We’ve been together two years. She’s left me a few times before. I know I have bad behavior sometimes, but I’ve never loved a girl like this and I try to do everything for her, she’s very good to me and I love her very much. I know I am very bossy and have control issues which is why she says she keeps leaving, she also says I am too strict with our money. She also said that my family is too involved in our relationship and I need to tell them to but out. I feel like her constantly leaving isn’t fair or normal reaction, but I do know that I’ve not always treated her nicely and I feel ashamed of that, I have a hard time expressing my feelings. She said if I want to work it out, I have to commit to counseling and move back to her home state (across country) to be with her, since she moved out here to be with me and she’s not happy here, she doesn’t like it here, and she’s sick of my controlling personality and my family getting involved out here. She also said though that she doesn’t believe I can change…I know I need to, but I think she does too, she can’t keep running from the relationship…What do I do? I am scared I won’t find a job, where she’s from it’s a small place without much opportunity, I have a good job here, and I am scared it will just end up in us breaking up again.
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A few weeks ago my wife told me she loves me but is no longer in love. The issues she says caused this are today gone and she knows that. (The issues were that for years I had a very opinionated and controlling personality and that I never got as close to her son as I should have. I realize that those controlling feelings of there is a “right way” or a “safe way” to act were wrong and I will never be like that again. And, I have made amends with her son and will love him forever like my own.) Other than those personality issues, I was a great husband to her. (Never abusive, always loving, always complimentary, very supportive, etc.) We are going to counseling now.
I’d love for you to share – what are things that you did or your spouse did or you & your spouse did that helped rekindle the romance, bring those feelings back, and help you “fall in love” again? How long might this take? It has only been two days since she decided to try to reconcile. Yesterday we spent the whole day together doing stuff (errands, lunch, movie, had a late beer, etc.) – but no emotion from her – no kisses, no hand holding, etc. I know it is very soon but that was REALLY hard for me. I’m trying …
Can you help me (us)?
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A few weeks ago my wife told me she loves me but is no longer in love. The issues she says caused this are today gone and she knows that. (The issues were that for years I had a very opinionated and controlling personality and that I never got as close to her son as I should have. I realize that those controlling feelings of there is a “right way” or a “safe way” to act were wrong and I will never be like that again. And, I have made amends with her son and will love him forever like my own.) Other than those personality issues, I was a great husband to her. (Never abusive, always loving, always complimentary, very supportive, etc.) We are going to counseling now.
I’d love for you to share – what are things that you did or your spouse did or you & your spouse did that helped rekindle the romance, bring those feelings back, and help you “fall in love” again? How long might this take? It has only been two days since she decided to try to reconcile. Yesterday we spent the whole day together doing stuff (errands, lunch, movie, had a late beer, etc.) – but no emotion from her – no kisses, no hand holding, etc. I know it is very soon but that was REALLY hard for me. I’m trying …
Can you help me (us)?
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