Clean up first!!! This is a long one!!!!! My Taurus ex told me everything, he admitted that he ran away from me because he didn’t want to pressure me into a committment after ( me) going through a divorce and becoming single again. We had a beautiful relationship and still do, only its platonic now. We remained friends through me going off and dating other guys to him living with someone. A chick from his past. He admitted to me that he made a huge mistake, he says he’s told her its not working out and he wants out. He says she threatened to break his things. He’s disguisted with so many things about her like, not cooking, not cleaning, always arguing with him, and he pays all the bills, has a great job and is a really good man. We both agreed that timing was bad for us then, but it gave us a chance to go back out into the world to explore, well, I never found another like him, and always hoped that he would come back to me, he was out trying to find somebody better and got a smack in the face! I’m not sitting and waiting for him but, my hopes are high and he says there is no way he, wants to waste anymore time with this girl, so he’s gonna wait til the lease is up so that she can’t break his things. He doesn’t want sex from me and hasn’t had sex with me in about 2 years. He says he knows he will be happy with me, he says "you’ll see, I want to take care of you and your kids" He kept saying that he wants to be with me and that I have sooo many great qualities and that he made a mistake, says he’s always loved me, just didn’t want me to resent him for pushing me into a relationship, says I’m the one he wants to live with and he even wants a baby. Now this all came out of this secretive, sensitive, masculine, well behaved, loyal, dedicated man’s mouth. In the 3 years I have known this man, he has never pured his feelings about me to me this way, he always witheld. He even admitted that he thought he had found somebody better than me, and admitted he was wrong. I’m more in love with him now!!! I told him how I appreciated his honesty and will give him the time he needs to handle his business. She seems to be doing a good job at keeping me on his mind! He says he’s just gonna let the lease end and she will have to make it on her own, he’s caring and he would’t put someone with no job out on the street. I respect the way he’s handling this situation because he’s not abusing me, nor is he disrespecting her. We are not having sex until they are not living together. We both agreed to that. We may meet up a couple times, but, I’m thinking about telling him to just wait, until the lease ends. I have his respect, his loyalty and his promises for now…….. How can I make this situation as comfortable as possible yet, nudge him to maybe come clean with this woman and tell her that he’s clearly in love with another woman( me). He’s stated how he feels bad for being with her knowing he’s thinking about me and in love with me. He bought me engagement ring when we were dating but, it was too soon for me and we never ended on bad terms, never argued. He says I taught him so many things and I am the one he wants to be with. He was put under pressure to move her in because she lost her job and all, he says that she’s not ambitious like I am. This man described so many things that he loves about me, that I had no idea he even recognized. I believe this man and I know it takes a real man to be honest. He held onto me for 2years after our breakup, I am not desperate, I am very confident, beautiful, intelligent, and just know what I want. I just gotta be patient. Has any other woman dealt with this type of situation, or simular, and how did it work out? I don’t need any negetive feedback, I not asking what anyone thinks, I’m asking what the experience has been, so please refrain from wasting your time if you’re not intelligent enough to respect other people’s situation.
He didn’t come off as fake to me, he explained himself as caring about me and my feelings, not being able to look at me without lying to me, he cared too much too hurt me and didn’t want to lose me, obviously he had a feeling he mad a mistake, and I am an Aries, I am forgiving and with him I have learned patience so, I accept the truth wheher it hurts or not but, thanks for the comment
My ex has borderline personality disorder (with pathological lying)…we were married 12 years and have 2 kids together. I don’t want my ex back, but I do tend to rant when he has one of his spells (which makes some people wonder why I still talk about him). I just have to talk through things sometimes. I’m just learning (I guess too slowly for some people’s liking) that I can’t "fix" him or make him stop…and am learning ways to not let him pull me into his drama. Some people, most who have never been divorced just act like…get over it…this is so frustrating. I tend to get defensive and depressed when these people make comments about my life, etc. Borderline personality disorder is very difficult to live with and I’m doing the best I can to recover as quickly as I can…my ex attempted suicide…tried to convince me I was the one that was crazy….I’ve got a lot I’m trying to bounce back from. Just when I feel like life is good and I’m making progress…certain people make cruel comments and I just don’t know how to handle them. Ideas?
Why not ? And doesn’t this make women cheapos I mean its not like it’s the 50’s, men paid cause we made SUBSTANTIAL more money than women now women caught up ALOT. Why cant women pay the second date and pay dates on alternate basis’s in relationships ?
