My best friend, Cole, and I have been friends for two years.
We seem like the oddest pair- I am very short (5’3) and 26 years old….Cole is very tall (over 6ft.), British, and 40 years old. But we get on fabulously. I can talk to him about anything, and we just have the greatest friendship… He was a great source of comfort for me when my former husband was overseas for nearly a year, and he has leaned on me dealing with his estranged wife’s drug abuse problem, especially after she left him two years ago.
When I lived in Charlotte, we were inseparable. We would hang out every day, or we’d go grab dinner, and just talk about our significant others, trying to make heads and tails of the situations. We were never physically intimate, with the exception of the rare hug and the couple of times we slept in the same bed (huddled in separate corners)
I moved away from Charlotte in January 2008, and took up residence in Orlando,FL. Cole and I continued to talk every night, sometimes until the wee hours of the morning. Eventually, I noticed that Cole would make odd comments to me, sexual in nature. I was flattered, but confused- Cole has made it clear that until closure comes to that situation with his wife, he considers himself still very married. If someone still loves their wife, they wouldn’t be thinking that, right?
After a few racy conversations, we both just kind of left the topic alone. It’s not that it was uncomfortable, I mean, Cole is a very attractive man, and I have always had a crush on him…but it felt like something shifted in the dynamics of our friendship.
Since then, we still talk fairly often, almost every day. Currently, Cole is visiting his family in the UK, which leads me to my next thing: I got a few emails from him the last time he went overseas. This time, he called me from London and talked to me for an hour, telling me about how he’s to the point where he has been patient enough with the situation with his wife, and is going to look into divorcing her. Later in the conversation, when I was discussing my difficulties in finding a job in my hometown of New Orleans, where I’ve recently relocated, he pushed me to find a job in Charlotte, when I come visit this summer. He kept finding little things to keep the conversation going, asking me about how things are going with my family, my life.. saying things to make me laugh, complimenting my personality and expressive nature. (seriously. and this guy does NOT give out compliments lavishly.)
He always pushes me to come back to Charlotte. Asks when I’m coming up. Last time I came to visit, he greeted me with a big, warm hug. He’s not even a big, huggy type, he’s ex-British military!
I’m telling you, things have changed in the past two years, and he confides everything in me.. He’s even told me I’m the only other person he talks to about the rough stuff with besides his friend James.
I’m sure this whole explanation sounds completely innocent, like he’s being a good friend and I’m taking things the wrong way, but I believe there’s something there. Opinions, please!
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