that it was because of family problems. He was crushed. Then when it came back to me and my ex he played me and two other chicks and now we don’t even talk. I then realized that I still did love my boyfriend so my best friend who was cool with him talked to him and he said that he was gonna hurt me as bad as I hurted him and that he really did love me. After finding that out I felt like such a jerk. My ex boyfriend and I haven’t talked since Halloween of 09 now its Feb and Im making a trip to NY to see my aunt and that’s where I first met him. Its gonna be the first time I see him since the break up and I still love him and want him back. I have his new number and Im not sure if I should try to talk to him before I go up there or wait til Im up there. In the back of my mind there is always a chance of rejection and if I talk to him now and that happens it will be so awkwared. But then what if he still feels the same way I do.

HELP ME WHAT DO I DO. ANSWER ASAP IM LEAVING SATURDAY

If your gonna say talk to him what do I say to him?

Technorati Tags: back of my mind, best friend, chicks, feelings, halloween, jerk, love, old feelings, Rejection

Okay me and my ex where together for about a year and a half. Everything was great until my ex came into the picture. He came in telling me that he still had feelings for me and he wanted to try things out again. I turned him down and told him I was in love with my boyfriend and we could be friends. But he wanted to be more than that. He kept pushing up on me so I told my boyfriend and they talked. My boyfriend asked my ex to leave me alone and asked me to not talk to him. =( I went behind his back and kept talking to him and some old feelings came back. I decided to give him a chance and ended things with my boyfriend telling him that it was because of family problems. He was crushed. Then when it came back to me and my ex he played me and two other chicks and now we don’t even talk. I then realized that I still did love my boyfriend so my best friend who was cool with him talked to him and he said that he was gonna hurt me as bad as I hurted him and that he really did love me. After finding that out I felt like such a jerk. My ex boyfriend and I haven’t talked since Halloween of 09 now its Feb and Im making a trip to NY to see my aunt and that’s where I first met him. Its gonna be the first time I see him since the break up and I still love him and want him back. I have his new number and Im not sure if I should try to talk to him before I go up there or wait til Im up there. In the back of my mind there is always a chance of rejection and if I talk to him now and that happens it will be so awkwared. But then what if he still feels the same way I do.

HELP ME WHAT DO I DO. ANSWER ASAP IM LEAVING SATURDAY

Technorati Tags: back of my mind, best friend, break up, chicks, feelings, halloween, jerk, love, old feelings, Rejection

I just recently found out that my husband of 2 years (partner of 4) has been rekindling his friendship with a girl he was , for lack of a better description, madly in love with all throughout his high school years and part of his time in college. He was head over heels for her, would do anything and be anything she needed, but supposedly never even so much as kissed her.
Well, to sum up their story and start on why I am uneasy she ended up getting married to some mutual friend of theirs, getting divorced, getting knocked up by the mutual friend and then marrying him AGAIN. Now her husband is in the Army , and she has two kids.
This year has NOT been the best for my marriage either. My husband joined the Air Force, then was discharged for medical reasons. We have had several (often physical) fights, and two months ago I found out I was pregnant, only to suffer a miscarriage three weeks later. And now, this other girl, Let’s just call her Dee, her husband is in Iraq for 18 months and mine has decided to start talking to her again via facebook. He never liked facebook until recently, but now has it on his phone and even Xbox. He even put a passcode on his cell phone which he didn’t have until recently. Now he is planning to visit his AF buddy this coming weekend in FL, but I am not sure if I believe thats where he is going bc she is in North Carolina and it will take approx the same amount of time either way. I have to let him go, and if he is seeing his AF friend I am all for it, but in the back of my mind i wonder if that is where he is going. I told him when he gets there take lots of pictures of him and his friend. I don’t know how else I will ever know the truth. Do you think my worries are unfounded?
well to answer one question the reason I am not going on the trip is my job. I am a x ray tech in a hospital , and I work 3rd shift 12 hour shifts all weekend. My holiday is thanksgiving plus I am working an extra 6 hours so I work this fri-sun 7p-7a then wed 7p-1a then thurs 7a-7p then fri-sun again 7p-7a. So as you can see I have NO time to do anything this week except sleep and get ready for my next shift. I told him I could not go bc of my work and with Christmas coming up, I need the money.
also see previous questions of mine and you will see he often started the physical fights. He even choked me while I was pregnant and some of you are making it sound like it was my fault! know the situation before you point fingers. We saw a counselor about that particular fight.
Lastly, I never told him he could not talk to this person. He decided that on his own. I am just concerned about the secrecy and why all of a sudden he wants to talk to her again. I also said I know that I cannot stop him from going on this trip, nor do I plan to.
And to "jaded" you obviously have no idea what you are talking about. This pregnancy was NOT planned, and the fight we had was about something unrelated to this situation. I am not planning on getting pregnant in the near future, I never said I was. I know this is not a situation to bring a child into, in fact I firmly believe no child should have to live through any argument between family as someone who grew up in an extremely dysfunctional environment. Lastly, don’t tell me to grow up or get mature. You don’t know me honey.

Technorati Tags: 12 hour shifts, 1a, 7a, 7p, air force, amount of time, army, back of my mind, cell phone, dee, fri, Friends, friendship, head over heels, love interest, marriage, medical reasons, mutual friend, passcode, physical fights, thanksgiving, worries, x ray tech, xbox

Hello,

I will apologize in advance for the length of this but I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t feel like I have anyone who understands what I’m feeling. So I’m going to vent for the first time about my feelings here with you.

I just turned 28 and had a mental break down over my birthday. Now that I am approaching my 30’s I see that I have accomplished nothing in my life. I have been living from paycheck to paycheck working in retail for over 10 years now with nothing to show for. I still live with my parents, I am always broke, I have no friends, and I am terrified at the thought of going to school again. My life mainly consist of working lots of hours at dead end jobs that get me nowhere and pay near nothing.

