Some legal questions, not looking for a "legal" answers, just some "experienced" based ones?

I know I shouldn’t rely on this forum as the exact answers to legal questions, and I’m not, but just had a few quick questions as this is a rather new event that has happened to me (last week).
Short story – got a mediation meeting request for a child custody issue from my ex. Haven’t seen her in 3+ years. She was pregnant, and put the child up for adoption (to her sister and her husband because they couldn’t have kids). She said she was going to put it up for adoption, but I have not seen anything, or heard from her that she did, so I can only go by what she told me, told her I didn’t know how she could put the child up for adoption without BOTH parents consent. I tried conversing with her about me paying child support after a blood test was done to prove the child was mine, and she went off the deep end, and started using the adoption card. I have no problems, nor have I ever had child support issues, but AFTER a blood test was done to prove I was the father, she was totally abusive to me verbally after I wanted that done, but here are a few ??’s I have.

A – How can one parent put up a child for adoption without BOTH parents consent? The only way I can see this happening (if it did) is she put “father unknown” on birth certificate. She did not want me to have anything to do with the child as I was requesting a blood test be done before I would submit to paying child support. She refused my trying to reason with her, as she said I was a horrible father. I’ve been a single parent to my daughter for 11+ years now, but she said I was a terrible father, and she would not authorize me to see the child, but she wanted me to pay child support without a blood test

B – Also, on the website, I noticed the lawyer she went to at the beginning of this mediation process has the same first name of one of the lawyers she almost got married to. They dated, lived together, and almost got married (This was all from her mouth). He has the same first name of the lawyer she always told me about, can’t say it’s the same guy on the website, but it seems too coincidental to me, but my question is, can an “ex” represent her as her lawyer? Isn’t that some kind of conflict of interest. Again, only a mediation appointment, but if it goes to court, if it’s the same guy she lived with, is that legal for him to represent her?

C – I know there’s tons of people out there that will give out “free legal advice”, but if I wanted a lawyer (if it goes that far), and I can’t afford one, and she has “ex’s” that are lawyers that can legally represent her, am I allowed to get a public defendant to represent me for free?

D – if the adoption back then was legal, and legit. Am I by law obligated to pay for back child support, even after the legal adoption date, and if a blood test proves that the child is mine?



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