My Girlfriend Has a Very Bad Depression

My girlfriend has very bad depression, and she is very mean to me!

How do I get her to stop these mood swings?

My girlfriend has a depression problem, in which she has been hospitalized for 2 times. Her problem is, she will be on medication and will find something that will work, but than after she feels good she than thinks she no longer needs her meds. Than she has a relapse of the mood swings, depression, anxiety, panic attacks.

Which in turn, she will become mean, and vicious. I will call her and say “hi honey I am just getting out of work,” and she will pick a fight and than say horrible things and want to break up with me! Than an hour or 2hrs later sometimes the next day she will call up appologizing and feeling horrible.

This is getting to me, because I love her, and I am emotional and very caring and do not like being mentally abused. She knows she needs to get back on her meds, it’s just the time from now til when they start to work.

What should I do?

THANKS!


Related Information:

How do I respond to: "Is your problem biological or psychological? If it is psychological, DEAL WITH IT!"?

I tried to explain that biology exacerbates psychology and if a person is severely traumatized and abused from a very young age, psychology BECOMES biology, which is why Psychiatric Medications work.

If, say, depression is all "In your head" and can be controlled through sheer force of will, why would antidepressant medications work?

I have Borderline Personality Disorder, depression, anxiety, and PTDS. These things have been diagnosed by a Psychiatrist and I am trying my best to "maintain" through the use of multiple reuptake inhibitors and, ironically enough, sheer force of will but it feels like a losing batter.

I told my father a few days ago that I was just having "A really bad day" because I was depressed to the point of crying that day and had spent the whole night waking up unable to breath because of the panic attacks… I had done all I could that day just to not cut myself but didn’t succeed totally and had clawed at my arms and exacerbated a number of small wounds I had picked in myself over the last few days…

He asked me flat out what, specifically, was causing this and I responded with "I have no idea… If I knew what triggered all of this, I would be able to prevent it!"

He demanded to know if what I was dealing with was Psychological or Biological… Because if it is "Just Psychological" to DEAL with it and stop making myself miserable.

At this point, the Borderline Personality Disorder’s tendency to flip the hell out in anger took hold and I had to leave the room before I threw something at him.

As if I were doing this for attention!?!?!?

As if I were doing this "To Myself" for what? WHAT?

Why on earth would I WANT to be unable to have close relationships with anyone?

Why on earth would I WANT to never be able to sleep because I keep having nightmares and panic attacks in the middle of the nigh?

Why on earth would I WANT to swing back and forth from depressed to outright hostile ALL THE TIME?

Why on earth would I WANT to be pissed off at the whole of the world?

Sometimes I’m barely able to dress myself, let alone get EVERYTHING I need to do done day in and day out… I’m just trying to stop thinking about killing myself long enough to get the invoices processed… I’m on medication… I’ve sought all kinds of therapy but don’t have money for it… Therapists just RAPE their patients with 0.00 an hour bills and then try to sell you a .00 bottle of "Noni Juice" that CURES depression AND causes you to lose weight without exercise! *MAGIC!*

I’m TRYING to cope with this… I really am… But what else can I do?

I have my family telling me I’m doing all of this "For Attention" or that I can just "Think Happy Thoughts"…

How on earth can I explain how severe childhood abuse… having your own mom put a gun to your head… Telling you she can kill you any time she likes… Having her beat the crap out of you because you poured her vodka down the drain… Watching the same mom put a bullet in her own brain when I was 16… Having an abusive relationship that just mind-raped me… And now trying to cope with just being ALIVE, let alone being productive…

How on earth do you explain all of this to people that tell you to just think happy thoughts or walk it off?


Related Information:

Why does a nice guy, loving and loyal husband, proud father fall out of love with wife of 12 years?

My wife and I have been together for 12 years. The first 10 and a half were loaded with ups and downs as lifes roller coaster moves along. My wife and I have been through tons of good times and tons of bad times as well. She has stuck by my side through thick and thin. She has been there for me every time I have fallen flat on my face to pick me up, brush me off, and set me back on my horse. Why now, after all these years do I feel as though I love her for who she is, but that I feel empty inside myself and that I feel incapable of showing her the love that she deserves and giving her the life I want for her to have. She is so in love with me that it hurts me to hurt her this way. She has had a really negative life before me (negative childhood, negative and abusive first marriage, depression, anxiety, negative influences, etc), and all I want for her is for her to be happy and to have a good life. But, with the loss of my job after being laid off earlier this year, everything has gone down hill, fast. I have had difficulty in obtaining another career which would provide for her the way I want to provide for her. I feel as though I am a failure as a husband, a lover, a friend and, a father. These feelings have caused me to not love myself, much less anyone else. I fear that all I have done over the last year is hurt her, but she won’t tell me so. I sense it, I feel it, I see it. Our financial stability down the drain, in a negative balance in all of our bank accounts as we are overdrawn, my retirement account tapped out, our investments sold off and the funds used up, potentially on the verge of bankruptcy, our financially secure future up in smoke (??). What makes this more difficult for me is that we have an 11 yr old son together. Our son knows we are having difficulties and he is also aware that his mother and I may be on the verge of seperation/divorce. She is doing all she can, as she always has, to support me, help me, be there for me, but all I do is turn her away and I can’t help but think that if I can’t provide what I want for her, then, it’s best to let her go. I am in extreme turmoil and duress. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, have no feeling, no emotion, an empty shell, can’t make love, but, I LOVE HER, and I can’t show her. I can tell her, but the words feel as though they are hollow when I hear myself say it. She feels it. She senses it.
I fear that my own pride, my own fear, my own anxiety, my own issues are tearing me apart inside, and, therein, tearing apart my relationship with her. For the love that I have for her, I feel that it is best to stop dragging her down with me. I think it best to let her go so that she can go on with her life and not go down in flames with me. She says "…for better or for worse…", but, how can I continue to hurt her by not being able to provide her the life I promised myself and her that I would do my best to give. I pride myself in not hurting ANYONE, but here I am, hurting the one person in my life that has loved me for me, the one person I swore to hold and cherish til death do I part. I have told her that I do love her, but that I am just incapable of showing her. I have told her that I feel it is best for her to leave me so that she does not watch the man she married fall to shambles. I feel that if it was meant to be, and the love that we had was real all along, love will return her to me when I am stable again, but, how much more can I hurt her due to my own failures. Help. I am losing it, I am losing everything I am and I feel as though I have come to the end of my only opportunity to love for eternity.
Oh, and by the way, I am 35, she is 39. She has so much more in store for her out there than I can be and she does not need a failure for a husband. She says, supportively of course, that I am not a failure, but until I can feel in myself that I am not a failure, I can’t believe it from her or anyone else.


Related Information:

Are these some signs my ex might want me back?

we were together for 15 months, lived together for 6 months. we are both 20. we broke up because he felt "smothered" by me, i have since worked on those issues with a therapist i see every week and im currently taking medication for depression/anxiety/mood swings. i am in a much better place than i was before. we broke up 2 months ago and for the first month or so we didnt talk much, bcuz it was too hard. i had messaged him on thanksgiving just to tell him i hope he had a good holiday, and we started talking, heres wut happened since:

-told me his ‘rebound’ gf isnt treating him right
-told me he misses my family
-said he still wants me to be in his life
-he has asked my friends about a mutual friend of ours that i had been hanging out with alot, he wanted to know if we were dating
-he got really mad at that friend and they got into an argument, in which he was defending me.

i had kinda ignored most of these just bcuz i didnt want to get my hopes up for nothing but here are the more recent ones:

-he started talking to me everyday, him talking to me first.
-sometimes he will just i/m me to say something random like he saw my uncle at his work or something.
-when i asked him straight up if he wouldnt consider working things out in the future, he said thats not how it is.
-he asked me to print him something and came over my house at 2am to get it, and he stayed til 5am talking and when he left he gave me a hug.
-he told me that i hav nothing to be upset about concerning his gf bcuz they want different things and he doesnt see it lasting very long.
-he texted that friend asking if i was with him, then asking what time i would be home, "can you plz just ask her when she will be home", i texted him and he just wanted to know if i wanted to hang out.
-i hung out with him and his friend that i previously didnt get along with, and we all had a rly good time.
-he i/med me the next day while he was driving home in the car by himself (he usually doesnt text while driving unless someone talks to him first), and he told me that ‘tim’ his friend said things were cool last night, and we are friends again.
-and after that night we hung out, when he dropped me off, he asked if i wanted him to walk me to the door, and i said that i didnt care (which he knows i didnt, he could have just dropped me off and it would have been fine) but he shut the car off and walked me to the door anyway and gave me a hug before he left.

im sorry for how long it is =/ also, he is the most genuine guy, i KNOW he doesnt just want a booty call, hes not like that at all, and he wouldnt try to play any mind games with me…hes just not an asshole. im just wondering if these are just friendly gestures or if it could mean hes thinking about getting back together?

thank you soo much!!
he also told me he still loves me and cares about me.
im fine with the rebound bcuz im not a jealous person, and i know that theres nothing rly there between them and its not going to last…so why waste my time worrying about it. plus, if i flipped out about it, it would only make him defend her out of irritation with me and it would just make me look immature and bitchy (which is wut i have moved past).


Related Information: