Can I get him back, or is it just pointless.

How can I get over him??

Please help me..?

Me and my ex went out for almost a year. and we broke up about a month and a half ago. we had a great relationship of course we had our fights but we would always make up and get along great. I was so in love with him. i had never loved anyone as much as i loved him, not even my parents.

About 2 weeks before our relationship completely ended he randomly said that he needed a break because he hated how he never saw me and that its “killing him” he said we would take a break for 3 days. but the next day he texted me and was liek i can’t wait any longer. im sorry, lets try to make this work one more time. and so we did. but 2 or 3 times within the 2 weeks he would pretty much break up with me but we would talk it out. he blew me off twice within 3 days. and then at the end of the 2 weeks he just ended it. all he said was that it wasn’t working. and that the magic was gone. and that he still wanted to be friends.

Its been a month and a half we talk occasionally. but early last week we were talking for a couple days. which is abnornmal because before that we would just text to see how eachother were then stop. and this time we were actually talking and having full conversations for about 2 or 3 days. and then we just stopped but a couple days later i was just tired of hearing all these things he was saying about me so i finally just asked him straight up. and we talked everything out. it turns out none of it was true. but i heard that he was going to go out with this one girl that i had mat a couple times before. and i asked him and he never gave me a straight answer and finally he just said that he liked someone else. but of course he wouldn’t tell me who it was.

Then i asked him if he was over me. and he said idk. i asked him what he meant. and he said well i miss you but i dont want to go back out. then i asked if he would ever want to go back out, and he said well honestly i dont think so. after that he stopped texting me and i stopped texting him. i deleted his numbers from my phone and i deleted him from my facebook. i was so angry and i didnt really have a reason to be. but i woke up this morning and i just burst out into tears and i’ve been crying all day.

I really really really really miss him. like its so hard to not be talking to him anymore. but i really want to be over him at the same time. but then again all i do is want him back.
is there anyway to get him back?? or is it just hopeless.. and if there pretty much is no way to get him back how can i get over him..

I’ve tried everything but it doesnt seem to be working.

If your a guy and you were in his position would you take me back

If your a girl share some experiences, any advice that would help.

Pleasee just help me in some way

Thank you so much*

Technorati Tags: Break 98, conversations, couple days, couple times, great relationship, love, magic, month and a half, parents, quot, straight answer

Don’t you wish there were “specific phrases” to say that would almost psychologically force your ex to want YOU back?

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Technorati Tags: alcohol, amp, conversations, depression, despair, ell, Fist Step, Force 121, Hot Buttons, how to get back with your ex, invitations, Phrases, relationship, romance, second chance, text messaging

I split with my ex husband last July. We have a two year old together. My two year old tells me that her Nana hits her (she’s recently started picking up a hitting habit, like swinging)… soon after, she came home with a mark on her eye. I ask her where this mark came from and she says that her "Nana" hit her. I call her father, and ask her what the hell happened, and he says that our daughter fell… I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him… he stalked me, followed me, recorded my conversations, and took photographs of me and my friends after he and I split up. He’s crazy. He doesn’t work a legitimate job, he works under the table. Pays absolutely no child support…. I have done the "responsible" thing by not stopping him from seeing her. Tonight when dropping her off, I said "Do you allow your Mother to discipline our daughter" He stuttered and said "Yes, she puts her in time out…" I said "well she’s making accusations that her Nana is hitting her, so if she is hitting her and you know about it… you need to tell her if it happens again, I will guarantee that she will never lay eyes in our daughter again… and neither will you." He shoots back with "Well I’ve been meaning to ask you… does your boyfriend (my fiance) change our daughter’s diaper?", I said "When it’s necessary"… she said "Oh because she claims he’s touched her".. now I know for a fact this is absolutely bullshit. My daughter has been to the pediatrician on THREE separate occasions prior to my fiance and I getting together for yeast or bacteria infections, I had the Pediatrician check her out for sexual assault because one time she is ridiculously red, and complaining that her bottom hurt. The Ped said no trauma to the area, no sexual assault of any kind. My daughters father KNOWS I’ve taken her to get checked by the Pediatrician and it infuriated him. This is some sort of backlash from the drama he’s created and I’m trying to deal with. I’m upset by this bogus accusation. He only said that because I warned him about his mom. I acted as if it didn’t effect me, but it’s really bothering my fiance. My ex makes "random shots" at him for no apparent reason when my fiance has been nothing but cordial to him, and my fiance absolutely loves and adores my daughter…

