Hi, do you think that once a cheater they always are? My cousin is letting a text message get to her that her ex sent just when she was about to move on, I tried to tell her that she did good by resisting him but she keeps thinking about him now that he is trying to come back in the picture.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years now and it was a long distances relationship that we had and we are both virgins and everything (just saying so that you do not answer that that is the problem) and about two months ago he told me he did not feel it for me anymore like love wise but he care about me like he wants to see me finish college and everything and he said tha the met this girl at his job and he says that he gets butterflies when he sees her…. i told him not to talk to her and stuff and he agree that he would not do that and that we would try to make everything right….. two months pass and i felt it comming when this monday he said that he does not want to be a cheater and that he wants to break up with me so that he can ask that other girl out….i have been an emotional train reck…. my friends are there for me but all of them have different opinions some say i should leave for good and some say i should just do what i think is right…..i hate and love him at the same time but i feel like i could forgive him for what he did and everything because i feel inside that it is somehow meant to be…. he still calls me and its during the night he told me that he only want to talk during the night and be friends….i asked him if there would every be a chance that he would return to me or at least try to love me agian and he said that it was a possiblity but for some reason i am doubting that and i don’t know why…. i just break down and cry for no apparent reason and my heart feels so numb that it has actually effected my health i have not slept properly in days and every time i eat i feel like throwing up and i start to gage which i hate soooo much….. he told me that he really wants to be with her and everything because he feels a connection he is about to graduate from college and she does not even consider to go to get a higher education…. last night he told me that it was easier to talk to me then her because her english is not good (she is of asian decent) and we are european….i feel as if he is making a mistake and i dont know why in the world he would want to do such a thing when he was the one to tell me that i was the one and that he want to me to carry his baby etc…every time he came here it felt magical and we would both get goose bumps….and i agree that he could talk to me at night because id o not want to let go of someone i love sooo much and i donno what to do i tried not to talk to him but the next day i went into a depressing mode and texted him telling him to call me…. he still asks me who i am with and we am talking to if i dont answer the phone whihc does nto make sense. Some of my friends told me not to talk to him no moer because he is a jerk and last night we have both decided that we will talk and everything and that he wanted it to be a secret from his parents, friends, and that girl that he did not care what they think of him and everything i just dont understand why does he want to talk to me and keep it a secret and that he wants to try to be with her…. i ask him if he thinks it might be serious he tells me he does not know and says somthing like "maybe i just be with her for two weeks’ and stuff like that and everytime i ask him if he would return to me he says that he might but if he did he would move here for good and then i tell him that i truly dont think that he will do that and he tells me it is something that i siad and not him… but when i asked him if he thought that he would come back to me now he said no and then when i ask him if he would come back to me in the future he said Maybe if he gets the love back i jsut dont know i just want my best friend back adn the person taht i had everything with i am dieing inside as a person i try so hard not to but there is something much more stronger than me inside of me like something is keeping here for a reason and please dont say that it is because i love him and stuff its just more than that because i feel that there is no girl that would do all this that i would for him i jsut dont know my friend today told me that if he did not return that there would be another guy i would make lucky but he would not make me lucky the only man i want is him and if i cant have him i will remain single… i just wish he would realize what we have and had especially if he wants to talk to me and everything just give me your opinion and please do not leave any stupid remarks
the thing is that i am not trying to be selfish it just that i cant give myself to someone else if i am not there mentally for them i feel like he was my everything and its easier said than done i love him beyong belief i just donno i jsut cant be with anohter guy it makes me thing of him and everything and i dont see it as being true to that other person its like using that other person you know:?
But after an affair? Did you think that w/o the counseling, the marriage would for sure ended, did it end even with counseling? Did you work it out on your own, or just walk away? Just trying to get ideas of how others either saved their marriage or if they left it and try to figure out whats best for me and maybe someone will throw an idea out that there will get my own wheels spinning. Oh, and I am not saying who the cheater is, him or me, because thats when all the judgemental answers start coming…if only people could answer the question being asked and save the judgement.
Guys,
I need your help. I cant stand my ex-girlfriend. She’s a lair and a cheater..but her sex game is awesome. I cant let her go because of the good sex….How do i get over it?
If you are unlikely enough to find yourself in a relationship with a married man, you might be asking yourself the following: “will he really leave her for me?”.
What you need to understand is that men don’t leave their wives. It’s true, married men rarely leave their wives for their mistresses. And to be honest, even if he did, why would you want a man who is a cheater?
Woman are compassionate, loving, forgiving, kind, and sometimes very gullible. You might think he’ll leave his wife because she’s old, fat, mean, stupid, nuts, controlling, etc. And maybe she is, but the truth is she’s probably none of these things, after all why would he have married her if she was? It’s much more likely that he’s just bored and you’re a convenient distraction.
Few women would knowingly start a relationship with a married man if he started talking about what a sexy and wonderful person his wife was, so as hard as it is to believe married men will often lie so that you can justify having sex with him.
The reasons men cheat usually come down to the fact that their marriage has gotten stale and one or more of his needs (not just sexually) are not being met to his satisfaction. That’s the same reason women cheat too.
The problem is that at the end of the day he probably still has feelings for his wife or at least doesn’t want to go through the expense of a divorce. You also have to take into consideration the way both sides of his family will react, and if there are kids involved most men are unwilling to hurt their own children.
If you are a women who is involved with a married man and want to know why men don’t leave their wives there can be many reasons. The important thing to remember is that it really doesn’t matter why he won’t leave, it only matters that you know he probably won’t leave his wife and he’s not much of a prize even if he did.
We have beeen married 5 years. Normal ups and downs. Second for both. He is 56 I am 48.
I am unemployed but have been looking for work for a couple of years now. no jobs in the only thing have ever done-dental office for 20+ years. We were making it on his pay-but no more luxuries like when I was working.
His ex-wife who is out of state called him out of the blue a few months ago. After 19 years apart. They have one daughter 30, and she knows he remarried. She is going through a bad divorce and now realizes after all these years my husband was the only one for her!
He left her because she cheated on him repeatedly.
I found a text on his phone-a gut feeling told me to check. She left him one saying she was so happy he would be giving her another chance and she would never hurt him again!
Long story short, he is leaving me for her. I was a good loving, faithful wife. I made a nice home for him and denied him nothing. She makes good money and part of me thinks he is sick of supporting me and going without, With her they would live high on the hog.
I am in shock. I am hurting so badly because I cannot even imagine why someone would choose a cheater over the real thing. She told him she changed. They have been emailing for a while, and I asked him why as it was disrespectful to me. He said she was only calling him because she has no family and no one else and it would stop. It didn’t and escalated into this. After 20 years apart?
The house was mine when we married-in my name only. There is zero equity in it so if I sold it I might not even break even. I have no money of my own. Even though i could temporarily stay with my parents for a while, I will be homeless without anything but the clotthes on my back. I can’t afford to store my furniture with no money.
I spoke to a lawyer and he said the most I could get for alimony is maybe 0 week for a couple of years. I am losing not only my marriage but everything I worked so hard for all of my life. i have no choice-my family has no money either. My 18 year old son from first marriage lives with me. he is crushed as he really loved his step-dad. Now at 48 I will be moving in with my parents and filing bancruptcy. No money to pay credit cards, car ins., etc.
What was he thinking? The money? That she really changed? My lawyer said she didn’t really want HIM, but the security and familiarity of him after her second husband left her.
How can I cope? My world has disappeared in a matter of days. I know I could never take him back after this (IF he ever wanted that) I am just so confused-what was he thinking????
We are living our lives, she calls out of the blue after no contact for years, and now my marriage is over. Please advise I am losing everything I ever had and I am crushed in every way.
Please, serious answers only.
Basically, we were together for 2 years and a half.
He is a really good guy. Not a cheater, not a lier.
He really does love me.
So, it’s not a situation where I want him, but he doesn’t want me.
We’ve been broken up for 3 months now.
I’m suicidal.
Please, serious answers only.
K brief story. I’ve been married many times (1 alcoholic, 2 cheaters). I was only really in love with my last husband who cheated on me many times. He made our lives a nightmare, the kids couldn’t make a sound while he was home, we had to live by his rules and there was no room for error. But I hung in there until he left. I even asked him to come home, how humiliating. Well I finally moved on with my life but a part of me died. The ability to truly be in love is gone and I don’t want it back. I miss it and am very sad about not having that being a part of my life ever again. But I never want to be hurt that bad again so I will not allow myself to fall in love again, ever. Now having said that, I remarried a wonderful man. But I am not in love with him, and it is getting harder to pretend that I do. I refuse to divorce. So any suggestions are welcome.
I think I did not explain enough. My husband knows how I feel, and I treat him like a king. I do care for him and take very good care of him. We are like a couple who has been married for 20 yrs. I was talking about the "your heart skips a beat every time you see them kind of love" I miss that. But then I am afraid to surrender to it also. And to inform the negative people that chimed in, first I am not a golddigger. I have always worked and never taken a dime from any of my husbands. Next, it is not my fault that my husbands cheated. How can you blame someone for somebody cheating on them? Now I knew that my first husband drank but I had no idea how much until after we were married. My second husband is weak, he will do anything anyone tells him to especially women, so when they began their "relations" it was because they pursued him and he just went along with it. My third husband, I knew was a cheater but I thought he was a christian and had changed.
I do not jump into marriage lightly. I dated each one of my husbands at least 2 yrs before marriage. I did not live with my husbands before marriage so I could not be aware of their "habits" until we started living together. Now my 3rd husband had everyone fooled, coworkers, church friends, etc. Then one day he just never came home, did a 180 degree turn on everyone. We were all in shock. I was married almost 10 yrs (each) to my 2nd & 3rd husbands. My first was less than 3 because I gave him a choice me or the booze, he choose the booze. And to answer why I got married again is simple, my husband while not perfect, is the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever met. If I let him get away I would never find anyone else like him. I am very blessed to have him as my husband.