I mean I have no problem taking my girl out and treating her good ( definitly not a cheepo) but if im doing that on a 70 to 30 bais meaning im doing more generosity than my women and she has a job, Im going to drop her like a bad habit.
Ladies dont think for second men do this to be gentlemen or at least most men. They do it because society tells then they HAVE TO. In most of there minds they are thinking " this is BS I have to pay all the time she has a job too, I would like to be treated to also but I have to or chances Im going to get la#$ed will sink like the stock market". Thats what they think and THAT IS SAD GUYS……SAD THAT MOST GUYS GO ALONG WITH IT.
GROW A PAIR, TELL HER YOU LIKE TO BE TREATED TO/ ROMANCED TOO. SHE MIGHT LISTEN AND CHANGE IF NOT DUMP HER…TRUST ME YOU WILL THANK ME. If she actually loves you she might change.
Wheew. What do yall think ? And oh yeah ladies dont be CHEEPOS and men stop being UNITS. Be fair, I see most women as my equal, yall say you want to be equal…… so act equal its not the 50’s anymore. Guys dont take that "BUT GENTLEMAN DOES THIS" excuse please it is pure BS pure manipulation and they are just trying to save money/ being cheepos. Take your girl out but dont be only one doing it
What do yall think ?
And if any of you disagree with my opionion. Bad relationships or future divorces are in your future. Money is a issue most the time in divorce
By the way women rarely ask men out. So the rule "whoever aks pays" is kinda of bs and unfair to men dont you think?
FOOTPRINTS IN CEMENT
I.
Some say that love is
a two way street,
two to tango,
chaste-white sheets,
stay-in-one-place-
fidelity,
his and hers bathrobes,
names carved on a tree,
honeymoons and valentines
and "we always agree",
here-at-eight, dinner out,
romantic walks by the sea.
II.
"Realistically, love is sacrifice,
commitment, compromise,
accepting flaws, second chances,
third tries,
sharing the washing up,
taking it in turns to hush the baby
when it cries,
all this nonsense about romance
and these garish paper hearts
are media propaganda
and Hollywood lies."
III.
Half of all marriages
end in divorce,
it looks like love
is weak, people never stay.
Singleness is the logical
recourse,
we keep away.
IV.
(I am not one to argue,
so I whispered my dissent;
love to me always just felt the same as
leaving footprints in cement)
Candid_carnage – thanks for the star 
to clarify – I don’t really think so low of love! I was voicing alternative opinions, mine is the last (IV)
Suppose you were married and after a some odd years, you find out that she’s been seeing a girl behind your back but NO men.
She tells you she loves you deeply and is sincere and has been faithful with the same gender, but she needs the love of a woman in addition to you the husband and offers you to get into a 3-some with her indefinitely. Her partner agrees and thinks it would be a terrific idea.
Would you divorce her for cheating or would you forgive her and join the fun?
Be as honest as you can.
Thanks
I have been divorce for three years after three year we started talking again.
The reason for our divorce was I wanted to wait to have children he did not due to the age difference his 14 years older.
My ex- husband know has a child with one night stand. He want to get back together he tells me he is still in love with me.
I don’t know what to do please help…
And don’t hand me that protecting marriage crap either. If you want to save marriage, ban divorce!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=A9FJui4.UhtF8ngBzQHsy6IX?qid=20060927211016AAt7Equ
During my last post Christians complained I was judging them by the actions of a few. Or they claimed that ‘those people’ are not true Christians–funny that’s not how ‘those people’ tell it. Yet, Christians pass judgment on gays, Muslims and Jews, etc ad nausem all the time.
The only difference is when someone gay does something stupid…they are ridiculed by they gay community. Religious people greet stupidity with silent approval and allow it to continue in their name.
So if I’m not supposed to judge you on the actions of a few and we really do have freedom of religion, what makes it okay for you to do it to me or an entire community? Why do you feel so righteous when you vote away potential privileges for others?
papaof whatever….I don’t live that far away from dry ridge…don’t make me come up their and smite your pc TRY ANSWERING WITH SOMETHING OTHER THAN CUT & PASTE FOR A CHANGE.
If you have talked to your friends or family about reversing the breakup so much that they are all sick of listening to you, you probably feel like you have no where else to turn. You can’t keep talking about your relationship with them, because they all start to tell you the same things. Get over your ex. Move on with your life. If you let someone go and they come back to you it is meant to be. Get a hobby. Get a life. Find someone else.