What do I do to fix this problem? We already have a pending child support and custody hearing… I have no attorney and can’t afford one in this economy with him paying NO child support. He has an attorney, and works under the table. Please help!
Thanks for all of the information. We do have a separation agreement, and a custody agreement (I’m in the process of getting it adjusted through court). This is the ONLY reason I’ve allowed my daughter to go- I don’t want to be held in contempt.
For those of you bashing my character, not that I need to explain myself to you but I’m an adult. I work for the Federal Government and I was asking your opinion on how to fix this. I am WELL aware that he said/she said does not play out in court. My question was simply how do I get my daughter’s father to stop playing the cat/mouse game, how to be a good father, support his daughter and rather than leaving her with his parents to go out and party- SPEND TIME WITH HER. Do not bash my character, you don’t know me. I work my ass off to make sure she is being brought up in a positive home. I don’t need your negativity. For those experienced, I need your advice. For those not experiences, get a damn life and go be bored somewhere else..

Technorati Tags: accusations, backlash, bacteria, child support, conversations, Discipline, False Accusations, fiance, habit, hell, legitimate job, Mark 99, nana, occasions, ped, pediatrician, photographs, sexual assault, time out, Trauma, yeast

My boyfriend just broke up with me, we were best friends before and really loved each other but he just got so busy with after school activities… and he just stopped loving me… we had like really deep conversations while we were going out too… and i really want him back, he was really sweet… and handsome… and just overall perfect… how do i earn him back? how can i make him want me? answers pleeeaaasseee. and i’m not willing to stoop low as to dating his best friends or anything because his best friends is also my best friend… please help?
he still wants to be friends… but i don’t know if i can talk to him… and it was really sudden too… and all my friends think i can get him back but i really don’t know, i’ve been so miserable for the past few days that i haven’t even been able to eat anything… and i’ve been close to puking several times… like i’m literally sick to my stomach and the heart ache is unbearable… but he was still really happy after we broke up… like the day after i was holding back tears all day and he was just all happy. but he keeps looking at me… like he did when he was with his old girlfriend… back when he liked me… now he’ll peek over and see what i’m up too and if i look over and catch his glance, he turns his head really quickly and goes back to talking to his ‘other friends’ and i just invited him back into our old group… even though people are mad at him, i felt bad… because his best friend is also there… but idk how to deal or get over him…

Technorati Tags: best friend, best friends, conversations, ex boyfriend, few days, girlfriend, glance, heart ache, peek, several times, sick to my stomach, Stoop

I have been with my girlfriend for abot six months, and its had its up and downs like with everyone and like were both pretty happy, exept it seems we have nothing to say to one another anymore other then how was your day, what did you do, how was this, how was that, basically pointless smalltalk, i was wondering if anyone was experiencing the same problem and if they found a solution- obviosuly theres no magic solution but maybe tips about what to do or things that could make us have intresting conversations again.

Technorati Tags: conversations, Exept, Girlfirend, girlfriend, Intresting, magic solution, six months

After a week and a half of breaking up with me, my ex contacts me and tells me he still likes me but doesn’t know what he wants. Ever since then we have been in touch with each other.
We talk once in a while, but not as often as we used to. Our conversations are great and we act very nice toward each other. I guess you can say we are friends. We avoid talking about the relationship. I want to start new and show him how I have changed for the better. I do slip sometimes but that will take time to change. It has now been two months, and I want to get back together with him but do not want to rush things. What should I do from here? How should I act?

Lately, I have been getting in touch with my ex more often than he gets in touch with me. I know thats a big NO NO, but our conversations are good and he makes me feel comfortable contacting him. However, lately he only contacted me in response to my message or text. Should I stop contacting him to get a response from him? I’m very confused

Technorati Tags: 101, Contacts, conversations, relationship, rush

It happened at work- he charmed me to no end, flirted w/ me, interfered w/ my job performance by initiating deep, personal and talk-about-everything conversations. He would follow me around our workplace, turn red when I walked in the room, etc. Though not initially physically attracted to him, I fell hard eventually. About 6 or 7 mths. ago, he began dating another girl at our workplace. He didn’t seem to have any problem going into explicit details about their sexual exploits, seemingly MAKING SURE that I found out. What a scumbag! No class What sealed his fate, though were the tatoos they both got of each other in I’ll-only-let-you-guess-what-places during a "romantic rendezvous" weekend he took her on to a place on the other side of this country. Mind you, the weekend they spent at this locale occurred very quickly after they 1st met indicating to me that it was one in which only immediate pleasures were fulfilled. I will never forgive him, even if he has the tatoos removed

Technorati Tags: broken heart, conversations, explicit details, fate, Guess, Heart Love, job, mths, new girlfriend, pleasures, romantic rendezvous, scumbag, sexual exploits, tatoos

what would make you want your ex girlfriend back? my boyfriend and i broke up a week ago and he still talks to me and texts me and stuff. i never ever start the conversations and some days for no reason at all he’ll link me to a youtube video or something to get my attention. but how can i make him want me back? how can i make him jealous and regret breaking up with me?
he’s still single, we both are, we only broke up last week

Technorati Tags: conversations, ex girlfriend, texts, youtube video

So me and my ex were amazing for 8 months, until he left for uni. Once he got there I got stressed (with him being away), as did he. He felt I didn’t care about him and that we weren’t as emotionally connected as we were once before. He also wished we had deeper, less superficial conversations. All I can say is, he was so different from other guys in the best way possible, and I love him so much, and want him back. Thing is, I was literally begging for him to come back but he wouldn’t give me a second chance, said "I’m so sorry I’ve let you down so badly" and then I told him that I couldn’t forgive him. I was reading up some stuff about getting your ex back online, but I can’t really afford to buy "The Magic of Making Up". So I’ve decided I’m going to send him an email, what do you think? Where can I improve?

"You know what, I think you’re right. Both of us need a some air, so it’s better off if we’re not together right now. I hope that we can at least be friends now, or even when you come back. We haven’t talked properly in a while, and I have loads to tell you, but when you’re free. I hope to be hearing from you soon."

If he accepts this offer, what would my next moves be?

Technorati Tags: conversations, email, love, magic, second chance

So me and my ex were amazing for 8 months, until he left for uni. Once he got there I got stressed (with him being away), as did he. He felt I didn’t care about him and that we weren’t as emotionally connected as we were once before. He also wished we had deeper, less superficial conversations. All I can say is, he was so different from other guys in the best way possible, and I love him so much, and want him back. I was reading up some stuff about getting your ex back online, but I can’t really afford to buy "The Magic of Making Up". So I’ve decided I’m going to send him an email, what do you think? Where can I improve?

"You know what, I think you’re right. Both of us need a some air, so it’s better off if we’re not together right now. I hope that we can at least be friends now, or even when you come back. We haven’t talked properly in a while, and I have loads to tell you, but when you’re free. I hope to be hearing from you soon."

If he accepts this offer, what would my next moves be?

Technorati Tags: conversations, email, love, magic

What should I do for each of these?
1. we used to be best best friends, and i really loved him, but he got a girlfriend and didn’t talk to me for over a year. just recently we’ve started talking some, and i think i’m falling for him again, even though i’m not sure if he’s worth it

2. we went to the school dance together last weekend and had a really great time, but we haven’t talked since. i want to get to know him better, but i want HIM to pursue ME. that’s just how i am, you can critisize me all you want. i don’t mind innitiating SOME conversations, but how can i just make him want more?

3. he is my ex’s best friend, and he is in love with his friend, but she doesn’t like him back. he’s super sweet, but kind of popular and a lot of girls like him. how can i get him to want ME?

thanks!
oh sorry, i guess it’s not clear. these are all different guys.

Technorati Tags: best friend, best friends, conversations, girlfriend, girls, great time, love, relationship, school dance

My ex dumped me to get back with his ex about a month ago. After that we kept IMing, and he told me he still liked me(I think he’s cute too still). We stopped talking in person to eachother though. But on Friday, in class he started some conversations with me, and said he liked my shirt. I think he’s still dating the girl he broke up with me for, so I’m just wondering why he started talking to me again.