Suicide lingers in the back of my mind often, but I know I could never go through with it because I want to be there for my 5th grade son. I am ashamed that I couldn’t have provided a better life for him. I lacked the ambition to stay in college because I couldn’t even pass my prerequisite math and english courses to pursue a degree. I feel like an incompetent loser.

My girlfriend of 3 years loved me and accepted me for who I am. We lived together for 2 and a half years. She was always supportive of me and wanted nothing more than to get married and start a family. I love her with all my heart. But I constantly doubted myself because I can barely take care of myself and my son as it is. How can I possibly have a wife and more children? I even cheated on her and she found it in her heart to forgive me. I took her love for me for granted.

I made the mistake of telling her I was afraid of being able to provide for her as a husband and ended up leaving her. Because I wanted her to be with someone who could take care of her better than I ever could.

Throughout the entire time we were separated we were still in love and intimate with each other. She made plans to hang out with me one night and I wanted to have a serious talk about getting back together. Before she was about to come over she called and told me she was just going to have a few drinks with her sister for a few hours then come right over and hang out. She ended up getting completely wasted without any consideration of answering my calls and telling me what was going on. It wasn’t until after midnight I got a hold of her and she was trashed. I was so worried yet disappointed at the same time. So I decided to hold back on getting back together.

After a few months I told her that I wanted to give it another shot and work things out. I would do everything I could to make sure we could have the life she wanted. Even though it was just a few months of being separated she was unsure because she finally realized that she could do better. I knew she was dating other people but she promised me that she wouldn’t become intimate with anyone else while we were trying to work things out. I trusted her with all my heart and took her word for it.

While she was intimate with me and trying to repair our relationship I was trying really hard to get her to stop seeing other people. She ended up sleeping with someone else. Someone who was loaded with money and could make sure she would never have to work ever again. Someone who was everything I wasn’t. When I confronted her about it she denied it. I trusted her and loved her so much that I blindly accepted her for her word. Weeks later she finally she admitted it to me what happened then ended up breaking it off with him. Then we officially got back together.

I forgave her and blamed myself for what happened. I could have prevented all this damage if I just had the confidence in myself to stay with her. To work it out I had faith that our love for one another would prevail and even grow stronger in repairing our relationship. We’ve been back together for 3 months now but I can tell her heart is not in it like it used to be. It doesn’t feel the same like it used to. My love for her is stronger than ever. But it doesn’t feel mutual anymore. Now it feels like I’m putting all the effort in repairing our relationship than she is.

I commute to see her everyday. I’m always trying to make a difference with the little money I have in improving her yard, buying her flowers, and taking her to the movies. I drive over 45 minutes round trip even if its just to see her for only an hour at her work, and take her out to lunch. I take better care of her than I do myself. I put her before me always. While we only separated for a few months but we were still in love and intimate with each other, and she totally broke my heart. But my love for her is so great that I look pass it and am eager to move on.

Before I left her I could have asked her to marry me and she would have said yes. Now I can tell she isn’t ready. When in the beginning it was all she ever wanted. Now that I’m ready to make that commitment I fear that she realizes that I’m not the best choice for her and the kind of fu
I’m on the verge of losing the love of my life. I hurt the only person who ever truly understood me. I’ve found myself breaking down and crying 4-5 times a day for the last 3 months. I feel that I am good for nothing. I have nothing to show for. Nothing to be proud of. All I have around me are constant reminders of how much I have failed in life. If it wasn’t for my son and having hope that I can still work things out with my girlfriend I would’ve killed myself already.

I imagine how much better off everyone would be if I was dead. My son would be taken care of better and happy that I wasn’t there to be a dead beat loser that wasted his life accomplishing nothing. My girlfriend would finally be happy with someone that can give her everything she wants and not have to worry about me holding her back and bringing her down all the time.
future she wants. In just a few months of being separated it has completely damaged and forever changed her love for me.

She was the only person I could have imagined a future with. Never have I felt such a strong connection with someone in my entire life. All my life all I have done is let people down and fail everyone. I was never confident enough to make things better. I spent the last 10 years of my life just barely getting by because I was a coward. Now I’m almost 30 with absolutely nothing to show for but countless regrets and bitter disappointments in myself.
All I want to do is spend my free time with her on the days my son stays with his mom. I have absolutely no friends and nothing to look forward to but being with her. She has a lot of close friends that absolutely despise me for hurting her the way I did. I don’t blame them nor hold any grudge towards their feelings about me. I completely understand their feelings about me. I understand she wants time to hang out with them. But when she slept with that other guy she lied to me and told me she was at the bars with her friends that night.

I told her that she needs to start building my trust again before she can go out drinking with them. I wouldn’t care if they hang out but I don’t like the idea of her drinking. In the past every time she went out for "a few drinks" she has always proven to be unreliable. She never calls when she says she’s going to, and never comes home when she says she’s going to.
She makes it seem like I’m making her choose between her and her friends but all I’m asking is for her to be responsible and not to drink. It’s not impossible to enjoy yourself without a drinking. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I just want her to be reliable and show some interest in repairing my trust in her and our relationship.

Is our relationship damaged beyond repair? I feel like no matter how hard I try it is never good enough. It is so difficult because I love her with all my heart I don’t want to lose her again. But at the same time she doesn’t love me in the same way like she did.

I’m not into bars or drinking. I prefer to stay home or go out and do things that don’t require getting wasted. I am aware that I have serious self esteem issues with how I think I have accomplished nothing in life but disappointment in myself. I feel it’s too late for me to make a better life in the little time frame my girlfriend wants it. What can I do?

Thank you for reading this.

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