Recently, I have found out that my ex-boyfriend of 5 years have cheated on me and obviously hid it from me for about 2 months before I checked his phone and found out. He was not a very good boyfriend even before that happened. He was lazy, unmotivated, and didn’t really want to work for anything..I paid for most of the things and activities we did like dinners and movies. He is broke and is in debt from when he was younger and blew out many credit cards. I stuck around through everything with him, while he became homeless and broke to trying to get back on his feet. He became more and more disrespectful though over the years. Fighting with him was also very hard because everytime we fought, he’d walk out and stay away for hours while I cried and begged for him to come back…which of course he didn’t until he felt like it which was hours and hours later.
So with that said, I have also found out that he has lied to me about things before the cheating. He wouldn’t tell me that he allowed a very flirtatious (girl)friend sleep there before she had to go to work. He claimed they didn’t do anything but after finding out that he cheated on me, I cannot believe many many things he say now. Our trust is out the window but I recently threw in his face that I slept with someone else too, after the fact, of course.
After 2 weeks after I busted him, he didn’t once call me or text me, and according to our mutual best friend, he didn’t even ask about me. But now he says he’s a changed man. He had seen things all wrong and that he really wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Of course, that sounds impossible right now because even looking at him makes me think about all the lies he told to get what he wanted. I have made him feel worst and worst though by telling him of my sexual experiences after I left him. I also told him that I wanted to be on my own for a while and do things that I wanted to do.
So I know this is long and I really appreciate anyone who can help. I have asked him to give me a couple of weeks to myself to just think everything through. I have to think about him whether or not I could ever trust him again. I have to put aside something that I truly believed in and that’s that cheating breaks everything, and once you do that, I’m gone. Right now, he says that he wants to work through everything and anything with me. He is willing to pay for what he did and he understands that asking for me back is a selfish thing to do, but that’s what he wants. He guarantees me, no more lies…
I can’t bear to even think about getting f*cked over twice. I’d rather start NEW with someone else and if I get hurt with that person too, then at least I know I tried. I have given my all to this guy for as long as I’m with him and many many times, I have felt miserable. Our relationship was not a good one but now he says that he is willing to change. He understand that this cannot happen overnight but he wants to love me forever. He says he will never speak to her again and tell me the truth about everything from now on. He is willing the endure the pain I will put him through in order to get through it and love me more than he loves himself and will do anything to prove it. What should I do? Should I even consider anything with him again? Of course I understand, whatever I decide, I should take the time out and see what kind of "changes" he is willing to implement because I really didn’t like the person he was. Besides the time I will take for myself to really think about everything…what should I do? Thanks
He keeps calling me and telling me that I’m sorry. But I can’t get over it all yet. But he’s really trying. He wants to take me out, do all these things for me, and it’s putting a toll on me. It’s so much pressure. Should I keep saying no? Plus I do want to explore my options. If I get hurt by some other guy, am I going to want to run back to the one who I know is there? What should I do? I want what’s best for me with the minimum damage to him.
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