Technorati Tags: conversations, eachother, ex boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a month. He says he is in love with me, he thinks I’m "the one", and already has plans to ask me to marry him when I turn 18 O_O. When we first started going out I really liked him, but I’ve never really felt that connection with him. I don’t feel like I can tell him everything, and I don’t really even feel like I can completely be myself with him. As mean as it may sound, we are on completely different intelectual levels, which makes it hard for me to have good conversations with him. My mom is also not very fond of him, to the point where she has forbidden me from seeing him.
Now, my ex and I dated for 5 months, and it had ended on a bad note. Since we broke up, he aquired a new girlfriend, but they just recently broke up. We have started talking again, and I think we’ve both realized how much we miss being with each other. We really did have that special connection you want to have. We have alot in common, he was and probably still is, my best guy friend. I tell him everything and he tells me everything. My mom loves him, he’s pretty much everything she would want me to find in a guy. The other day he told me that he still loves me, but he doesn’t want to cause any trouble for me. I do still love him.
So my question is, should I stay with my boyfriend and see if any feelings will develop? Or should I break up with him and see what happens with my ex? Please help, this has been eating at me for weeks.

Technorati Tags: 5 months, conversations, ex boyfriend, feelings, girlfriend, guy friend, love, mom, new girlfriend

any time a call is made from or to the magic jack phone, can i set the computer up to record the conversations?

it is MY computer.

Technorati Tags: Computer Audio, Computer Phone, conversations, Magic 97, magic jack, phone calls

After three years of marriage, my wife has told me is going to file for divorce. (We decided to separate in August with the initial intent to just take a "time out" of the marriage, but while she was off on her own, I imagine she decided that her life (and stress level) would be lower without me.)

In recent conversations we’ve had, she said she needs to be on her own to figure out what she wants in life, and doesn’t have the energy to devote to being a "good wife".

I haven’t given up on the marriage, but apparently she has. I tried to talk her out of moving foward with the divorce, but she seems pretty determined. The only thing I can think of as a "last gasp" effort is to convince her not to divorce, but to legally separate, and stay apart for a while more while we work on our own issues.

Yet in several good books I’m reading, they say that if I really want to save our marriage, I need to let her work through the process SHE wants to go through (so she doesn’t feel controlled), and if during the process she sees that that things have really started to change (in me), maybe she’ll cancel the divorce.

At the risk of sounding sexist, I’d like to get thoughts from women, and married women in particular, who have been at the same place as my wife is now, and what they did or didn’t do during this period.

BTW, our marriage problems didn’t involve physical abuse or infidelity. Just a lot of emotional issues from past marriages, a "Brady-Bunch nightmare family dynamic" as a blended famiy, and some addiction problems on both sides. I don’t need advise or info on the legal ramifications of divorce vs legal separation. I know all those.

Technorati Tags: addiction problems, brady bunch, conversations, divorce, divorce separation, emotional issues, good books, good wife, infidelity, initial intent, last gasp, legal ramifications, legal separation, marriage, marriage problems, Married Women, nightmare, physical abuse, risk, stress level, time out

We were ok, if not totally doting in recent years, spent quality time and went away on holidays short trips. My company struggled and my income dropped. I was too proud to involve her, later scared to. about my debts…you pay one to the detriment of another, he who shouts louder usually got sorted 1st. Result being in recent years, about 6, she has had to pay for everything, which she did willingly, but the drip drip conversations with our divorced and separated friends moaning about their Exes and asking if i did this why did she do that, combined with my own failings to deal effectively with my debts and her finding out about them in stages. and my failure to actually say the words "I LOVE YOU" finally came to a head last Christmas. We have tried to sort things out. We went to some sort of councilling at the Church, I cried, then asked why I was crying as she was the one that was hurt….seemed a stupid question to me. I ll leave it there, but as you would expect, there are a lot of other points to raise. What I would like answered is How do I encourage her to love me again. Particularly as within 3 weeks of my sleeping in a local Bedsit she was seeing another guy moved all my clothes out of our wardrobes his clothes haninging in their place and sharing by bed with her, also parking his black Sports car in my garage.