Are you tired of hearing that you need to move on? If you really feel like your ex was the one for you and you will never find someone else like him or her, how can you ever move on? If you feel so deeply that your life is over if you don’t get your ex back, someone telling you that you need to get a life isn’t going to help much. If you knew how to move on, you would, right? If you knew that moving on wouldn’t be the biggest mistake of your life, it would be easier, wouldn’t it?
Look, your friends and family are only telling you that you need to move on because they want to see you happy and they don’t know what else to tell you. But when you know deep down that your ex is the only person you’re meant to be with, you know that moving on won’t make you feel better. When all you can think about is how to get your ex back, you know that you can’t move on until you’ve tried everything you possibly can.
That’s when you need a plan. You need to know that you can get your ex to fall back in love with you. Even if everything else you’ve tried to get your ex back has failed. Click This Link and watch the video at the top of the next page. If it sounds familiar, the answers you need for getting your ex back are on that page.
shortwayto.com – learn How You Can Get Your Ex Girlfriend or Boyfriend Back Now. How to make your ex boyfriend or Girlfriend want you back. Win back ex girlfriend. How to get your ex girlfriend back. How to get your ex boyfriend back. Win back ex boyfriend. how still advice after…
Well…I had a bad week last weekend regarding my SBTX hubby bcuz I guess I saw him and I got very emotional. Its been over a year and the pain has eased up, but yet I struggle sometimes. Well I was talking to my dad and I was telling him about my SBTX sexual behavior. About how ever since he’s been back from Iraq he hasn’t been the same. For instance, I told him how I find him on Adult Friend Finder with a pic of his "tool" and how he was emailing girls asking for 1 on 1 sex. And how he talked to some and had them calling my house for weeks. Only someone in their right minds wouldn’t stoop so low. He told me that he is suffering from a sex addiction. At first I thought he was nuts, but you know how sometimes your life flashes before your eyes, like all the signs quickly come into play. All the signs were there but I didn’t see it. I thought my husband hated me but he doesn’t. For instance, he would say that I deserve someone better than him, he left me by saying he wanted a divorce over the phone, the fact that his family doesn’t know him, I thought I did but I don’t. He said that he fell out of love with me, but I figure the reason why is because he is deeply lost and broken and maybe he is using sex as a way to feel better. Maybe the sex addiction is confusing him for his love for me. It stills hurts back its disgusting. I never thought he would have a sex addiction, but something is seriously wrong with him and after the humiliated, the pain, and the hurt, I deeply concerned for him. All I can do is pray for this pain, and forgive, even though he has hurt me. He needs help and he doesn’t look like himself. I know he has slept around, but there’s no telling with how many women. I know he did me wrong, he feels like I deserved. Its like he wants nothing to do with me, but my father says he moved away from everyone because he is ashamed of what he is doing and he loves me that is why he left so he wouldn’t hurt me anymore. What do I do? Im still deeply in love with him, but I have to live my life, Its like he’s pushing me away and he wants this divorce so he can pretty much sleep around. People keep saying once he wakes up and tries to get back with me, its going to be too late. What do I do? Should I even care? The way that he looked at me the other weekend, he looked at me like I was so beautiful, but he got mad bcuz I introduced him as my ex and when I said this my father in law, he said well if you’re going to be like that, then he is your ex father in law. Comments like that. I still care, what do I do?
My step children are hideously selfish and don’t listen to a thing I tell them. They won’t even bathe! They’re 14(boy) and 11(girl). My husband has a passive parenting style. He hates to hear any fussing or fighting and likes to avoid confrontations. He knows that they treat me bad, but he says he doesn’t understand why he lets them do it. He says he just doesn’t know how to make them do the right thing. He’s tried punishment, rewards, and a combination of both. Nothing seems to work. I know that he loves me very much and it bothers him that he can’t figure out how to make the children behave and do as they’re told. He also loves his children, but they are tearing our marriage apart. Anyone have any ideas or have you ever been in this same situation??
A little more info:
We have a two year old daughter together. Mu husband just deployed to Iraq and will be gone 15 months. The mother rarely calls, lives out of state and is schizophrenic . She sees them maybe once every other year. My husband is a good man and a good father to my baby. He carries a lot of guilt about his divorce and the impact it had on his kids. I didn’t mean to make it sound like he was spinelss. I think his passiveness stems more from guilt than anything else.
We’ve been married for about 3 1/2 years.
I tried for the first two years to have some sort of relationship with the two of them. I’ve done things with them/for them, I’m the one who takes them shopping, I’m the one who buys them new clothes, I’m the one who makes their father take them to the library, the park, etc. After two years of doing for them and getting nothing (respect) in return, I stopped doing so much for them. They are just REALLY selfish children who were used to being the bosses and getting what they wanted. I’ve even suggested family counselling, but now that my husband is deployed, it’s too late for that.
Just a little nore in defense of myself: My husband is in the military and he’s not home much. The children are left in my care. I have provided them with structure and activities. It’s easy for a few to point the finger at me and say I’m the one being selfish, but if you any idea how many "talks" the kidsa and I have had about our relationship, you’d understand why, at this point, I’m pulling my hair out. I agree with some of the negative comments. You’re right, I shouldn’t let their behavior bother me, but I don’t know of any way to just "turn off" my emotions when they treat me so badly. Even their father ADMITS that they treat me badly. Again, I have suggested (on several occasions) that we seek family councelling. I work, their father is gone, and I’m taking care of all three children. Is it so much to ask, for them to just follow a few rules? I’ve compromised a lot. I stopped nagging them to bathe, brush teeth, do homework or clean up after themselves!
By the way, Skidoo, my screen name was a joke between my sister and myself. One I’ve had for years. No hidden meaning whatsoever.
And for any of you who took offense to the term "demonic step children", come on! It was a phrase to show just how frustrated I am with them! I’ve done more for those two chilldren since I’ve known them than either their real mother or their father. I’ve taught them why they shouldn’t lie or steal, how to have compassion for others, how to take care of themselves, and a lot of other real life skills they need to become productive adults. The issues they have were going on a looooong time before I was ever in the picture. I tried to give them what they needed but they rejected me, so don’t point fingers at me for getting tired of trying to help them when they don’t want or appreciate my help. Sometimes, I think the only ones who really understand are the ones who have walked in my shoes. And some called ME judgemental?
big rift in our relationship esp when he d go out with them& conveniently not invite me, or when he d hug up on them &talk dirty, or kiss them(on the cheek). He broke up with me in nov 2007 cause i was too jealous, but we still talked on the ph, in dec he found out i wasnt really divorce(even though separated), he changed his number, and i wouldnt let up, we started talking again 1 wk later & cont till april. Will from dec through april he told he still loved me but we could never be together till i was truly divorced… I didnt get a divorce, but he finally met up with me this past april by that time i had gained 15 lbs. i wanted to wait till i lost wght, but i was stubborn and saw him anyway and i told him like a dumb A he nds to choose tween me or girl friends.. And no lie, the next day, he told me he just wanted to be friends. do u think he sd that cause of the weight, or cause of the friend thing. and what should i do, how can i get him back.
thanks trysta, it really helps hearing it fr a guys point of view, i guess. it just really gets to me cus this guy is 44, hes been there done that, divorced after 18 yrs(&cheated at least with 6 girls during his marriage), and still its not out of his system… i love him so much, i wish i could let him go for good, but i always think about him, its been 6 months, and i cant let him go.
sorry meant thanks, bart is in the house.
There are days when the kids act up so bad I just want to call my ex husband up and tell him to "come home and help me." This is 5 years after my divorce. I’m struggling so much being a single mom, not financially, but emotionally.
How come a divorce is automatically so much worse then just a break up?
Unmarried people can have children together, which means paying child support, unmarried people can buy things jointly and have ownership disputes.
So tell me, do an expensive ring and a magic piece of paper (marriage certificate) really make a relationship all that much more significant? So much so that people have baggage over a divorce for the rest of their lives? I mean people break up after living together for years and they cope just fine. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. Someone explain.
An except from an interesting op-ed:
My friend M. — you’ll understand in a moment why she’s terrified of my using her name — had to make a searing decision a year ago. She was married to a sweet, gentle man whom she loved, but who had become increasingly absent-minded. Finally, he was diagnosed with early-onset dementia.
The disease is degenerative, and he will become steadily less able to care for himself. At some point, as his medical needs multiply, he will probably need to be institutionalized.
The hospital arranged a conference call with a social worker, who outlined how the dementia and its financial toll on the family would progress, and then added, out of the blue: “Maybe you should divorce.”
