Have you been reading any romantic relationship psychology in a bid to discover why you and your partner don’t appear to be getting on very well? If so I would suggest you stop before you end up driving yourself nuts.
There are a huge number of relationship philosophy and psychology books out on the market but every one you read appears to contradict the others. In a recent interview, even Dr Phil, the relationship expert,admitted that most therapist and counselors don’t know how to fix a partnership. Sure they will give you the theory and the reasons behind some types of behavior, but whether that sorts out your particular problem is more a matter of luck than anything else. Often they come from a background of broken relationships, but you won’t know this as your counselor never divulges their personal details to their clients.
Every partnership is different and while some issues between men and women i.e. who wants more sex, who does the most housework, who earns the most money, who minds the kids more often; can be similar. However at the end of the day the issues you are facing are as a direct result of who you and your partner are.
Does that mean you can’t find help? Of course not but you don’t need a relationship psychology course to do it. What you need is a great self help book that will help you to communicate and relate to your partner better. Something for both of you to read and share.
I suggest the Magic of Making Up as it is written by a man which is rather unusual to start with. Mr Jackson is very happily married and committed to helping his clients either become that way or remain that way. You only have to read some of the comments from his readers to see what impact the book had on their lives. Perhaps you have come to the end of your partnership, as I am not going to lie and say every relationship can be saved, but at least wait before making your decision until you read this book. Then you will be armed with the knowledge to make the right decision for you, your partner and if appropriate your kids.
It takes guts to admit that there are issues in your partnership that need working on. It is so much easier to put your head in the sand and hope that they will go away. But the sad fact is that most won’t disappear for good. They may go away for a little while but they will come back and perhaps even worse than before. Problems have a way of developing a life of their own if they are not dealt with quickly and efficiently.
You and your partner have invested a lot in each other and so you should be willing to take one more step to try to prevent a breakup. So forget about studying relationship psychology and instead concentrate on making each other happy once again.
Are you wondering what to say to save a relationship? This articles gives you some very useful and practical tips on how you can keep being with your heart’s chosen one, even though you have been through a lot of problems together.
Whether you want to save your marriage or are talking about saving a long distance relationship, you need help. You could try marriage counseling or even doing a course like relationship rescue. But for most of us, we don’t want to air our dirty laundry in public; even if it is with someone who has heard it all before or at least something similar.
We want to cure our relationship woes in private. How do I know? Why would there be shelves full of books on dealing with relationship problems if we were all ready to use counselors. There is a billion dollar industry involved in producing books, DVDs and courses on how to fix your own partnership issues.
This would not exist if there weren’t loads of people willing to pay good money for these products. Unfortunately while there are some great books out there some of the material produced will do more harm than good. So you need to be careful what you read and whose advice you listen to.
Men and women are wired differently. It is not just cultural but physical differences in our brain that we are trying to overcome when communicating with members of the opposite sex. On average women have a more developed hearing and language center in their brain which may explain why traditionally they make better communicators.
Men are programmed to fight first and ask questions later. This again is a result of genetics and not a judgment on men. You can perhaps understand why it is difficult to discuss the problems you may be experiencing. But you have to learn how to communicate properly or you will either end up alone or even worse, incredibly lonely while still involved in a relationship.
A great partnership means that you have to share common interests. You have to be able to trust each other and have the facility to discuss how you are feeling without being worried about retribution. You both have to be allowed to be honest even when what you are saying is not what the other person wants to hear. This is not the same as you have the right to hurt one another. Wanting to inflict emotional pain on your partner is not one of the hallmarks of a successful relationship.
Do you know how to notice the signs your ex still loves you? If not, you need to get to know them now before you lose your heart’s chosen one forever.
So what should you be looking for? Is your ex suddenly turning up everywhere you go? I don’t mean in a way that would suggest stalking you but in a casual just happened to be at the same place type way? Don’t forget that your ex knows you intimately so it wouldnt be difficult to work out where you are going to be. The fact he/she is making this effort to find you would suggest he or she wants you back.
Is he or she always smiling and well dressed? Again these are big clues that they want to rekindle romance with you as the advice is always to appear happy and well turned out as nobody wants to be with someone miserable.
Have they taken to calling or texting you about little things? Are they looking for excuses to talk to you? If this is the case, this is the strongest signal yet that they want you back. Do you want them back? If so, why not ask them to meet and sit down and have a chat. I don’t believe in the rule that you should always wait for the other person to make the first move. You could end up waiting your entire life and that would be a waste for everyone involved.
On the other hand you could find that your ex has disappeared into the sunset and is not to be found. This could also be a sign that they want you back but are following the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” approach. I don’t understand why people bother with this technique as if you are not available to talk, how can you fix a problem in your relationship? But a lot of counselors suggest it as a way of dealing with a break up and unfortunately their clients listen. Worse still, some people will advise your ex to start dating someone else in the hope that this makes you jealous. I don’t know about you but I would get angry if my ex did this to me but I suppose it would get my attention. I would never suggest to anyone they try this tactic as it could so easily backfire and it is never right to play with another person’s emotions.
If you are looking for more hints on how to get your ex back, you should read the Magic of Making Up by T W Jackson. Just head over and read the testimonials to see how often this book has helped couples get back on track on the road to relationship happiness. Couples just don’t say together through luck. Those in happy partnerships are there because they work at it and spend time together helping to deepen the bond that began with the initial attraction. If you want your ex back, go and get them and work together to try and find a way to rekindle the love and passion you both once shared.
Although I am in love with her, I do realize it’s probably for the best. She is much younger and has life ahead of her. Settling down is just not what she needs right now.
I tend to allow relationship issues to affect me too much. Anxiety always gets the best of me. I’ve been to counselors (psychologists, psychiatrists) for previous issues like this, yet it continues to happen. I’m looking for additional thoughts as to how others handle it. I know it takes time to heal, but what do YOU do to get over the loss of a love?
my husband and i have been to 3 different counselors, we’ve tried alot, we don’t agree on anything from housework to free time, we don’t fight effectively but we fight everyday, sometimes i hate him, i don’t know what else to do. i love him but it’s like we never should have ended up together so what do i do?
let me add we’re having a baby
Have you been reading any romantic relationship psychology in a bid to discover why you and your partner don’t appear to be getting on very well? If so I would suggest you stop before you end up driving yourself nuts.