Technorati Tags: 33 Years, bedsit, christmas, clothes, conversations, councilling, debts, detriment, drip drip, exes, failure, holidays, last christmas, love, Money Problem, quality time, short trips, Shouts, sports car, stupid question

Hey everyone… well I was with this guy (eric) for at least 3 or 4 months and we had been friends for at least a year. but anyway we had arguments everyday over small petty things but they never last long, he has dumped me 4 times since we’ve been together (including this time), but I love him and about a two or three weeks ago he told me he loved me and we had been having conversations about meeting each others family and he kept telling me I was his baby and he wanted to be with me.. so last week he dumped me saying "AS MUCH AS HE LOVES ME HE DOESNT THINK HE CAN HAVE A LONG TERM REALTIONSHIP WITH ME AND THAT HE DOESNT SEE US GETTING BACK 2GETH4 EITHER.." and later that day messes around with another girl and says he doesnt regret breaking up with me… I really just want him back in my life and try to make things work but he told my friend he’s enjoying the freedom and i can tell hes happy… What should I do/say?

please help…
Broken Hearted Girl

Technorati Tags: 4 months, contact, conversations, freedom, Friends, hey everyone, love, messes, quot, realtionship

Broke up with the ex boyfriend about a year ago because I was in love with him and "he wasnt there yet". He was in the middle of the police academy which I know was very difficult for him and trying to be in a relationship and going through that is a lot. Throughout the year, we kept finding one another at random events even though he had moved an hour and a half away. We never talked about getting back together but we did hookup a few times, the last being about six months ago and we havent seen/talked to each other since. The other day I get an invite to his graduation party from the academy. And then the other night he showed up to a dinner that our friends had. He kept starting conversations with ME, asking ME questions. He text me and asked me why I was being so quiet and when i said that I didnt realize I had been he stated that he just wanted to make sure that everything was ok(something that caught me off guard) And after I left he text me that it was nice seeing me and that it itll be nice to see me again at his graduation party, it has been too long. His this way of trying to get back into my life? Im so confused about his actions and what his possible intentions might be. Any help trying to understand this situation will be VERY helpful

Technorati Tags: amp, conversations, ex boyfriend, graduation party, hookup, hour and a half, love, police academy, random events, relationship, six months

Why is it that republican and religious and secular conservatives continue make family values an election issue. The issue of family values and morality was ONE of the hallmark reasons for the Republican take-over of congress and it was also used as a theme during Bush’s first run for office.

Read the list of “hypocrites” below and respond whether or not you think that family values was/is a “SMOKE SCREEN” to win favor and votes

POPULAR SCANDALS

1.Senator Larry Craig, recently pleaded guilty to lued homosexual acts in an Airport. He still defiantly claims that he is not gay.

2.Mark Foley, had phone sex and indecent conversations with male pages.

3.George W. Bush, Republican president, accused in a criminal complaint and lawsuit of raping Margie Schoedinger, who later committed suicide. Accused by Tammy Phillips, a former stripper quoted in the National Enquirer in 2000 saying she had an affair with Bush that had ended in 1999

4.Senator David Vitter (R-La) who ran a hard-core platform on traditional family values, name was found on a Madams list. He told his constituents that it was a “private issue” and to leave him alone.

5.Arnold Schwarzenegger, Republican governor, had sex with a 16 year old when he was 28.

6.Joe Scarborough, former Republican Congressman, currently a conservative talk show host. Resigned his congressional seat abruptly to spend more time with his family, amidst allegations of an affair. His intern, Lori Klausutis, was soon after found dead in his office. The medical examiner, who had his license revoked in Missouri for falsifying information in an autopsy report, and suspended in Florida for six years, ruled the case an accident, after giving conflicting information about her injuries. He said he lied about them because "The last thing we wanted was 40 questions about a head injury."

7.John E. Peterson, Congressman (R-Pa), accused of sexual harassment and creation of a hostile work environment by six women. Peterson has refused to admit a crime, saying only "I may have been an excessive hugger."

8.Henry Hyde, Judge who oversaw Clinton’s impeachment proceedings, prominent opponent of reproductive rights, who had an extramarital affair with a woman who was married and had three children, during the course of which she and her husband were divorced.

