My fiance and I have been dating for 3 years. I love her more than life, and asked to her marry me last Sept., she replied Yes and I was so happy. I thought we had the perfect relationship, we rarely even argued, and we were both very affectionate with each other. 2 weeks ago, OUT OF THE BLUE, she decided that " she can’t do this anymore, and she needs to find herself, she said that our relationship wasn’t a good fit, and that it is over. Needless to say, I thought I was having a bad dream and to this day I am still sick to my stomach, I have lost 15 lbs and haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 2 weeks. I love her more than anything and miss her so much, She emailed me a few times, but the emails were very cold and distant, NOT THE PERSON I KNEW, she told me that there was no other guy, but that she needs time for herself and wants to continue as the best of friends. She said that we can meet for dinner ina few weeks. I AM SO UPSET, What do I do? I miss her and want her back
She said that she wants me to be her male best friend, and that we have a close friendship. I don’t want a close friendship, I want an intimate relationship with her.
Does being friends, ever lead back into a relationship?
I wanted to get opinions on this. I read this article..
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=151186
…which is v useful. Applying it my situation is confusing. My ex and I were together for 2 yrs & lived together. I instigated the break-up but took 2 months to actually do it, by which time my ex wanted to break too so it turned out to be mutual.
She seemed way cooler than me about it and wanted to be friends, I did too but soon realized I wanted her back. We kept in touch for 4 months, with an equal balance of contacting each other. I asked for her back twice though, she said we need time apart & see what happens, she couldn’t make any promises & said I should move on. I started to find the friendship painful so I asked for 1 month NC which she was cool about. Once NC started I deleted her from facebook.
I called her after 6 weeks NC and she was angry about facebook, I apologized for not warning her beforehand but at the end of the conversation she told me (viciously) to never send her another friend request as she’ll ignore it. I was surprised because it was the 1st time she’d lost her cool since the break up. I e-mailed her the day after to say her comment was unnecessary and if she meant f*** you then fair enough I’ll leave her alone, I also wrote that its hard being friends with her as she puts up such a front (& makes frequent sarcastic digs at me) that I don’t recognize her anymore. That was 3 weeks ago and she never replied.
It’s been 7 months since we broke up now. Sounds like she feels like the injured party….I’ve written a letter apologizing for how I’ve behaved since the break-up (i.e. being friends just to try and win her back), and to say I hope we’ll be friends some day, and to wish her happiness whatever path her future takes. I feel bad because everything was on good terms and we are both nice people, but our last conversation & my e-mail response was quite nasty and I feel like clearing the air.
Not sure whether to send it or not though, trouble is I’m still healing & not ready to be friends. I’ll see her in 5 months at a mutual friends event. Will I do more damage by sending it, or by leaving her alone (I’ve no idea whether she hates me or not now)?

Related Information:
An ex-girlfriend of mine who cheated on me and cleaned me out a few years back has started employment at my job the past 6 months (She’s in her mid 20′s…I’m 2 years younger than her and thought I was in love). She has taken it upon herself to gloat to others about stealing over 0 dollars cash from me, taken all my cd’s (some 200 CD’s), laptop, and one of the very first mp3 players that came out. Basically over 4 grand in items.
When she started work, she was rubbing it in my face (she is very snobby in person, and has many preppy friends who drive brand new SUV’s and high-end cars. She also has many "tough guy athletic jock" guy friends who like to push other people around). I was willing to let bygones be bygones and move on. She hit the wrong buttons with me. This is at an medium sized lending institution. The job I have is my dream job. She also wants a career in this field.
She can’t afford to leave this job (base salary is 41,500 a year with raises for good performance). No other places in town offer this pay, and her only alternative is McDonalds. She has stated to a female co-worker that only death will keep her from working here…she "enjoys" messing with me and needs the good pay to help her ailing mother.
