How do I win back my ex-husband, we jumped into a divorce to fast. I was cold to him&know he doesn’t trust me!
I have made such a mistake, I was so cold&withdrawn from my husband of 13yrs& it finally ended in divorce. We r both Christians & vowed never to do this. We have 2 kids which r hurting from our mistake. I realize how much I love him&want him in my life and have told him on many occassions but he doesn’t think he can trust me now. Sometimes he lets me back in but then it’s like he catches himself&blocks me out again.
He has started to see someone who has totally fallen for him but he says he doesn’t love her. I have tried all I know to do, I pray, read my Bible, counseling and go to church. I just can’t give up, he is my soul mate and the father of my children. He says he will always love me but it’s just not the same now. I have cried, begged, screamed, but all that does is make him think I’m crazy so I’ve stopped that behavior but I want him back!
I have hurt him more than I ever realized! Please give me your advise on how to make him fall n love again! I feel so LOST!
You cried, you begged, you screamed, you pleaded and now you have learn-ed that this has not worked, so the first thing you need to do is STOP doing what has not worked. I first want to tell you that I am so very sorry for your pain and I know how much you regret of the way you have treated your husband. You have told him you were sorry, so he knows this. The problem now is to get him to want you, believe in you and most of all for him to re-gain respect for you.
I know, this is all so painful to hear, but the reality is that your husband has learn-ed to disrespect you, not so much because you cried and begged but because of the way you behaved in the way you badly treated him, eventually leading him to lose trust and hope in your love. One shread of hope you do have left, and that is to slowly regain his respect for you. Without respect, there cannot be love.
The way to start is to IGNORE him! Stop calling him, no matter how much you are driven to call him, don’t! Stop making up excuses to call him, stop playing games to get him to see you or talk to you. STOP it now or you will lose the little shread of love that is left. With that said, what you need to do is do all you can to reassure him that his freedom is secure, you do this not by words but by your silence.
Silence is golden carries more over on a person than you think. In time the obvious will happen. He will begin to wonder about you, wonder if you love him anymore, wonder if maybe you are making an effort to move on. In order for him to have any incentive to want to come home he needs to fear losing you, right now he has no fear of this and so he is not driven to come back and work on things. And do not be available to him when he does call. If he wants to visit with the children, arrange it so that a relative or friend to be there so that you do not have to face him. Do not display any type of anger, sadness, happiness, just do not let on or her will think it is a manipulation on your part. This is why it is important that he not see you, for he can read you like a book.
Do not TALK about feelings, what is on your mind, about your plans, do not allow him any information about you at all. We girls tend to talk too much leaving nothing to the imagination. HE NEEDS TO WONDER.
This is not a game, this is how a grown woman who has any respect for herself behaves, she gives a guy that no longer wants to be with her his freeom. Many women have found that once they do this, it is to their surprise how all of a sudden the man WANTS to come back. ‘And sometimes the women ends up not wanting to have him back, some do.
Go out and buy that book “Love Must Be Tough” by Dr. James Dobson, trust me it will help you through this and to get your husband back on the right path in the marriage. And if your budget allows it, it would also benefit you to buy that book, “The Proper Care & Feeding Of Husbands”. this book will get you ready for a great reconcilation for a great start in your marriage. Good luck to you and don’t lose hope! Hugs!
Get Your Ex Back – Make Your Ex BEG YOU To Come Back