9.Newt Gingrich, married three times. Gingrich campaign worker Anne Manning admitted that she gave Newt oral sex while he was still married to his first wife. Informed one wife he was filing for divorce while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer treatments

10.Richard A. Dasen Sr., Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, convicted of sexual abuse of children, promotion of prostitution and several counts of solicitation, enough to add up to a sentence of 126 years in prison

Conservative Personalities and Figure Scandals

1.Paul Crouch Televangelist, Former President of Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). Paid 5,000 in hush money in an attempt to cover up a gay affair.
2.Ted Haggard, popular conservative pastor who advised Bush on Family Values issues was outed by a male prostitute who also alleged that he gave Haggard drugs.
3.Rush Limbaugh, triple-divorcee
4.Bill O’Reilly Right-wing conservative talk show host on Fox News, sued for sexual harassment by his producer.
5.Dr. Laura Schlessinger, right wing conservative radio host. Promotes family values, estranged from her mother, opposes birth control, has had her tubes tied, espouses saving oneself for marriage, admits to having had sex before she was married, opposes adultery, has committed adultery while she was married, and has slept with a married man, opposes divorce, is divorced and remarried, has posed for nude photos which are available online.

There are many, many, many more. I know that I am going to be accused of being repub-coserv-basher. I am not, I know the democrats have just as many scandals if not more. However, I think that the whole PLATFORM OF CONSERVATIVE FAMILY VALUES IS A DISINGENIOUS strategy to rally votes and to swing elections. THIS LIST DEMONSTRATES THE FACT THAT NO ONE PRACTICES WHAT THEY PREACH!!!
I also believe that we are all human and everyone makes mistakes, but it is VERY HYPOCRITICAL to impose ideas that these “cultural-icons” don’t keep!
(((What are your thoughts???)))))))

Technorati Tags: amp, arnold schwarzenegger, autopsy report, conservative talk show host, Conservatives, conversations, core platform, Criminal Complaint, david vitter, Election Issue, Family Values, George W Bush, Hallmark, homosexual acts, hostile work environment, Hypocrites, joe scarborough, john e peterson, larry craig, lori klausutis, Lued, margie schoedinger, mark foley, Morality, national enquirer, Phone Sex, republican congressman, Republican President, Scandals, senator david vitter, senator larry craig, sexual harassment, Smoke Screen, Suckers, talk show host, traditional family values

I have been married for just over 9 years. No kids. My wife recently found out about my four month affair with another married woman. It was mainly texts and about 6 face to face encounters. We only had sex once. But that was once too many, I admit. I love my wife with all my heart and don’t even think of the woman who I had the affair with. My wife says she wants a divorce and is tired of my accusations and criticizing her of having relationships with her guy friends. She says she’s been unhappy the last 2 years. Now this. I have apologized to her, the one I had the affair with, and the the husband of the one I had the affair with. I believe I have done the first step in realizing that I want to save my marriage. Second I have apologized and continuously do on somewhat of a continuous basis as our conversations have been just text since I’m away from home for work, overseas, for another 2 weeks. She says I would do it again if we stayed together but I assured her, that I would not. She has told me it’s over and to quit communication w/ her and to leave her alone. Not sure if she’s talked to an attorney yet or not.I love her with all my heart and don’t know what else to do or say. I don’t want to buy her anything fancy as she’ll think I’m trying to buy her back. I’ve come to a fork in the road and don’t know what direction to go to from here. I don’t know if I should give her time to be alone the next 2 weeks or so, or continue communication via texts but it has ended in "leave me alone" after every short conversation in the last week. I need direction of what "I" should and need to do in your response. Thanks for your time and advice.

Technorati Tags: accusations, continuous basis, conversations, divorce, fork in the road, guy friends, heart, love, marriage, married woman, relationships, texts, thanks for your time

