I love him he doesn’t love me yet how do I cope?

I asked this earlier but all I got were joke answers. Long story short, i’m in a committed relationship with a man who treats me amazingly and is always looking out for my best interest. He says he sees a future with us and he is very committed to the relationship. a few months ago i told him i loved him and didn’t get the same back. Fast forward a few months and it still stings a lot.

I know he cares very much and it just takes him longer to develop those feelings but how can i deal with it better? “enjoying what we have now” isn’t exactly as easy as it sounds because sometimes it hurts A LOT.

Any advice from people who have been through the same would be great. suggesting hes cheating is ridiculous, we work in the same office and I’m with him nearly every single night, he doesn’t even have the time for something like that.


Related Information:

What do you do when you find out that your ex-wife?

was cheating on you 5 years before during separation, then shes moves back in, 3 months of counseling, she moves out again…says she will get into counseling for 9 months and doesn’t, pushes for a divorce but kept up the relationship for with me for 2 years after the divorce (I know it sounds crazy) all during while I was trying to reconcile, us being together with our son the whole time in two different homes, leading me to think that there was a possibility of reconciling, then cuts it all off abruptlty swearing there is no one else…then I find out the whole time she was with me she was seeing another guy and now she is marrying him this summer…and trying to move my son 2 hours away from me…also finding out that a dear friend of 20 years knew about it the other guy and never said anything to me during the affair…how am I supposed to be supportive of my son – getting to know this guy – he doesn’t like him and he was instrumental in tearing our family apart? all this truth…
comes out now…I end up paying attorneys after she tried for custody twice last year…hiding the guy…after the second attempt he comes out of the woodwork..and in the last few weeks I find out she was covertly being with this guy on a regular basis claiming confusion, and we can get remarried, annouces it publicly one year after the divorce…knowing how I felt about her and family, knowing she had no intention and I kept her alive going through almost K…stopping her from gettinf evicted…not knowing she was seeing this guy at the same time…helping her…and then she lieds in court to try to take my son away from me becasue she knew the marriage was coming down the pipe…how does one NOT get angry…how does one keep cool about all of this…fgor the best interest of my son whom I love very much and care for and now he is being thrown into this den of liars and home wreckers…low morals…and this new guy has alot of money…on top…she abducted our son 6 years ago.
Being mental as it was stated was an attempt to keep our family together with a woman who experienced 911 personally and went off the deep end…missed her home country and her family and ran with our son…I always believed that this affected her very deeply…but then I find out I was wrong and 911 had nothing to do with the abduction…she lept me believing alot of things that I had no idea was going on…I was trying to get her help…so does one just give up on a family in shreads or try to find a way to keep it togehter…and if so…how long does it take to put a family back into balance (Just a Thought)
For over two years on many weekends she would drop my son off with me gladly to take care of him and then go off to "be with our friend" and all along meeting up with this other guy…then would come stay with me for 3 or 4 days…then create a fight…two days later…back to me..me at her place…her at my place…all three of us together…that was my focus…my therapist told me "she is zig zagging…trying to find her way back to you…she will sned you through heL& but you will have to take what ever she throws at you if you really want to win her back…ALL along…her knowing she was never coming back but using me to stay alive.
and now she is taking my son to all the things that we used to go…all the fun spots we all visitied…restaurants, game plexes…movie theatres…parks…and he lives 2 hours away…staying over at her place duruing the weekends while my son is there…my son cant stand the guy…so he says repeatedly…but now every week for 3 months she hits me with something new about my son…accusing me of alienating him from her and her future husband…and my son says I don’t say anything bad about her or him…I have asked to meet him…she denied ot for weeks…then agreed…the day before the meeting…she calls it off…I want to meet his guy…my son wants to live with me…he doesn’t want to move away from me or his friends…she doesn’t have to move…nothing about a job…so he should have to cimmute if he cares for my son not taking him away from me…I live 5 minutes away from him and we spoend alot of time together…I am in the 5% category who sees their kids alot…why must she do


Related Information:

What is the best way to go about resolving a situation with my ex-husband over my son?

