I found out after divorcing my ex that he got a woman pregnant during our marriage.?

My ex husband and I were married June 28, 2002. The relationship quickly went downhill (he was abusive), and I finally kicked him out mid-January 2003. Our divorce was finalized in October of 2003. During the divorce I didn’t ask for alimony or any kind of settlement because I thought that I most likely wouldn’t have had a case against him (that I knew of then), because the abuse was only my word against his, and therefore I thought I wouldn’t have been awarded anything.

I didn’t retain a lawyer for the divorce (stupid me!) because I couldn’t afford it. My ex husband’s parents paid for my ex husband’s lawyer, who handled everything. Basically I just had to read and sign a bunch of paperwork.

Recently I was told by my ex husband’s new wife that my ex husband got her pregnant in April of 2003, while my ex husband and I were still married. (I have verified the pregnancy/birth via a newspaper birth announcement.)

I know that infidelity during a marriage can count against the adulterer during divorce proceedings.

My question is, even though the divorce was finalized many years ago, because of this new evidence of infidelity, could I take my ex husband back to court and sue for alimony or some other kind of settlement?

If it depends on where I live, and the laws here, I live in Davis County, Utah, which is where my ex husband and I were married, and where we lived during our marriage.

If you have any answers or suggestions to this question, please share! Please reference your sources (whether it’s personal knowledge or if you found it online or whatever), especially if you have a website or something to refer to. Also, please note if you have any experience in law (if you’re a lawyer or law student or otherwise involved in the judiciary system), or if you’ve been through similar circumstances as my own.

Thanks so much for any assistance or insight you can offer!

Kindest Regards,
Ashley
lol…Okay, so it seems that everyone is getting the wrong perception here. I’m not out for money, or vengeance here. I’m out for justice. I don’t want his money. I want him to pay for what he put me through. He stole my childhood, and much of my life from me. (I was 16 when we started dating – he’s 9 years older than me). That’s the kind of man he is.

The funny thing is, I hadn’t thought about him for years (I forgave him and moved on with my life as soon as I finally got him out of my life [after I finally got him to stop stalking me]). It doesn’t even seem like we were ever even married, it was so long ago.

The thing that brought it back up was his current wife contacting me. It turns out that he has put her through the same things he put me through (and worse since she’s had to deal with it so long), and she’s planned on leaving him (I hope for her, and her children’s sake that she does).

Again, I don’t want his money. I want him to come to justice.
I totally see why everyone is thinking the way they are about this question. I understand where you’re coming from, as I’d have had the same reaction if I only knew as much as you do from reading my question.

That stated, I swear to you, I HAVE moved on with my life. I’m a successful artist, and am living life to the fullest of my ability.

I didn’t necessarily mean that I wanted alimony (I realize what alimony is for, and that it’s only short-term). I want to know if there’s any recourse I could have against him. If there’s a way to hold him accountable for his deeds, I’ll do it, if only on matter of principle.

Do you think if I had been dwelling on him for 7 years that I would have waited this long to do something? Definitely not.

Oh, and by the way, adultery IS illegal in some states, including Utah.


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I am desperate to save my marriage, My 5 year old son needs both Mommy and Daddy?

I live in Japan. My wife and I have always had communication problems. We fight a lot. From my perspective she is either in passive aggressive mode or simply aggressive mode most of the time. The odd thing is while she is hostile and uncompromising to me she has completely different things to say about me and her hopes when she talks about me to her mother.

We both thought we needed a break so we agreed she would take my child and visit her mother for a month. I tried to just not communicate and let things cool off and succeeded for a couple of weeks but when I called and tried to talk to her or my son she kept brushing me off even in the shortest conversations. This blew up into yet another fight over the phone after which she told me she would return to start divorce proceedings. After she came back I tried to let her cool off and made serious efforts to deal with my temper which in her view was the problem. I also tried to engage her in some actual dialog but the only thing she would talk about is divorce.

The thing is I also was in conversation with her mother who insisted that my wife was interested in repairing the marriage and that I could not take what she said at face value. No matter what I tried my wife simply would not engage in any kind of constructive conversation, and would only talk about divorce or separation.

Desperate to do anything to get her to cool off I agreed that she and my boy should go back and spend some more time with her mother. She liked that but said she wanted to go the next day. I did not know how long it would be until I could see my son again so I asked her to give me a couple of days with him so I could say good by and take him to disney land. I thought it was a reasonable request but she said "no". Impasse. The following day, she disappeared with him. After a week and a day she contacted her mother and we now know she has been in a shelter for abused women. I was not abusing her. We were not even raising our voices at each other. It seems she just wanted to deny me, the guy who is buying her plane tickets to be with her mother, a couple of days with our son.

In all our conversations she acknowledges that I am a great dad and I am, I get him up in the morning dress him feed him and take him to the bus stop, I also put him to bed most nights. In action I have been as much a mother to him, especially over the last two or three years than she has. So she keeps saying she wants us to raise our boy together, but her idea of "together" is she takes him to live in another town 500 miles away and I can see him when I can both take time off work and raise the plane fare. Plane fare is not cheap in japan and I am not a rich man, so that is simply a totally dishonest idea or an insane misrepresentation of what is practical.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to save my marriage because I love my boy more than anything in the world and I want him to have a mamma and a papa. I also want to repair the relationship with my wife but simply cannot get her to engage.

I have never felt so hopelessly depressed in my life.


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