the night before last i dreamt that i was having an affair with this guy that i new of in highschool who is now married to a friend from childhood that i rarely talk to. it was all lust, but never made it to sealing the deal (which is wierd b/c i never found this guy attractive) we were running around in my old middle school laughing and flirting and stuff. we went out to eat and i was trying to figure out what i wanted, and for some reason i was picking something healthy (salmon) but i didn’t want to spend too much because he didn’t have a lot of money. the thought popped into my head "damn, this sucks. when i’m w/ my husband i don’t have to pay attention to the prices" then i started thinking about my husband and how much i loved him and couldn’t live without him. then his wife (my friend from long ago) showed up calling me a bitch. i pulled her aside and explained that i was just realizing how stupid this was, and that i loved my husband too much to do this. she cried and said thank you and i left.
last night i dreamt that i went on vacation with this guy that i knew way back when (he dated my best friend at the time for a couple of years- again, i never found him attractive) it was a big group of people- a whole bunch of couples. oh by the way, in both dreams the guys were telling me that they loved me even though it had only been going on for a couple of days, i don’t know if that matters. this time it did make it sealing the deal(i think) but we were just doing normal vacation stuff… drinking on the deck, cooking out, swimming but we were very lovey dovey. then a couple days before we were going to leave i started feeling guilty again, and decided to break it off. i was missing my husband and realized how stupid the whole thing was because i could lose my husband forever if he found out. oh and in this dream, for some reason my four month old son kept popping in and out of the dream, but my 4 year old was not in it. (both kids are from my husband)
i have no desire to cheat on my husband in waking hours, we have a very good, honest relationship. we’re best friends. even though it’s just a dream i feel guilty all day long wondering why i’m dreaming about this stuff.
also, i’ve always had this reoccuring dream that i’m back in highschool and i get that anxiety i used to get that i needed to get outta there. then finally i realize i’ve already graduated and i don’t need to be there anymore.
