I’d rather not hear any til death do you part stuff…I already know that.
Here is the kicker – He doesn’t hit me, or cheat, drink too much or anything like that. I am just very unhappy and he is a total workaholic and I don’t feel like I am getting "my money’s worth" so to speak. I love him, but we have a daughter that needs him too and he just is NOT available. Work takes priority over everything, then hobbies, then his personal time. We come last.
This has been going on for 3 years….we have little sex and it is always on his terms, i.e. very quick and unfulfilling and he gets up right away and runs back to his computer. NO romance, no real dialogue and he is always angry…not at me, just in general and he takes it out on me and our daughter. I’m at my wits end and have come to realise I am wasting my time, I can do better and he seems to need to be single so he isn’t pressured to spend time with any family. I guess I wonder if I moved out for a while, if he would even notice
Yes, we’ve talked repeatedly, yes, we’ve gone to counseling, I have tried everything.
I also work full time and am the sole caretaker for home and our child.
I also might add that he does not have a drivers license due to stupid things before I met him…so I have to drive evryone to/from where they need to go.
And the last time I talked to him about seperating he had no clue why, and asked me if I was interested in someone else!?! Completely clueless!
I don’t want to leave and this is upsetting, but i’m kindof freaking out. I can live like this, sure. But who would want to?
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My older 36-year-old brother claims to be "bi-polar" and is just using the system. I know plenty of bi-polar people who work. He was in the military for 4 years and was able to support himself before. He has been living with my dad for over 10 years and refuses to work, but he can spend his time smoking pot and having phone sex.
My father has cancer and will not be around much longer. How do I get this guy to work?
Sorry I forgot to elaborate..My brother has been acting lazy for the past 12+ years.. My father found out he has cancer only 6 months ago. My brother DOES NOT act as a caretaker for my father but only manipulates him to use his money for marijuana and recreation. My brother was in the NAVY and was never in contact with danger.
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I cared for my mom from 34 to 47 & she passed. Best thing that ever happened was the opportunity to love her ..I met a man 6 mos. after her passing. Admittedly, I was still in the caretaker mindset, & did way too much for him, cooking dinners 3 x’s a week, cared for him when he was sick & got little acknowledgment back. Since I wasn’t looking or expecting it to begin with I didn’t notice right away. To his credit, he was the first to say "I love you", he displayed traits like..dropping everything to help me come & come w/me even to a dental appt & take me himself, he (was) affectionate, & did ask me, though unofficially.."to get married", & run off to Vegas. I am 48 he is 50. Neither if us had been married, he lost his mother at 7, admits not much female influence in his life. He found me & was looking for a mate but financially totally unprepared yet expected me to feel secure. I never asked him for anything, neither did he. He became distant. I got mad & broke up 3x’s. He won’t talk
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sex therapy is the last chance i have to save my marriage but i don’t even feel like going. how can you expect to save a marriage when you are not even attracted to the person? we have zero chemistry & sadly, i can’t even remember why i was attracted to him in the first place. i know i was drawn to him because i knew he would take care of me….but i’m older now & don’t need a caretaker. (i was 19 when i married, now i’m 23 and he’s 30).
i actually recommended sex therapy a few years ago but that suggestion was brushed aside. now we are separated (for 7 months) & now he wants to try. he says he’ll do anything.
he is a good man with a heart of gold. i love him more than anyone…..but he just doesn’t get my juices flowing.
so, should i visit a sex tharapist with him, even if i don’t want to? the only reason i’m considering is because he’s really truly willing to do anything…& i feel rotten for not returning the favor….plus, i don’t feel right getting a divorce w/o trying
PS: I have already cheated on him. he knows about it and took me back with open arms, as it was an eye opener for him—-he realized he was not taking care of my emotional and sexual needs.
isn’t it too soon to be feeling the "7 year itch"? i’ve only been married 4 years and started feeling it after a year.
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