I was married for 10 years. I lived in Newton, Mass. I was the primary caregiver for my kids – for one year I was the stay at home parent and for the rest, my career was sacrificed so I could be home on time to cook, clean, bathe the kids, have them do their homework, get them to bed, do their laundry, pack their lunches, etc….. while the wife worked late at a big law firm, from which she was later fired. She started her own firm also in Newton and when business was starting to take off, she became very hostile and insulting, and constantly threatened divorce. I began to suffer from depression and sought treatment. Several months later she again threatened divorce – I’d come home from work and grocery shopping and her dishes from breakfast were still on the table – I held the baby in one arm while filling the fridge and then cleaning the table off with the other. She said I should use plastic bags for that instead of paper and so we should get a divorce – I said "OK fine let’s get a divorce."
The divorce was awful and she said and did everything she could to keep me from seeing the kids. Then we reached a settlement that delayed when she had to buy me out of the house, got a boyfriend and as long as he was around she wanted me to take the kids off her hands nearly every weekend. Since the divorce I’ve remained active with the kids, coaching their soccer teams (33-6-6 was our combined record), cooking, cleaning, doing their homework with them – everything I did before but also writing a check. She has dated an ex-con and then a night security guard. I’ve dated only sporadically and focused on the kids. We’ve had a great time, especially at my apartment in Winthrop, which has given them a regular beach vacation despite my low salary.
A while back I reconnected with an old friend. She has her MBA from a prestigious school and is 8 years younger than my ex. I’m moving in with her this weekend. She lives in NYC. She loves my kids and they love her. She is warm and kind and makes me happy and I make her happy. My youngest has met, and likes, her kids, and they like her.
My ex has never been happy, has spent the four years shacking up with quite a cast of characters, is now green with jealousy, and seeing red. She has gone to the police and lied about me to get me arrested and get a restraining order to keep me from any contact with the kids until a week after my start date in the new job – she knew when my start date was and this was deliberate. I’ve heard that the kids are upset that they haven’t seen me and that they will miss me but I cannot even talk to them to let them know it’ll be Ok.
I know I need a lawyer – I have one. What else can I do? My kids are 13, 10 and 5. What should I do? When will they be old enough to hear WHY this has gone down the way it has gone down?
Thank you.
