I got sexual with my cousin and I think I love him?

i think I have a huge crush on my 1st cousin, this is pretty serious. lets just say his really bad but I truly love him no matter what… even though all my family hate him!
he is a drug dealer, been in and out of prison about 6 times, got tattoos everywhere, smokes drinks everything, he is 25 and has a girlfriend and a daughter who’s only a few months old. His not with his girlfriend anymore though they recently broke up. I’m only 17.

My cousin just spoils me, he doesn’t do it to any cousin but me. When I turned 15 I got well endowed like I have big breasts and butt and he seems to like it, always feeling up my butt and touching me, starring at me saying "your sexy but you no that right" and anyway when I turned 16 he would come to my house and then he would call me to come with him around the back of the house so my mom couldn’t see and just give me stacks of money for no reason, 0+ at a time. he just whispered take this sexy and passed me the money. I never knew why, but I knew they were dirty dollars as his a drug dealer, but I loved having loads of money on me. I never have to want anything cause he would get it for me straight away. I could say "Chris, my laptop broke" and he would by me a new one the next day, he pays for everything for me, ipods, phones, clothes, juicy couture bags, jewelery, everything. he just brings them around with out my parents knowing and comes in my room and gives me loads of stuff. I always thought "wow I truly love him" and always when I was younger thought he was soooooo good looking.
So I really began to crush on him and I can tell he liked me, even when his girlfriend is around he says "you are so sexy" and he grabs my butt and flirts with me all the time. and I showed him my breasts once and his showed me his erection. So I know I’m in the wrong here but I like to tease him cause it gets me off, so I started rubbing my butt on his penis and sticking my breast in his face, touching his penis and looking at him seductively and I loved to see his reaction…

So it got very serious when he told me he was alone and I could go to his to watch a movie that was on saturday night (the one just gone) so I did. when I got there we was all cool and then he asked me to sit on his lap and he started feeling me up and we began to kiss, I told him I felt weird.. and he told me not to and relaxed me, he started fingerin me and tryed to eat me out and I said NO, and I starting feeling his penis then I gave him a bj and he felt my breasts and sucked them but that was all, he tryed to sex me but I said I was scared and he did try a few times but I kept saying "no, please no" and got all emotional. (I’m a virgin) so he left me alone

But like his my cousin, and his spent so much money on me I feel like I should give him something in return. I love the way he compliments me and buys me so much and cares for me. he makes me feel soo special like im the only important person alive. he doesn’t seem interested in any other girls.he says he is too attracted to me and he loves me.

he protects me, his always there for me, I never have to call him twice, he would drop everything for me and always has done anything. if anyone called me a name he would kill them literally. If I had trouble at school like once I was being harassed but some guys I told him to come down to my school and he was there in a few minutes. I really like him. What can I do about this???


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Is my cousin's wife hitting on me?

One time three years ago when they were dating, I was helping them with a class assignement at college, and while my cousin was distracted writting on the computer she rubbed her breast on purpose against my hand while I was holding a book dictating to my cousin.
Then, on another occasion, my cousin and he were in the front of the car and he was telling ehr that his family wanted to meet her, i was sitting in the back with anothe friend, then she turned around and held my hand caressing it, and said: "there is nothing more important to me than my passion" and smiled. i was dumbounded and chose not to say anything and let it slip.
Later when they got married I was his best man, i never told him anything. Now as married couple, one time she started changing her clothes with the bathroom door open so i could see, and my cousin had to tell her that we could see her.

Advice please, what the heck do I do? Do i tell my cousin, or do I keep playing dumb and save their marriage?
I mean, i must be honest, she is hot, but I am also not gonna do something to hurt my cousin, plus: I am married too now!!! This i think is going to create a problem for me in the future.


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my nephew troubles me?

i have a 3 almost 4 year old nephew who i feel is sexual towards me. i know this sounds crazy, but he will purposly pretend to fall or grab something just to touch my breast. he will touch the lower part of my back (forever, if it were up to him) (if i let him, but i dont b/c it freaks me out). when i say he touches my back, i mean, he will come over when im sitting or standing and start put his hand on my back and if i tell him to stop he gets mad and i have to force him to stop. he tried to pull down my pants when i was getting up once and looked at my butt. it really freaks me out and makes me uncomfortable. i try to make him stop and tell him not to do it (and he knows it’s bad), but he wont stop. he used to do a humping motion when he touched my back, but he seems to have stopped. how do i handle this? his mom doesnt think it’s sexual and i do, especially with the breasts. when he starts touching he always wants a kiss or hug. i feel weird giving him either. what do you think??
i think he saw his dad having sex (my sister is divorced to his father) because his dad is a pervert when it comes to women. trust me, im not imagining this! even my husband has noticed and he only does this to me! every single day he does this. it’s been going on since he was around 2.
oh yeah, also, when he touches my back he tries to touch my stomach and eventually he will go towards the breasts and he tries to pull my shirt up. i have to struggle with him to get him to stop.


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