I am in the long, entertaining process of writing a novel, and I just wanted to know, from what I put, if it sounds good, bad, or in between. If you have a comment please tell me.
Here it goes:
As planned, I choked once I did see him. The pretty brunette at the front of the room had taken no time to register me into a desk. It’s really, honestly too bad that I had been seated in front of him, definitely. I wasn’t quite sure of why. In my eyes, it was between the fact that I had actually been forced to be near him, and the revulsion I felt because I couldn’t see his face. Either way, I knew we would have to meet, somehow.
Hearing the frantic beat of my own heart is what startled me.
It was not something I could erase-the feeling I got in my stomach when I felt his warm breath over my shoulder. Even though I knew I was already trapped, spoken for, I still wanted my heart to listen to me. This attraction to him was subtle, not a situation I would have ever placed myself in. I could change that, defy destiny. If this was destiny.
So I ignored it. I flung the idea out of my brain and ordered it to never come back. The natural sentiment, however, remained unscathed.
Suddenly, a tingle of warmth touched my shoulder. At first, I was sure he had poked me, but when I turned to reject it, his face stayed steady below, on the sheet of paper he had been scribbling on, and his back was glued to the rear of the chair. Result: nowhere within reach of me.
I could have forgotten, how quickly he seemed to look up, but it would have certainly returned.
“Hello.” His lovely lips moved in a chain reaction. I flinched, bewildered.
It took me almost a quarter of a second before I could even make up a response. “Hi.” One magic word was all I needed to say; nothing fancy.
I’d thought I’d seen it all: the astounding good looks, the silver eyes. But the grin that now played on his lips, was all I needed-wanted- to stop time. It was sideways, crooked, but hopelessly remarkable. There could only be one word for a smile like that: irresistible.
He sat up, and gleefully held out his hand. “I’m Michael Chast,” His voice was almost as enthralling. “And you are?”
Oh, my turn to speak. Wait. I couldn’t remember my name. What was it? “Jaycee Swallows.” Relief.
The smiled hadn’t yet calmed down. “Well, Jaycee Swallows, I would love to show you around, if you’re alright with that?”
Here it goes again. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t talk. What was wrong with me? “Great. That would be great.” No, I didn’t mean to say that.
“Can I see your schedule?”
Word vomit. “Yeah, no problem.” No. No.
Please tell me what you think, and how I can improve, thanks!
Actually, she didnt think he touched her because she was nervous.
To find out what happened, you’ll have to read the whole book, if it ever gets published. 
Wish me good luck!
