My fiance of a year last week broke up with me through an email and the next day, he met someone new and is now "in love" in a relationship. We have been unhappy for a couple weeks now and ever since he had surgery, he’s been very weird and it doesn’t help that he drinks a lot too. Apparently, this new relationship is an online fling. Up until a couple weeks ago we never had trust issues and we were a great team. We were best friends before we started dating.
Now I feel lost and uncertain. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll return or not. How do I move on without thinking of him and her together? How can I move on without him? I feel like I’m dying inside 
btw, I never saw this chick show up until last week the day before we broke up and I have confirmation that it’s a brand new thing. He hasn’t started drinking heavily until after the surgery. Up until then, we never had trust/cheating issues.
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My boyfriend/fiance and I were together for over 7 years, mostly happy, and very much in love. We planned to marry when he finished college (which he ended up dropping out of once he broke off our relationship).
4 months ago, he broke up with me one night (out of the blue) crying his eyes out because while he still swore he loved me and wanted to marry me, he "needed to find himself." He said there was no other woman but did not want me to wait for him. When we talked a couple weeks later, he said this was the best thing for both of us because he felt like he lost himself in the relationship and now he is free to be himself.
That really hurt. I wasn’t the nagging type and didn’t keep him from doing things. I feel unfairly blamed! We barely spent time together anymore and I didn’t even call him that much.
But now I’m at a point where I feel embarassed! I feel embarrassed that I didn’t see it before. He must have stopped having feelings for me…or else he would not have seen me as pressure, a burden.
I am going through something with my best female friend—where I feel like she is not giving me enough space–and wonder if my fiance felt the same way about me! Yet…I did give him plenty of space. The truth must have just been that he didn’t want me in his life anymore.
Was I just his comfort zone? I feel so embarassed.
Just to clarify, I suffered the usual grief–denial, idealizing him, anger, sadness…now I’m just kind of "waking up" to the fact that he simply didn’t want me anymore…and feel dumb for not seeing it before.
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About a month ago, my fiance decided I could do alot better than him and we weren’t "in love" anymore. The wedding was called off. He moved out. For about the past couple weeks he’s been calling me and texting me saying that he made the biggest mistake of his life, etc. He came over unannounced a couple of times. He even came by my work yesterday with flowers! I was pissed! FYI, we were together for seven years. I mean I was confused before he wanted me back, and now I’m sooo confused. Part of the problem was that he was unemployed. He just got hired with a temp agency, but doesn’t even work everyday. Not my idea of a job. I know that I’m not just going to take him back. But its just a really hard and emotionally exhausting scenario. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
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last i saw him or talked to him was last December. We have been broken up for 2 years now but still saw eachother even after i moved out of his place and 3 hours away. I moved back in to town last november. We still occasionally saw eachother, but only every few months… Just last week he text me out of the blue. Telling me he got a DUI back in january and had been sober for 6 months. He thought not talking to me would make me forget him but "how could i?" I love the guy! He wanted me to fill him in on my life, and what ive been up to… I played cool the best I could, but inside I was going crazy!!! 
Does he want to maybe start seeing eachother again? I know we have to take things slow. The diversion classes and AA meetings made him look at himself and figure out what he wants to be. He told me he wants to be a better person and have a better family relationship. This guy is a bullshitter and total guy…. doesnt express himself at all like he did that night he was texting me. I truely care for him ALOT! and have missed him terribly… I dont want to mess up this possible second chance to get him back. He invited me to a party he may be having in a couple weeks and im STOKED! but also nervious as HELL cuz its been so damn long! I need some feedback and ideas… Hes a Leo and Im a Cancer, if anyones in to the zodiac….. THANKS!
~S~
Thanks for the responses so fast! I just started doing this site. I think its AWESOME! ~~~~ I wanted to add that him an I had never had a serious relationship AT ALL before we met and started dating. We took everything slow. I was 19 and he was 20. Both working an independent… but i was so ready to be serious and i think he got scared. ~~~~ I do not plan on staying the night at this lil party hes having and If i cant drive Im pitchin my own tent… NO SEX. we allready know its good. LOL OMG i juist cant wait to see him. But… IM COOL… im cool…. I have to be….
Oh…. after i asked him why he couldnt talk to me when he was sober, he answered that, he wanted to, but was worried about my emotions. He knows how much i care for him, cuz i never let him forget it. I had drunk dialed him plenty of times throughout the year and text him, yet nothing til now. I thought I may have just been digging the hole bigger by all the messeges…. but they were from my heart. My favorite qoute is: ~~" IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, YOU SURE AS HELL DONT DESERVE MY BEST!"~~ That i think goes for both of us in this situation. LOL
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Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for 5 months and we broke twice because he thought i wasn’t happy in the relationship and when he asked me back out he told me it was because he was afraid that i was getting so close to his heart. we were having a great time until the day b4 New years Eve 2008 i went skating with my friend and he husband and husband’s brother and we were hanging out. i put myself in a stupid situation because i went drinking with her and her husband’s brother kissed me. when i told my boyfriend i was still alittle drunk and he was angry but we just went to sleep when i came over to his house that night. then the next day on new years eve he came over 2 my house and broke up with me. he said it was the only rule he’s ever had was not cheating but honestly he’s a hypocrite because he used 2 cheat on his girlfriends, he just never cheated on me. so it was a terrible breakup because i was stunned, i was trying 2 explain and he was trying to leave my room and i kept trying to keep him there to listen 2 me. i m overly sensitive which he should know that and i understand that he’s been hurt before but i want him to know that i love only him and i just want to make him happy, i mean he has nothing and he said i was the best thing that happened to him and he’s the best thing that happend to me. so then a couple weeks ago i went to hangout at his house cuz his friends are mine and he told me it was hard to be around me cuz he kept looking at me and these guys had bet on me and to assure him that i wasn’t there to annoy him i told him i wasn’t looking at him or bothering him and he said he wasn’t mad at me he just wanted some time. then he left the house and i slept there. then last friday i went over his house to apologize and he said he didn’t want to talk and he ignored me and stayed in the kitchen the whole time. i told me friend there that i wasn’t gonna be back for a while maybe a month so that he can heal properly. i just figured if i came over he’d want me back like last time because when we broke up he said he would prefer me not coming over to the house as much because we’d end up back together like last time. but i do want him back. i’m just afraid that time will make him not love me or want me anymore. what should i do?
p.s. people have told me that he needs time and others say that i should move on because i deserve better and honestly i know i deserve better because i my ex is a hippy who’s life ambition is to smoke pot and chill but he does want to make something of himself one day he just doesn’t know how and i want to help him. I love him so much, i’ve been depressed and in my room the whole week.
btw, i also stopped the guy and told him i wanted to go home. My ex just wonders why i put myself in that situation when i should’ve just come home. i just wanted to have alittle fun with my friend that i hadn’t seen for a year and she was married now and all grown up. i told my ex that i pushed the guy away because i did, the guy just tried to take advantage of me.
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