I know this is ultimately my decision but I would like to see what others think or what they would do in this situation. My husband and I have been married for almost 2 years, together for 6 years (both of us are 26y/o) Throughout our relationship there have been a number of unexplained instances where he’s been online chatting to other women or texting his ex.

He was always hiding his phone & had it on vibe. We even changed his number a couple of times. About 3 years into our relationship we decided to buy a house together to quit wasting money on rent in an apartment. Barely one month after moving into the house i find he had been talking to his ex and even texted some pics of himself (if you know what i mean) to her. I was scared to leave because we had just got this house together so we went to counseling to try and figure things out.

I had started to trust him again and we got married a year later. (yah i know, stupid on my part) We started having issues again, plain old fashioned marriage issues, so we went to another counselor. While there I had brought up what he’d done in the past so everything was out in the open. I thought things were going well, even though there was still some tension between us.

Well in October of last year he had left his email open (an email that i didn’t know he had) and there was an email from one girl saying that she missed him and such blah blah blah. it was dated while we were seeing our second counselor.

The other email was from a different girl that had sent half naked pictures of herself dated July of last year. In June of last year we had started the “family talk”. I just don’t know how any of this makes sense. A little under 2 months before i found those emails, we had really started to distance from each other. It seemed no matter how hard i tried he didn’t want to come to bed, do things around the house, nothing. So when he said he was changing his days off at work so we no longer had one day off together, i just gave up.

I started talking to his best friend. It really was just pure innocent chatting, someone to talk to. After that and the finding of the emails, we separated. We’ve been separated for almost 6 months now and divorce papers filed and a courts appointment the end of April.

This past week I have been thinking a lot about it all and have started missing him. I have been fine without him around for 6 months now but when i think of that court date and us divorcing it brings me to tears. i just don’t want to see this happening in another couple of years. How long do you put up with something before its just to much? I look at all we have together and want it to be ok, but will it ever be ok? Anyone who’s been thru this or going thru this please give me your input or how you dealt. I just don’t trust my own judgment anymore. Thank you for reading all of this, i tried to shorten it a bit.

The first 3 months of separation he tried a lot to “get me back”. said i could quit my job and not have to work, he would do anything to make it work, obsessively called my mom and our friends to talk about us. The night i told him i wanted out he flipped out screaming and crying & my mom ended up calling the sheriffs dept just in case.

He’s left me alone since February minus a few calls to figure divorce stuff out. He actually had me served because i was taking to long to do it but its “what you want” he said.

 


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The 7:44am alarm goes off in a completely darkened bedroom and is allowed to beep for 1 full minute. Slowly a hand come out from under the covers and reaches for the TV remote, aims and shoots to bring some human voices or some other reason into the room to wake him up. He hears the sounds from that familiar show that usually airs this time of day but it’s still not enough to bring him out of what seemed like only 8 minutes of what was supposed to have been a 2 hour nap. A smile comes over his face as he remembers that e-mail that he’d sent to some chick that he spotted online in an Astrology forum the night before. He wondered if she had replied. She’s a Capricorn sun with Aries rising and he’s Aries with Capricorn rising. He thought that might be something worth exploring…although he was a little bit leery of her Leo Moon. He’d never gotten along with Leos Sun signs, for some reason. His X has Leo rising… but he was curious to see how that Leo Moon would operate. Then he thought to himself, "Curiosity killed the cat" and laughed out loud…

Suddenly he hears a different voice on the TV announcing, "We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for a Special News Report". He listens for a moment, but hesitates to engage himself. These "special news brief" are usually nothing more than an update about the weather or a 20 car pile up somewhere in east Jabip…but he keeps an ear open, just in case it happens to be another 9/11 alert. He hears the announcer say something about::: the recent economic conditions, blah, blah, blah…:::the automobile industry, blah, blah…bankruptcy, blah, blah. Then the announcer mentions the name of the competitor company that he works for. They’re laying off over 2000 workers, shutting down some operations and freezing salaries. That definitely gets his attention, but he’s relieved when the broadcast ends without mentioning the company that he’s working for.

He’s quite awake now, so he decides to get out of bed and check the PC, which he left running while napping, because it takes forever to restart if not. He goes straight to his inbox and notices that he has 1 new message. Sure enough, it’s from that Capricorn chick. He quickly opens and reads, but is somewhat deflated by her polite but rather lukewarm reply. He mumbles something under his breath about chicks and Capricorn and crap and goes in to take his 8 minute shower at exactly 8:00 am. While in the shower, he keeps thinking about this Cappy chick. Although her reply was not that great, it seemed friendly. After all, he had only asked her a very general Astrology question. She didn’t have to reply at all. So he thinks outloud, (to himself), "Maybe I’ll send her another e-mail, tell her about my Aries Sun/Cap rising and see what she thinks of that?" "Yeah, that’s what I’ll do!"