In addition to making me the laughing stock of my workplace, she is VERY RUDE to me. I’ve done a few retaliatory things to make her life a living hell. The boss and I are personal friends. Our agreement is I pay him 0 a week (money talks and so does being friends with the boss) to make her life at work a living hell. He’s written her up, made her do all the hard work, and even allowed others to stay clocked in for lunch while she clocks out. This is effective since she doesn’t plan on quitting for nothing, so revenge can be exacted in a daily fashion and I won’t have to worry about her leaving one day. I get my money’s worth.
At our monthly meeting, he gave certificates for outstanding performance. I got two certificates, and she got a janitor of the day certificate (handed to her in front of everyone else). The boss told the Janitor that he was HER boss for the day…and he got to sit at her desk the whole day! Most of the employees (excluding her female co-worker friends) were laughing. It’s escalated to a 2 side battle. Mostly glares from her friends to my friends and vice versa.
She was instructed to clean everything, including the restrooms. One of my buddies accidentally dropped feces covered toilet paper on the floor and smeared some feces on the wall and toilet seat. We all urinated on the floor and she had to mop it up. I dropped snot tissues and other trash next to my cubicle and she had to pick them up! She ended up crying that day because the boss yelled at her about refusing to wipe the feces off the wall.
My car was keyed BADLY after her janitor of the day job. Word got around that she knew I helped to arrange that. Me and my buddies went to her house one night after my car was keyed, and jacked her car (A 2006 Acura which was fully paid for and only liability insured) up on jack stands. We drained the oil out of the oil pan, and placed a pornographic picture of an 80 year old granny with her head pasted on the picture with a "this is war" notation on her windshield.
She was late to work the next day by 3 hours. After the boss and I talked, I told him NOT to fire her but to let my buddies and I leave 3 hours early, and she had to stay until 8 PM to make up for her tardiness. We got off at 2 PM but got paid for the remaining 3 hours…she was also aware of this fact. I was informed that she had a breakdown at work and threatened severe violence upon me. The boss wrote her up and I made a police report with his full support.
If she screws up again, she’s fired. She came up to me a week later in tears after she had a performance deficiency meeting with the boss. She said she didn’t understand why I was doing all this to her. She said the following things: she was out a car and has to buy a clunker, she’s lost weight and can’t keep food down due to the stress at work, people around town call her slut and disrespect her, if she lost this job her mom would loose her house and her mom refuses to leave town, she refuses to work at McDonald’s because to her McDonalds workers are peons. Basically she was giving me the sob story. She then stated that she will get me some way some how for all this. After I told her the stuff she did to me, she stated "I’m a girl, your supposed to keep your mouth shut and take all this like a man…if you don’t then you are a womanizer and an abuser." I told her an eye for an eye. She scoffed and walked away, saying I had no morals.
I’ve so far made redemption for all the things I got stolen from me. Her life is very unenjoyable right now. Someone also took it upon themselves to gain access to her personal information. They’ve opened up 3 credit cards in her name and plan on giving those cards to people for a small sum of cash so they can get gas at the pump or make online purchases, used her bank account to open up several online payday loans, and also used her bank account to purchase a layaway agreement with Blue Hippo (online computer layaway program for people with bad credit…her purchase was a 0 dollar downpayment on an overpriced rent to own desktop). She has blamed me for a considerable sum of money missing from her bank account. I had nothing to do with it.
The background on this entire situation is my willingness to turn the other cheek. She has constantly attacked me and I have finally fought back. When she used bullets, I used .50 ML tank rounds. When she used cruise missles, I used nukes. Everything she did, I did back tenfold.
I have in my possession, several bottles of: vomit fluid (induces vomiting and causes "violent projectile vomit" like a kid vomits when he is sick), and the evacuator (causes bowels to loosen and suddenly purge with no control over the muscle). I tested the green gas bottle on myself and it does work (it causes uncontrollable farting). http://www.spymall.com/catalog/revenge.htm
Go to that link if you also want revenge at a somewhat hefty sum of cash. My question is, could this be the nuke that causes her to finally admit defeat and leave town. I plan on the vomit fluid one day, and the evacuator fluid the next. I’ve informed my boss of the plan, and he will distract her from her cubicle with the lure of a good performance report meeting. After this, I will concede from this battle and still be on heightened alert incase she plans another attack.