“I was blown away,” M. told me. But, she said, the hospital staff members explained that they had seen it all before, many times. If M.’s husband required long-term care, the costs would be catastrophic even for a middle-class family with savings.
Eventually, after the expenses whittled away their combined assets, her husband could go on Medicaid — but by then their children’s nest egg would be gone, along with her 401(k) plan. She would face a bleak retirement with neither her husband nor her savings.
(Yes, I recognize that it is NYTimes and some people take exception).
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/30/opinion/30kristof.html?_r=1
In the Christian bible, it says it was stoning to death, and Jesus put an end to that in one sentence: "let he who is without sin cast the first stone"
But a Jewish book I read says if the woman admitted to adultery, she only need admit it and a divorce will be granted. If she didn’t admit it and the husband was suspicious, God’s name would be written on a cup and the cup would be immersed in water at the temple. The truth would be revealed whether God’s name on the cup stayed or vanished. A rabbi jokingly wrote that people said God would rather save a marriage than destroy it by revealing the truth.
I don’t know if death was a part of adultery or not and how it was applied.
Ok, so i was dating this guy 7 years ago. I was young at the time and really didn’t want to settle with anyone. I was moving back and forth from nj to fl at the time too.
Ok, so because of myspace he found me after all these years. He had spent over 0 looking for me.
He was telling me that he loves me and misses me and wants me back.
ok, so I said so hows your wife and child. He was shocked I knew. I said to him, " you know me and your sister is best friends. we talk about everything." He said that we are having problems and she is crazy.
Ok, so the girl he married has been around for years and years and she really is crazy.
Ok so he said the only reason he married her was he was ready to settle down and she was the only girl there at the time.
we have been talking on the phone for the last few weeks and he even talked to me in the same room as his wife and she dont care.
So, my question is what should I do. I love him still too. I could of been got him back but I wasn’t ready. I have him now but he is married. He wants to get a divorce and move here with me.
What should I do should I wait for him? Should I tell him to work it out with his wife because of his little girl? HELP!!!! please
My wife of 4 years, 1 child together, both about 30, has been having an affair…At least twice per month, my wife has says she is going to happy hour with co-workers. However, today, I found on her Face book account that she isn’t going with co-workers, but just ONE male co-worker. Sometimes she will come home at 4AM, other times she calls and says she’s staying with her female co-worker since they’ve all been drinking too much.
If I divorce my wife, my wife will most likely get most of the custody of our child- adultery is not grounds for divorce.
To be honest, I’d rather forgive and act like I don’t even know about it in order to save my marriage. Basically, in her email box, they sneak around. He’s married with 2 children and has made it clear that he isn’t leaving his wife. My wife sent one email back, very flirtatiously written, saying she doesn’t want him, just his sex, and he KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING (typed something like that in caps.
I looked up the divorce laws in my state in the midwest and adultery is not grounds for CHILD CUSTODY- it is for divorce, however.
Me and my ex husband have been divorce since june 09. We got joint custody. I was never at the divorce hearing because i was never notify of the court date so what he put down he got. My ex has a new child before we was divorce. Even though we live in different states and he is in the army a phone isn’t that hard to do.He never calls to check up on my son he calls like once a month he gives me child support because he has he said he wouldn’t give it to me but since he has to he does. Now I want to take him back to court because I was sole custody of my 2 year old son. My son has been in my custody since day 1. My ex never sent him a birthday card no christmas gifts his mom gets my son gifts and puts my exs name on it. He makes it seem like he is father of the year. everyone knows he has a daughter but they dont know he has a son. So I want to go back to court to get full custody more child support and to make him pay for daycare since I cant get a job in the daytime since both my parents work and dont get home til like 5 or 6. He refuses to pay for daycare or even help me. I start school next month and have to go at night because I have no one to watch my son in days and that’s why its impossible for me to get a job because no one wants to hire me because of my hours of 6-close most jobs night hours are 5-11.
Im not trying to be some bitter women but you just have to put yourself in my shoes. I just think my son deserves better and I dont want to share my son with someone who doesn’t care about him just because he didn’t want a boy but now has a daughter doesn’t mean anything. Any advice how I can get this court case started??? By the way Im 21 I live in VA and my ex i dont know where he stays he lies about his locations with me
I don’t want hubby and I to end up like those that just stay together because divorce is too messy/hard. Nor do I want to be like those who love one another buy make no effort. So I make a real effort and ask him to as well. And we get better. But what is it that couples who are still happy after 20+ years have?
