Though i bet most of you have already seen this, i wish to post it anyway for lawls, tell me what you think

* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave…….. without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves…

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. Thats the end of the sad story.

* GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell’s eternity.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.

* INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

* SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone’s screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she’s been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.

* CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to thank the protagonist he replies, "Sorry, but I don’t believe in having sex before marriage."

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footmen, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

* EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him. He gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny dork anyway.

* GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn’t get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won’t go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other grungers due to the over consumption of white cider.

* POP-PUNK
The dragon can’t eat the protagonist because he can’t catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won’t fuck him either, because he likes ska.
Avucular, what does that have to do with anything, and yes this has been around a while so you may have seen it already

Technorati Tags: axe, beers, belongings, Bet, black metal, Burns, carcass, death metal, doom metal, dragon, drinks, enchanted forest, escapes, gothic metal, guts, Harley, heavy metal, princess, protagonist, rapes, sad story, singing soprano, Skins, slashes, third time, Unicorn, violins, weird instruments

Here we go… the basics about me: I’m 22, My parents were divorced when I was 10 (my moms fault, my dad wasn’t enough for her, she wanted more excitement in her life) and my mom married a white trash, violent abusive drug addict. I lived with them for 4 years where I watched him physically abuse my mom, verbally and emotionally abuse her and listened to him rape her. (IE, listen to her screaming no and crying and him telling her that she had no choice.) I was afraid to leave her and my new little brothers (they sometimes disappeared for a couple days at a time and I was worried about my family.) I’ve been diagnosed bipolar (unmedicated now because the meds just made it worse), anxiety issues, have had suicidal issues and extremely low self esteem.

Let me say up front that I KNOW that none of that excuses what I have done and the pain that I’m about to cause others. I just wanted to give some background… I’m not looking to excuse myself, I just want the full picture here. So, please if you feel the need get it out of the way to tell me what you think of me, I’m completely positive you couldn’t think worse of me than I think of myself.

I liked a guy at work and when I found out he was married I was disappointed, as I thought he was attractive and funny. He is older, he is 41. I started hanging out with him and a few of his friends (we work night shift and we would go out of a few beers in the morning) and eventually it led to him and I getting together. That was 8 months ago and since then we have spent some of nearly every day together and I love him. And he loves me. I never meant to end up in a situation like this, and I admit I didn’t truly understand the extent of what I was doing.

He says he never thought he would feel like this again, and that even if he wanted to he doesn’t think it would be possible for him to stop seeing me. He has 2 grown kids, 20 and 18. I have no idea how he spends so much time with me and to be honest I never wanted to know.

He is starting to talk now about how somebody is going to get hurt no matter what, that either I will get hurt or (he trails off here, he has never once mentioned his wife) and that no matter what he is going to end up hurt. I started to realize, however, the true extent of what would happen. If he leaves her… He already has kids and doesn’t want more, someday I will. Even if he truly left her I’m not ready to commit forever and I’d feel like I had to because he gave up everything for me.

This is going to sound stupid but he is very controlling and possessive, which I don’t mind when we are together but I don’t want to spend my entire life being told what I can and can’t do, and I want to travel and do what I feel like doing. … I’m not ready to settle down. This should make it seem like the easiest situation possible to work out but I love him. I feel sick at the thought of never seeing him again, when he holds me I feel like I’ve never felt before.

I know people will say he is a daddy figure – but I’m not actually lacking that because I have a very good relationship with my father (who I moved in with when my house with my mom got to much). I have never been able to spend more than a day or two with someone without getting irritated with him and I have spent a weekend with him and I wanted more. I don’t want to be selfish but I can’t stop because I want him, I want to spend my life with him…

Without him… I have moved on so much in my life since he has been helping me, I’ve been terrified to enter the world because I was so afraid that people everywhere would hurt me. He helped me get my place, helps me stand up for myself. He has helped me to get the promotion at work that I was scared to do. I think of life without him and I start to have suicidal thoughts.

I hate myself for what I’m doing, for the people I’m hurting and for not being able to end it. I hate to think of my life without him. I realize the mess I’ve made of everything, and I can’t stop thinking the only thing to do is end it with him so he can salvage his family and kill myself to stop everything from hurting.

Technorati Tags: anxiety, beers, bipolar, couple days, dad, drug addict, excitement, extent, low self esteem, meds, mom, night shift, parents, Rape, Sordid Affair, trash, white trash

I just keep thinking about it and can’t sleep. I stay drunk all the time. I drank a 18 beers on an empty stomach just to sleep

Technorati Tags: amp, beers, Drunk, empty stomach, sleep

I have been with my husband now for almost 4 years. We just recently got married and it has been a little over 2 months. When I met him I did have a child from a previous relationship. After dating for 3 years we had a child of our own which is his first.He has always been a vivid drinker having to have at least 6 beers a night. Some nights it is more and then some nights it is less, if any at all (although those nights are rare). My husband was raised by his grandparents because his mom chose a man over her children and sent my husband and his older brother to live with her parents. He has alot of resentment and abandonment issues that stem from this. Also he has never met his biological father because his mother up until a couple months ago would even tell him who he was. She came out about 5 months ago and gave him a name and that was it. She said she didn’t know what town he lived in but she did have a stated, and she wanted him to know that his father did know about him before he was born. He has went thru very hard times growing up watching his granmother pass away, getting into the wrong crowd, doing hard drugs, drinking and partying. He has been in two wrecks that should have took his life becausehe was drunk. He totalled out both vehicles in those wrecks. One he was going about 90 mph and lost control and went off the road. The other he was going too fast lost control and ran off the road and broke his neck. i cant imagine how he survived either one, but i am very greatful he did. I met him about 6 months after he got his halo off (which was what they had to screw on his head when he broke his neck). I loved everything about him. He made me feel so important and so special, he accepted me having a child and loved my son to death, yet he did drink. As the years go by and i see how bad his drinking really is ive become to HATE alcohol. I have never been a big drinker nor have i done drugs so i dont see what it is about it that people just HAVE TO HAVE.. He could tell me time and time again i dont have money for this or i dont have money for that but there is ALWAYS beer in the refrigerator. When he drinks all his childhood emotions come out and it really intensafies his emotion that soon lead to anger. He overtalks me and will not listen to what i have to say becuase hes been through so much more than me in his life and i just dont understand and will never really understand him. Ive threatend to leave in the past but never done it. Im to the point now where i dont know what to do. I am 25 years old and i get advice from my mother becuase i look up to her and respect what she says, but i dont know if she is just telling me he will never change becuase she doesnt care for him? or what.. I was a only child so i know by all means i was not perfect in the releationship either. I see myself as a good mother, a loyal wife, churchgoer, i have a job that i have had for the past 4 years*doesnt pay that well*but it is a job. Some women think the man can jsut work and support them but i acually go to work everyday so that we can have extra money for the extra things we want or need. I just feel like i am stuck here trying to change him and he isnt going to change and im wasting my time… Yes i see what is happening maybe i dont want to believe it but i do. I love him so much and want nothing more than our family to work and us raise our kids but with him not respecting my wishes on him to stop drinking then that shows me he doesnt care. Everything is my fault…i dont understnad him, i cant relate to him, i will never be able to provide for our family like he can. These are just some of the things i get on a daily basis.He gives me excuses as to why he is drinking.. well some friends came over we are watching this ppv fight, you let me drink 2 beers the other night whats wrong with it now…. this is what he says to me.. Well now i see that me condoning him drinking those two beers was really not the right thing to do becuase it gets put in my face now, so im to the point NO BEER AT ALL and have your family together…. or keep drinking but im going to find someone that iwll love and respect me the way i know i deserve to be respected. Sorry for rambling on guys i just really need some elder advice. This isnt everything in our life but it touches on alot of things. It is humiliating to have only been married 2 months and it is coming to this. I have tried praying at church, spending quality time with him and the kids, tell him he is doing a good job on not drinking as much, ive read 2 books on the inner life of a man and how they feel and what i can do differently, ive called a counsoler, ive signed up for daily emails on how to save our marriage, ive tried to talk to him and i have told him what he can do to change, i have asked him to do the same for me yet he refuses. When he tells me hes done all he can do the only thing that comes to mind is he has started attending a recovery group*yet he is still drink
Sorry it didnt take my whole message here is where it left off….*yet he is still drinking*, he tells me he provides a home for our family, he tells me he plays with his kids, but you dont hear naything about ME in there… nothing about ive done this and done that to make our relationship better. Hes told me several time that paying child support would be ten times better than being with me. A week after we got married he told me he has felt the erge to leave but he hasnt because of the kids becuase he didnt want to be away from them… Is there anything more I can do to help save our marriage or should i just let it go here and stop holding onto something that is not there…? All advice is welcome good or bad… Please Help!!!

Technorati Tags: 3 years, 5 months, abandonment issues, alcohol, beers, biological father, brother, crowd, drinker, grandparents, granmother, halo, hard drugs, mom, parents, relationship, resentment, wrecks