To anyone who feels it prudent to use someone, then cheat on them, then steal from them, and think that’s acceptable; you have another thing coming. She had some nerve to say I’m being a jerk and unreasonable. She also has some nerve thinking she didn’t do anything wrong, and I should’ve let her do all this just because she is a girl?! Overall, I feel very satisfied.
Due to the stress at work and everything happening, her and her fiancee broke up (she blames me) because of her crazy enemies and him not wanting to deal with the drama. She most likely has ruined credit when the bills for those 3 cards go unpaid within a few months. She may owe hundreds or thousands of dollars. She is also out 0 to Blue Hippo Funding.
Remember, you can either take it and let someone run your life. Or you can take charge of your own life and make them run away defeated. Did I do a good job or what?
Thanks very much for the candid responses. My intentions are not to harm her physically (that would land me in hot water), but harming her emotionally is my goal. The liquid vials I plan on using WONT have long term effects. For 10 to 12 bucks a dose, they do work good.
Fight fire with fire is what I do best.
What my boss and I did isn’t illegal or against company policy in the sense that no sexual harassment took place. Everything was within company policy because she has performance deficiencies. She is reprimanded or punished as such. The best part is my boss is allowing me to be open and candid about her work performance. I even have say in what happens.
I have my finger pressed on the big red button. If I press the button, she’s fired. I can tell him to fire her, and he will find one little reason to fire her, and poof she’s gone.
It costs me 100 dollars a week, and he needs the money. I need the firepower that he commands. So we have a good agreement, with great results!

Related Information:
So my ex-girlfriend of 4 years called me today wanting me to meet up with her tonight so we can talk (public place). I have a feeling that she wants to get back together.
She broke up with me on Wednesday and the reason being that she feels like being friends rather than bf/gf. This devastated me as it came from nowhere with no signs of any problems. She kept using the terms ‘break’ and ‘break-up’ interchangeably. She said she still cares for me and loves me as a friend. Also that she has felt like this for a couple months.
I’m wanting to believe that the reason was that she just wanted a break for a while. Troubles with school, recent family death, and stress from everything else. But I could have given her time apart so she can relax without even having to have a ‘break’.
I’m getting over it rather quickly, but it still hits me at night. For the 4 years that we have spent together, we talked on the phone almost every single night. I’m not sure if I still love her though. I told people that and myself that I don’t want to be with a person doesn’t want to be with me.
Our relationship before wasn’t bad at all. In the beginning, things were rocky, but as time passed we rarely fought. Yes there would be the occasional argument about tiny things now and then, but over all things seemed like they were going great.
So I’m not sure what to do, and I’m meeting up with her in an hour

Related Information:
My bf of 3 years broke up in the beginning of January. And it ended badly after I told him that him keeping me from being friends with a guy who I only saw as a friend and nothing more was not right. He snapped and yelled "Get the fuck out of here! I never wanna see you again!!" with the look in his eye that said I could hit your right now. Then slammed the door right behind me. The only time I’ve cried was the drive home after he threw me out but since then I have yet to shed a single tear and moved on with my life pretty quickly even after my ex tried so hard to get back with me for a month after that. Well it’s been three months and I’ve met quite a few guys since then and they fall really fast for me for some reason and I have no clue why. They’re all really nice guys but I honestly just don’t see them to be more than friends. They continue to try to pursue me and that just gets me to to pull away even more and then start thinking about my ex and miss him because I can’t find a connection at all with these nice guys the way I had with my ex. I hate that I start missing him though because of how it ended and how angry he got and a bit of controlling/jealous he was in our whole relationship. Right now though I honestly don’t want a relationship for awhile and just want to be surrounded by my friends but its really hard to get that through these nice guys and I feel bad because the last thing I want is for them to get there hopes up. So yea for all those who have been in long relationships is it normal for you to start missing your ex even if they’ve put you through a lot? Sorry for the length! I appreciate all the answers!!!