He abruptly ends his shower in 7 minutes and hurries back to the PC, toweling off along the way. He logs back in to her message and clicks, "Reply". He quickly types out his thoughts about their Sun/rising situation and asks her what she thinks…and presses "Send". He sits there for a few moments looking at the monitor, as if to get an instant reply and realizes that he’s sitting there in a towel and the clock is still ticking. He continues on to shave, get dressed and leaves the apartment at 8:45 pm…leaving only 15 minutes for his 20 minute drive to work. He stopped by his mailbox to retrieve his mail. There were some junk advertisements, the water bill, a notice from his apartment rental office and a letter from his ex’s lawyer.

He jumps into his recently purchased gas guzzling but very well equipped SUV. He was able to get a really good deal on it and paid cash for it because of the rising gas prices and slow sales. Even though it was drinking its own weight in .00 a gallon fuel, he didn’t have a monthly note, so he figured that canceled things out. Speaking of which, it was very low on fuel so he decided to stop by for a quickie on the way to work. Realizing that he was low on funds and payday was still 2 weeks away, he decided to put in only a quarter of a tank. He could make it back and forth to work – ONLY if he budgeted his speed and any other unnecessary trips and such.

He arrived at work 5 minutes late, as usual. Nothing was ever said about that because he usually stayed 30 to 45 minutes after closing, without ever getting paid. He pulled up to his work station, parked and walked over to the main office building to greet his co-workers and put his microwavable dinner in the company frige. He’d pass through the front office and greet all the guys and gals at the counter. He’d always get a very warm and hearty greeting back. Everyone loved Charlie, he was so funny and nice…even if he was having a bad day. Charlie didn’t know most of their names. These were mostly young manager trainees who were promoted and shipped out every 4 months. By the time you got to really kn
By the time you got to really know one of them they’d be replace with another new face. There were a few that stood out but for the most part, they were just co-workers.

Then he’d make his way towards the kitchen area, passing through the inner office and he’d speak to everyone there. He’d always say a special "Hi Flo!" to this one employee named Florence…and she’d cheerfully respond, "Hi Charlie!", most times without ever looking up from her work. On his way back through her area, he’d say "Bye Flo!" and she’d say, "Bye Charlie!" He and Flo had worked there the longest and knew each other better than the rest. They shared a lot of personal things in common and knew things about each others families. She was very attractive and extremely friendly, pure and sweet and had a great sense of humor. She’s the kind of girl that you’d want to marry or clone for all of your close male friends and relatives to marry. Unfortunately for all the guys she was already very happily married
But the thing that Charlie liked most about her was her voice…and the way she said his name…which is why she was the only one he greeted by name, just to hear her say his name.

On this particular day, there was something different in her reply…her voice was heavy. She turned and looked at him and said, "Hi Charlie". He could see that her eyes were cloudy and her posture was slightly droopy. Their simple greeting was usually the extent of their conversation for the entire day but this was not usual for her or him. He wanted to ask her if everything was okay, but didn’t want to call any undue attention to her. Charlie went in to deposit his lunch in the freezer and got 2 bottles of water to take back to his office. When he came back through the inner office, Flo wasn’t at her desk. That wasn’t a big deal, but it wasn’t a little one either…after her response. Charlie shrugged it off and made his way back to his work station but tried to justify Flo’s actions in his mind.
She was known for being very emotional. He remembers how she teared up when she told him that she and her husband were getting a new house…and how one day, she left for lunch upset with a customer over the phone and said that she was never coming back. He was just hoping that it wasn’t anything seriously wrong.

When he arrived at his work station, Flo was there with a very heavy message for Charlie. …

Do you think it’s any good, so far?
Thank you all for your very helpful and constructive criticism. It’s my first attempt, so I’m extremely green, as you can see. It will be a very long story when finished. I just wanted to see if I had enough to make anyone want to continue reading.



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Currently, I have 1 and 1/2 days with my two children, so I filed a motion with the court to increase my parenting time. The judge sent us to mediation. After talking with the mediator for 2 and a half hours, he sent a report to the court recommending I increase my parenting time to 3 1 /5 days (so about half) with my children. He even ended up calling my ex a drama queen and she needs to stop. As well as using derogatory remarks against me on public forums with her friends, which he included on his report.