I have been married for just over 9 years. No kids. My wife recently found out about my four month affair with another married woman. It was mainly texts and about 6 face to face encounters. We only had sex once. But that was once too many, I admit. I love my wife with all my heart and don’t even think of the woman who I had the affair with. My wife says she wants a divorce and is tired of my accusations and criticizing her of having relationships with her guy friends. She says she’s been unhappy the last 2 years. Now this. I have apologized to her, the one I had the affair with, and the the husband of the one I had the affair with. I believe I have done the first step in realizing that I want to save my marriage. Second I have apologized and continuously do on somewhat of a continuous basis as our conversations have been just text since I’m away from home for work, overseas, for another 2 weeks. She says I would do it again if we stayed together but I assured her, that I would not. She has told me it’s over and to quit communication w/ her and to leave her alone. Not sure if she’s talked to an attorney yet or not.I love her with all my heart and don’t know what else to do or say. I don’t want to buy her anything fancy as she’ll think I’m trying to buy her back. I’ve come to a fork in the road and don’t know what direction to go to from here. I don’t know if I should give her time to be alone the next 2 weeks or so, or continue communication via texts but it has ended in "leave me alone" after every short conversation in the last week. Thanks for your time and advice.

Technorati Tags: accusations, continuous basis, conversations, divorce, fork in the road, guy friends, heart, love, marriage, married woman, relationships, Sex, texts, thanks for your time

I live in Japan. My wife and I have always had communication problems. We fight a lot. From my perspective she is either in passive aggressive mode or simply aggressive mode most of the time. The odd thing is while she is hostile and uncompromising to me she has completely different things to say about me and her hopes when she talks about me to her mother.

We both thought we needed a break so we agreed she would take my child and visit her mother for a month. I tried to just not communicate and let things cool off and succeeded for a couple of weeks but when I called and tried to talk to her or my son she kept brushing me off even in the shortest conversations. This blew up into yet another fight over the phone after which she told me she would return to start divorce proceedings. After she came back I tried to let her cool off and made serious efforts to deal with my temper which in her view was the problem. I also tried to engage her in some actual dialog but the only thing she would talk about is divorce.

The thing is I also was in conversation with her mother who insisted that my wife was interested in repairing the marriage and that I could not take what she said at face value. No matter what I tried my wife simply would not engage in any kind of constructive conversation, and would only talk about divorce or separation.

Desperate to do anything to get her to cool off I agreed that she and my boy should go back and spend some more time with her mother. She liked that but said she wanted to go the next day. I did not know how long it would be until I could see my son again so I asked her to give me a couple of days with him so I could say good by and take him to disney land. I thought it was a reasonable request but she said "no". Impasse. The following day, she disappeared with him. After a week and a day she contacted her mother and we now know she has been in a shelter for abused women. I was not abusing her. We were not even raising our voices at each other. It seems she just wanted to deny me, the guy who is buying her plane tickets to be with her mother, a couple of days with our son.

In all our conversations she acknowledges that I am a great dad and I am, I get him up in the morning dress him feed him and take him to the bus stop, I also put him to bed most nights. In action I have been as much a mother to him, especially over the last two or three years than she has. So she keeps saying she wants us to raise our boy together, but her idea of "together" is she takes him to live in another town 500 miles away and I can see him when I can both take time off work and raise the plane fare. Plane fare is not cheap in japan and I am not a rich man, so that is simply a totally dishonest idea or an insane misrepresentation of what is practical.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to save my marriage because I love my boy more than anything in the world and I want him to have a mamma and a papa. I also want to repair the relationship with my wife but simply cannot get her to engage.

I have never felt so hopelessly depressed in my life.

Technorati Tags: abused women, communication problems, conversations, couple of days, dialog, different things, disney, disney land, divorce proceedings, face value, impasse, japan, marriage, perspective, temper

My ex has started calling asking questions about things going on in my life and actually talking to me about what she is doing, something she never did right after we broke up, she called me one night to tell me that my favorite author had a new book out. A night or two later she called and told me she had bought the book for me and told me to come to her place and pick it up she would put it in her car for me. She ended up not being home, but i did get the book out of her car. During some of our conversations she has told me that she doesnt want anything to do with an ex she has been off and on with for four years part of the reason we broke up, she says she doesnt hold anything against anyone anymore, i wasnt completely innocent either when we broke up, she also said she has been on her own little world. For about a week and a half she was calling near daily, now i havent heard from her for a week and a half. Also something else i noticed is that if she senses i am seeing someone else or something i do suggests i am with someone new she seems to get upset. She also said she talks to me more then her friends. I would love to work things out with her is she trying to tell me she wants the same or just a friendship? What do i do wait and see or call and ask?
i guess i should have added im not seeing anyone

Technorati Tags: conversations, friendship, own little world