I’m getting tired of it :[?

I’m just getting tired of it all. I have low self esteem and you know what? My friends are just making it worse and they don’t even realize it. :[

They call me dumb a lot and say I’m stupid when I make mistakes. I mean, I think they’re joking. But at this point I’m starting to wonder whether or not they’re actually joking… How can I get my friends to stop "joking around and calling me dumb" without actually saying it? I just get really sad when people call me dumb joking or not. It just emotionally kills me to the point I have to hold back tears.

I just really have low self esteem. I hate myself, and I feel miserable at every waking moment to the point I just want to break down into tears and cry my eyes out. I just hate it. I can make a really large list of things that are wrong with me. I have a wide amount of depression symptoms :[

I’m so ugly its not even funny. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. You would think I would be gorgeous by the way I described myself but I look ugly as ever. And make-up just makes it worse. I’m also too tall for my age. I’m 5’3 but everybodys shorter then me. Plus, everybody also has breasts and I’m only a size 32A. Everyone else is a B-cup already. :[

Theres so many things wrong with me.
-I’m ugly
-I’m dumb
-I’m too tall
-I’m too nice
-I’m too quiet
-I’m boring
-I have low self esteem
-I’m always depressed
-I never go out
-I’m lazy
-I have baby fat on my stomach
-I’m slow
-I’m really sensitive
-I can’t stand up for myself
-Everybody bosses me around
-Nobody understands me
-I’m afraid to be myself
-The only people I can talk to is Y!A and internet friends
-I have no talent & not good at anything
-I’m afraid of the future because I have no future

The list goes on.

I’m 12 years old if that helps you. :[

How can I raise my self esteem and handle all the situations I have? I can’t just take a magic wand and make myself pretty or smart. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like life isn’t worth living because I’m worthless. You guys probably won’t understand. Theres nobody I know that can understand and connect to me. I tried talking to my parents and they don’t get it either. Nobody seems to care. I don’t get whats wrong with me.

By the way, sorry if its in the wrong category. I tried to make a lucky guess. :|


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Rewritten; please review my book?

Hey! I am a 14 year old girl, and I absolutely love to read. Being an author would be great, but right now im just jumping from idea to idea. Be honest, please. I can take criticism. I’ve already posted this story before, but i adjusted some things.
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Ugh. Not another human disturbance run. That’s the branch I work in, Human Disturbances. A strange name, because it was made by the strange. I am a Myst. Made of pure magic, no blood flows through my veins, just magic. We are the most powerful of the supernatural race, which is why we own the whole Kingdom. At fourteen, even though humans are still in school, we work hard at our jobs. Human disturbance runs only happen if the regular guys aren’t there. By the way, an HD run is when a human is creating waves of, you guessed it, disturbance. This one was especially unusual. This is the one when I lost my life. And on a Tuesday, of all days.

My name is Zeela MacKenzie. I don’t especially love my job right now. In the past i’ve dealt with witches, trolls, faeries, and vampires. Don’t get me started on vampires. Whatever the human race has made up about them is all a lie. They are completely cowardly creatures, who spend all their time trying to play the best practical joke on you. So it’s kind of ironic that a vampire came to my rescue. Anyways, I was walking up to an especially expensive place, when I got a visible vibration coming from the top floor. Oh boy. This wasn’t going to be easy, but dang it, if it has to happen, so be it. On the way up, I thought about what I should do to let myself in. I could use easy flattery, or maybe brute force. Haha. Brute force. Since I’m only 5’4, and built very daintily, then that would probably not be the best way in. The girl who opens the door is an AMAZON. No joke. She has swaying golden hair with ice blue eyes, and along with being super tall, she has muscles. Big ones. "Hi, I’m Ashley Green, and I was wondering if you would like to buy some cookies from me? I am trying to raise money for the Cancer walk on Friday." I say this as innocently as I can. It’s good being short, since I can slip into unsuspicious teenager mode. "Excuse me," she sneers, "but I don’t buy anything from the supernatural." I was so shocked I didn’t even notice the whole coven of witches standing in the center of the room. Well, they had another thing coming to them. I clasped my hands together and invisioned the purple fog stretching over their minds and collapsing their brains. I smiled with satisfaction, until I realized I forgot to include a stray from the coven, looking at me with a mixture of awe and hatred. "Ane, mu gensi!" Oh crap. I looked down and noticed a white circle of chalk. And I was standing right smack dab in the middle of it.
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Okay, this is about a girl teen named Zeela. She is very cynical, but loves to exercise her powers. I honestly can’t tell you the rest of the plot, because I don’t want to give too much of it away. Just tell me what you think, and I’ll take everybody’s opinion to heart.


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