Maybe this is a weak moment in my life, I’m kinda needy of love and companionship. But so far, I’m dumped twice, and that’s kinda enough to make me scared of moving on, or of being confident on my own. Rejections from guys hit me so hard. How can I be confident and happy without a man? How can I sweep away this sense of insecurity? Btw, I’m in late 20′s and maybe the fact me being alone for the age group making me so insecure. Any advice? Thanks.
Are you thinking ‘I want my ex back‘ after a painful relationship break up? If this sounds like you, then you’re not alone. Missing your ex is a normal part of the grieving process after any break up, but some women’s longing to see their ex one more time goes much deeper than simply missing the companionship.
In these cases, women can feel as though they have missed out on their chance at true love. If this sounds like you and you find yourself saying ‘I really miss him’ then there may be some things you can do to win back your relationship.
Even if you think you’ve tried everything you can to get your ex back, perhaps you need to reconsider your tactics, as some of the things you might be doing could potentially be pushing him even further away. Some things women try in order to get their ex to realize how much they miss him can often make him run the other way instead of coming back to you.
These things can include calling him and telling him you miss him and you love him in an upset, miserable tone of voice. To a man, this sounds like desperation from a very unhappy person. Men like to spend time with people who make them feel good. This means they’ll look for women who are happy and confident because they make him feel as though he’s capable of making them happy.
If you’ve ever called your ex and cried about how upset you are now he’s gone, then you might have pushed him even further away. Don’t worry, though. It is possible to fix this kind of mistake by simply not contacting him for a few days to give him plenty of time to miss you. After all, if you’re texting or emailing or calling him all the time, when has he had a chance to miss you yet?
While you’re spending some time away from him, you need to spend some time working on building up your own self-confidence. Give yourself a mini makeover. When women look good, they feel good too. Spend some time doing things that make you feel good. Go out with some girlfriends and do some fun things together.
Building your own self-confidence will help to stop you thinking about the negative, upsetting aspects of telling yourself over and over that you miss your ex. Instead of this, begin thinking about positive things you can do to become the happy, confident woman that your ex fell in love with in the first place.
After all, when you can put yourself back into a positive frame of mind, you’ll be ready to give him a call and suggest you both catch up for a friendly coffee and a chat. This will give you a chance to let him spend some time with the happy, confident version of you that he once loved and was attracted to. If you feel your emotions coming to the surface and you feel like you want to beg or plead with him or if you feel like you’re going to cry, remember that the unhappy you is the one he pulled away from and broke up with.
Take heart. There is still hope you can work on ways to get your ex back.
Here’s my dilemma: Married to hubby for 3 years, together for 13 years. We met with I was 17 and he was 18, during our freshman year at college. We both had minuscule relationship experience. We are now 31 and 32 years old, with an almost 3 year old, and I am 6 weeks pregnant with baby #2.
My question is: How do I fall in love with my husband all over again? Because I am BORED out of my mind! First, I have to take responsibility for my own actions: not putting enough time and attention into the relationship. It takes 2 to make a marriage work. But I am BORED. Since we became Mommy and Daddy, it became all about our son (which my hubby complained about; he felt left out). And over the years since we’ve become parents, we now live more like roommates.
I find myself easily annoyed with things he does, with the way he doesn’t take care of his body, with the fact that he has no hobbies or interests or friends, with a lot of things. I have even gone so far as to become interested in other men. Wrong, I know.
I want to get on the right track again in my marriage, so how to learn to get rid of some of this boredom and learn to love my hubby again? How do I learn to find him desirable again? How do I learn to WANT to be with him?
We will soon have 2 children, and I don’t want to rip up our family. But I also don’t want to be 50 years old, wondering why I spent so much time with a man that may not have been the right match for me, or feel that I missed out on more compatible, more exciting men.
Any advice?
P.S. Please, no name-calling, or bashing. I just want helpful advice here…..Thanks!
Edited to Add:
Thanks for the helpful suggestions. I agree that we need to move TOWARDS each other instead of AWAY from each other. It’s been too easy to move away from each other, as if the other is some permanent fixture in the room. I am going to do the following: For 2 weeks, I am going to show him undivided attention….love…companionship….NO NAGGING (hard to do!)…..plentiful kissing… a couple dates….and see where it goes.
Yes, we probably should have dated around at 17…hell….even at 25! But we didn’t. And the person that said 31 and with kids is too old to be wondering about that now–you’re absolutely right.
Instead of thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence……I’m going to take down the fence 
Or, at least, try to!
Note to Guy bein’ a Guy: Wow, thanks for the kick in the ass I needed. You’re right, I have forgottetn how to be a wife and a lover. I went from LOVER to MOTHER, without wondering that would make my hubby feel. I have shut him out, and as a result, he’s only reacting to ME. I agree that I can’t complain if I am not doing all that I can do to make the relationship better, more exciting. It takes 2 to make it work. Instead of complaining, I’m going to be the instigator of good healthy relationship habits, and see just how far it takes me.
THANKS!!!
P.S. Yes, I am a pain in the butt at times 
I cheated on my ex for reasons I cant really explain. Every time i tell the story why I cheated I think im trying to convince myself. Although I was a little younger then and naive and liked to play games. Well in any event I did love him and I still do love him and miss him sooo much. He is very stubborn and he like hates me but I want him to realized that i know what I did was wrong I do love HIM despite what ppl would say "if you really loved him you would not have cheated" that is total b.s and only a person who never cheated would actually believe that. So how can i get him to at least acknowledge my presence…Or should I just be direct and apologize and say i would like to at least be his friend because I miss his companionship (it is the honest to god truth)
O did i mention that I know he cheated on me before. When we first go together we were cheating on other spouses…so we knew we were both capable of cheating. His problem was that I cheated well went on a date with a friend of his but I didn’t sexually cheat im no whore. I think he was ready to settle down with me and I was still being immature
im sorry but your that comment was not neccessary nor wanted….just because your a little bitter bitch who obviously has no luck with the opposite sex….to be well informed before you comment because although ignorance is bliss for some it just makes me laugh in the inside….I nver stated that I had sex with anyone. cheating does not have a definite definition. Secondly GOD does not judge nor criticize one so you will burn in hell just for that comment….GOD HATES CHEATERS?? Really since when does god hate anyone you embisile. and dont say your source was god because you never talked to him before
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