Naturally, my ex is not agreeing to this. She thinks I should have hardly anytime with our children because "they are always crying to here about how much they hate it over here" and blah blah blah.
Well I don’t see this. In fact, when I see my kids they run to me with big hugs and smiles. We play games and spend quality time together (which to me, 1 and a half day is just not enough, I love my kids) They don’t seem at all intimidated. Sure, they get in trouble and get restriction and are given healthy food at dinner and not have a over abundance of junk food. They are expected to clean their rooms and help with chores around the house. But heck, what kid wouldn’t complain about that? I did when I was a kid. Are these the things our kids are crying about to their mother when they go back to her house? Are they being quized so she can make remarks about me on puplic forums about how much of a jerk I am? I wonder.

All I want to be is a father and have more time with my kids so that I can be a part of their growng up. I do not go about complaining about my ex on public forums (I do go to counseling to do that)

So my question is, can she actually prevent me from getting my increase even though we have a mediators report? I do everything I am supposed to be doing, I house them, feed them, clothe them, make sure they do weel in school, go to school events, and spend time with them. Her only complaint is what she and the kids talk about me. Which I think she should not be doing because she is not a tir party to this. She has a lot of hostility towards me and of course if the kids bring up one thing, she can repond to them making it ten times worse.



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My ex broke up with me a few months ago and she told me she just wanted to be independent when she went away for school for a few months. I let go and told her I would not stand in her way of anything. We are still friends and talk quite a bit. After some struggle on her part to get back in my life, I wanted to be left alone and needed space and time to heal from the break up but she contacted me constantly and said she still needed me in her life. This I felt was selfish on her part and I told her that and she said she is still to close to me to let me go that we still have a lot of personal connection between us. I agree but its not on the level I want. So we talk but it’s just bs talk, how are you? whats new? blah blah blah. She is always asking me to come and visit her. She lives a few hours away.

I love her very much still and would like to be with her again but now is just not the right time. I think she may be starting to see someone else which really doesn’t bother me all that much as they are long distance and it could just be a rebound thing for her. This guy is a lot older and kind of a player from what I hear. So this doesn’t really bother me all that much.

My question is what is the best way to go about getting her back. I have many things to no avail. Staying away and not talking to her drives her insane and she just calls me or texts me till I talk to her and I feel like going the friends route may not me any good either. As a friend I need to remain selfless and be happy for her in whatever she does and as I try I can do it but not just yet. It still sucks not talking to her on the same level we used to.

So does anybody have any tips that could help either way? I am carrying on with my life and doing new things for me and meeting and hanging out with new people, she supports me but constantly asks me who I have been with and if I am seeing anybody in round about ways. Are communication feels so false and I do not like that and I know we are both hiding something as we dance around it all the time.

So what should I do?

Please don’t tell me to move on or she is my ex for a reason. I am not interested in that banter!


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i have been the shoulders for many people during there breakups i cannot believe one day this will happen to me. my ex and i had been together for almost three years. from the get go i knew we are too different but he convinced me that he wasn’t what i and his friends thought he was. we dated and moved in together. fights started a few months later about insensitivities and inconsiderations. but we managed to talked through them and figured out ways to try to avoid feelings being hurt and etc. long story short, we got a house together beginning of the year. at the same time i also quit my well paying job to school full time. we agreed that he will take care of the finance until i get my degree which is summer next year. things started going down hill after that. he started going out and do things without me. we hardly talked. last week labor weekend he broke up with me claiming that he couldn’t be himself when he is with. my problem is what is himself. i was an open book when i got with him. he on the other hand put on a mask and toward the end the mask fell off. he demands time to himself and his friends. he thinks my demand to be treated a little better than his friends is unreasonable and blah blah blah. i was stunned. he dismissed me just like that. he asked me to make a list of things i will take and a date of when i am going to be moving out. i asked him what about all the decisions that we made together that ultimately alters my life. he left me without job, income, and place to live. well to be fair he said that if i need money go get a job and i do have a roof at my mom’s. at the worst possible point of the relationship he was calm and collective. he asks me to sign over the deed of the house. i almost did but my family came to my rescue. they take me in and help me see what a piece of work he is. besides the legality of property and such…almost three year relationship is hard to get over. anyone has any advice? i read bunch of stuff online about pampering myself and such but i have no money to do so. anyone know of any group or association that i could join and get my mind off of things. i am at the point of going to depression but i am so close to getting my degree. i hate to waste all the efforts that i put into it but it is so hard to study and enjoy my year of internship…please help!!!!!!!!!


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