Last year, I requested that the state review my ex’s income to see if my son was eligible for an increase in child support. I had not asked for a review in 9 years. He had a huge increase in income in those 9 yrs. so the state increased his child support. He was furious and since then, has been doing whatever possible to get back at me. He only sees my son about every 3-5 months, and on both visitations he has exercised since then, he has refused to bring my son back home, refused to meet me halfway, refused to allow me to pick him up early, and even refused to take him to the airport (15-20 mintutes away from his house). This meant that I had to drive over 6 hours to pick my son up at 6:00 pm, and he didn’t get back home until 1:00 am both times, and had to get up at 6:00 am to go to school. My ex isn’t concerned with doing this to my son at all. It is all about getting back at me. I spoke to a lawyer, who suggested that I write my ex a certified letter, before taking it to court.
This lawyer actually said that if he were me, he would refuse to allow my ex to pick my son up, unless he agreed to do what was right for my son and either bring him home at a decent hour, or agree to meet me halfway. He wants me to at least try to write a letter first, informing him of exactly what he is doing to our son, and then if my ex refuses to listen to reason, then I could take it to court.

What should I say in this letter, to make it to the point, and not about what I want or what my ex wants, but more about what is in my sons best interest?
Just to point out: My ex has visitation rights every other weekend, every spring break, every summer, every other thanksgiving, and a week at christmas. HE chooses not to exercise those. I have tried to encourage him to exercise more visitations. He makes excuses why he can’t. I have suggested that he call my son more often than 3-4 times a year. He still won’t. I have asked him to stop leaving our son with family members for most of his visitations that he does exercise. He gives me nothing but excuses. I am not the cause of my ex not seeing my son more often. He does that all on his own.
The reason I am trying to resolve this, is because I have had to watch my son, who by the way is 11, cry when I have gotten him up for school, when he has only gotten 5 hours of sleep. That is what is not fair. His "revenge" against me over the child support, is hurting my son. I am more than willing to meet him halfway, but he is refusing out of nothing more than spite. My son has complained numerous times about how my ex treats him, but there isn’t anything that I would be able to call CPS about.


Related Information:

How can I just get over the things about my husband that bug me? He’s a man and he’s not going to change!?

I need some advice. How do you just accept someone for who they are? I am so frustrated because my husband doesn’t evolve. We’ve been married for two years, and he’s still exactly the same as when we got married. I do things to cater to him now that I didn’t do when we first got together, but he doesn’t cater to me at all.

I’ve conformed a little in the best interest of this relationship; he is resistant to conform at all.

How do I let that go?

How do I just accept that my husband is never going to listen to my advice so there’s no point in voicing it, because he’s always right even when he’s wrong. Today, he didn’t listen to me again and he was wrong again…and I didn’t even bother saying "I told you so" because that does no good! What would’ve done good would’ve been if he’d LISTENED TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!

How do I just let that go?

I constantly see the "little things" that my husband could have done for me, that I would’ve done for him had the roles been reversed.

Today he drove his motorcycle to my office and borrowed my car to run an errand. When he brought the car back, he could have thoughtfully parked it right in front of my office in a metered parking space, but instead he parked it three blocks away where his motorcycle was parked in the parking garage.

This is not a big deal, but I know that if the roles were reversed, I would’ve parked right in front of his workplace, walked the three blocks to the motorcycle and then called him with the sweet surprise that he doesn’t have to walk the three blocks to the parking garage after he gets off work.

Why is it that I can think of thoughtful little things like this to show him that I love him but he can’t!?! And because he’s a man, he’s never going to change into someone that is as thoughtful as I am, so how do I just let that go???

HOW DO I JUST ACCEPT HIM FOR THE STUBBORN, SELFISH AND THOUGHTLESS PERSON THAT HE IS AND LET IT GO!?!?

I’m tired of being frustrated with him! I just need to know how to stop thinking of ways that he could be a better husband and just let it go because he’s not going to change and I’m tired of being frustrated all the time!!!!


Related Information: