He has been on disbility for over a year and has now just went to unemployment. He used to have values and work hard now he’s just a bum and doesnt want to do anyhting but sit at home and not help with anything while im at work. He does watch our daughter and he is a wonderful dad. I just can’t take his new outlook on life. He would be happy to be "Mr. Stay at home Mom" now, when before he loved being the provider. I want him to get motivated and go back to work. He is more than well and able now but just slacks off because he figures since he makes just as much sitting on his a$$ why work. It’s taking a toll on our relationship, arguing over everything it seems like. He’s living in a dream world. I dunno, he’s definately turning into someone i don’t know anymore. Please help! Any advice would be wonderful!
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Not for me – for a friend.
Long story short her parents took her kids – and won’t give them back. She can’t afford a lawyer and the parents obviously have money.
She lost one son to the dad actually – in a divorce custody case because he was told she was running to Alaska. Which she wasn’t (she has had the same job as a longshore man for 13 years now) The parents then took the older son (who is 13) for the weekend and then Monday morning and because they cared for her more than her. She works nights and he would stay the night and she would pick him up from school at night. So they had him already nights and mornings. They now have temporary guardianship and the court investigator looked into it and found no reason for her to have the kids away. She recommended over the summer to have him reincorporated with her, but when they went to court, they ordered and mandatory settlement hearing where they refused to (the parents) to drop the request or to allow her (the mom) to have him.
So now it is set for trial – end of Sept. Sorry if it is confusing….
She is now subpeonaed for records – medical and financial to try to build a case.
She had a break down after she lost the kids and has been to counseling (one her own) and is on disability (temporarily) from the stress of everything.
I have known her for 2 years and used to watch her kids when she was in state and I know she is good to the kids and she has a 2 br apartment and room and everything. She is a good person and I would like to help her. Thank you 
Both kids have told me that they would be like to be at home with their mom – when not in her presence.
***She went to Legal Aid and they said they didn’t have enough resources to take on her case at this time.
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Long story short (well, kind of); I lived at home until I was 23 so my mom and I had more time than most to bond. We are really close and we consider each other our best friend. I moved in with my b/f just 10 miles away in the next town over and was always there to talk to her or visit frequently. My b/f was an immigrant and there was a problem with his visa and he got sent back to his home country just before we were about to get married. I love him with all my heart so I moved to his country to be with him and I couldn’t imagine it any other way because I love him with all of my heart. We got married in his country and I am now living there. This was all early last year. I stayed about 6 months and needed to come back to the U.S. for personal reason and I have been here almost 5 1/2 months but I am leaving in a few weeks to permanently be with him.
The thing is, my mother has been with the same man for 18 years and he treats her horribly. Right after I came back we found out he was seeing another lady and he ended up moving in with her. He’s coming back and forth between the two now playing games with both of them. We live in a very small town and my mother doesn’t have many friends or any hope of finding someone else and truth be told I think she still wants him to come back. One reason is that she can’t financially support herself and my teenage brother that lives with her. She really has no one and I see her devestated that I am leaving although she understands that I have to in order to save my marriage. The man she is seeing (back and forth) is a horrible person and she’s constantly depressed because of his actions and my brother adds to that. He is disrespectful and out of control. He cusses her, calls her names, and really treats her like a piece of crap. I feel so bad leaving here there all alone but I realize I am an adult now and I have to get on with my life.
She’s on disability and has no job to occupy her time. She sits around everyday doing basically nothing and has started to drink more and more.
I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading such a long question!
I wish my mother would come with me. She’s not as open minded as I am about moving to a different country and she’s dead set on having my brother finish school where he is and not having to sell her house, etc.
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