PS – another (kind of separate) question – if a guy who is happy enough with his gf (later wife) cheats prior to their marriage as they had a child and had been together for ages and he wanted a bit of fun/variety – what does this mean for the long term relationship? (don’t worry – its not my hubby)!
My husband and I have been married for 7 months and about 3 months ago he left, over some jealousy issues and his family was encouraging the leave. I was helping my sister with the youth group at our church and some of the kids started texting me. The one that the problem was over was a 17 year old male. He said ‘love you’ a couple times, but in my church we say that. I’m not justifying it because it was wrong, but nothing to leave over. We were together for 5 years, before we got married. My husband left that day (in August). Right after the leave, he told me he wanted to work things out and get counseling. Then about two weeks later, he filed for divorce. He changed his phone number so for about a month, I couldn’t call him only email, but he would never respond. I called a couple times to his parent’s house for him and his father said "stop calling here, WE got rid of you"! By the way, since 8th grade and dated, his parents never liked me, and didn’t approve of us dating. Didn’t even approve of us getting married.
In October, his work moved him to Chicago for about a month, and before he left he came by, we looked through wedding and honeymoon pictures, we had sex, and he left. He stopped talking to me for about a month, while he was in Chicago. I drove up to Chicago to surprise him without him knowing, and he made me leave, and it was a 4 hour drive. He started saying things like I don’t love you anymore. I don’t miss you. We’re going through a divorce.
In November, all month, he was texting me, calling me, coming to our house, being a little more kind, and saying he’s contemplating things. He came by one night and said he misses me and wants to work things out. Then after working 3rd shift, he texts me and said that what he said was a mistake. But he kept texting me and coming home. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t for sex. We did have sex but not every time. He comes home after work from time to time and we talk. I ask him if he wants counseling and he says no, I ask him if he loves me and he says no. But he will never look me in the eye. One night he came over to stay the night, we watched a movie and went to sleep, and I asked him “Do you want out or you want out because it would be easier and he shook his head yes. He left at 5:30am because his parents were getting off a 6am and would know where he was at. But he breaks plans with me still, like stands me up. Its like he won’t come when I ask.
He asks me questions like why was I at the church when there wasn’t service, and why do you have people over at our house, etc.
In December, it’s gotten better. We’re talking more, he’s coming over more, and sometimes just stops by before work to talk. But he will talk to me, and then go a couple days without talking to me and won’t answer my calls. My lawyer called me asking what is going on, because there has been no word about the divorce at all. Like, he’s not pursuing it to his lawyer. Please help me figure out what is going on? What is he thinking and feeling?
Let me know if you have any questions about any detail?
Additional Details
Also, he made a facebook when he left and won’t add me. He told me Sunday night, that there is nothing to worry about. Also, about two months ago, I was checking his voicemail and there was a voicemail from his ex in high school Saying "If you don’t want to talk to me anymore just tell me"!!
No. He left her for me. Since that day, they never spoke. And that was 7 years ago. I have no idea how she got his number, probably from his parents.
His parents do not like his ex. They have never liked a single girl he dated. No one was good enough. He didn’t leave me for someone, if he did he would being too busy with them than for me.
Yes, but I’m trying to get some more input
Married 20 years. Two teenage children.
Difficult relationship/marriage from the very start. Basically is really seems we are not a good match at all. Many instances of horrible fights (some witnessed by the kids) including her getting physical toward me. She has attacked me physically numerous times over the years, some scars still remain. It has been a while since the last time. Maybe a year. She had an affair on me 10 years ago and we were separated for one year. During which she lived with this man. After I did my begging to save marriage and she refused, I re-connected with a high school sweetheart whom I feel is the love of my life to this very day. My wife finally came back and asked to work things out. I decided to try only because the kids were so young then. I broke that girl heart whom I was seeing.
The time since then has been the same with us as a couple. Some good times but so much discord. She has asked me many times to leave. She has multiple times told me she hates me. We are not good together.
Fast Forward: We are separated again. We are in different states now. This all due to her getting into legal trouble with the law. She is currently awaiting her fate with the courts. I have discovered she has been again talking to her lover from the affair 10 years ago. I have been alone, raising our two kids through all this. She cannot get a job because of her problems. In a nutshell, she has ruined our lives. I also blame her for health problems my father developed from all the stress of this.
I no longer love this woman. I took much time to gather all my thoughts and told her I want a Divorce. I have also told my children. I do not want to go back after all that has happened. And going back will have so many problems financially and she will have fines and penalties. We will have to claim BK. All because of her foolish actions against the law. And getting caught!!
Before I told her and the kids, I was resolute!! I have the support of my family. It’s sad, it’s not what I wanted for my life. But now she is throwing all the emotional cards at me. Begging, pleading, telling me she will change. Telling me I an ruining the kids lives. I am throwing away 20 years and things will get better. And she will get help with her anger issues etc etc etc…. Crying and Begging.
I was so sure of myself. And I think deep down I still am. But all her words have stalled my momentum. And because I do feel sorry for her, I let her continue to plead her case.
I don’t think there is any way the marriage is viable. But I am stalled at finally shutting her down and starting my life over. Why?
I love my kids. I am here for them. But I just can’t make the same decision twice based solely on them. They by the way are not happy with my decision….. But they don’t know all of what I’ve told above either….
Your Feedback Yahoo World……………..
My boyfriend and I are both divorced. When my ex and I divorced, we parted ways, He has is visitation, and I have custody. We are both involved in her life and we raise her without having to be with each other or depend on the other person.
On the other hand, my boyfriend and his ex wife (she has custody) seem to depend on each other for a lot of things, they think they need to go to dentist appointments (braces) together with the kids, and they email each other and talk about how cute the kids look in their new clothes etc….
Are they still feeling the need to have that connection they used to have with the kids? I know the kids need both parents, but is this neccesary? They can both be active caring parents without having to lean on each other for these types of things. I am just wondering if I should back off and let them do their thing, I just see this as they will end up back together in time if they still feel like they need to be a family at certain times. I just don’t feel the need to lean on my ex like this, when we divorced we gave up the family life we once had, that is part of divorce.
I know I will get some harsh comments out of this. But, maybe reality is what I need right now.
My husband and I split a year ago on my terms. Being apart from him for the last year made me realize that I love him and want to be with him and that I miss him. He waited for me for awhile to come back home then decided to date one of my friends who is also my brothers ex whom she has a child with. HE broke up with her because he said she was using him for money. He is now dating someone else and I told him how I felt and that I think about him everyday and wish I could turn back time and change things. He told me he catches himself thinking about me to but other people are involved now. His new gf and her two kids live with him now. But he was talking to me on the phone and we talked about the fun things we use to do together and little things like that. It brought a smile to my face talking to him and I was happy as I use to be. He was talking to me for 3 days in a row and I called him one night and he was very short with me & hung up. I called him back the next day while he was at work and asked what the problem was. He told me that it is causing problems with his gf talking to me. I told him I am not trying to start problems. It sounded to me like he wanted to talk to me just as much as I wanted to talk to him. He will only talk to me when hes on work time and not when hes around her or at home. We have not even taken care of any divorce paper work or anything and to tell you the truth I don’t want to move on. I want him back with me and I am not sure if he would want that to but he now has people involved. I don’t know what to think. Any suggestions?
Ok! I am going to move forward now. I will no longer initiate contact with him until he contacts me to move forward with the divorce. Although, he has kept all my things from me. Before we were married he made me sign a pre-nuptual agreement stating that I will never get any part of his home. Which, I was ok with signing because I did not marry him for his home. But….that gave him no right to keep my car, all my furniture that my grandparents gave me, I even had a hard time getting my clothes from him. I had to leave with no where to go and with nothing. I had to go and get a new car and a place to live on little income. But, since he has moved on now with this new girlfriend, then why does he feel the need to keep all my things that belong to me?? I wonder if that bothers his new girlfriend that he kept all my things. But then again, maybe not as she was also going through a divorce when she met him. But no matter what I do still care about him and want him to be happy.♥
Oh yea…and she is not pregnant. She is 40 and has two teenage kids and has her tubes tied. Her kids are 17 & 19 whom all three live with him. He is 36 & I am 28, big difference and big change in life-style for him. He wanted to have babies and we had tried for 5 years but It never happened. I went to the dr. and they said that I was fine but he did not want to go get checked out.
My wife recently found out that I was having an emotional affair with another woman via my blackberry and we are thinking of divorce after 14 years of seemingly a normal up/down marriage.
When she confronted me with this I initially lied but confessed 5 mins later after a wave guilt
Poor decision making on my part as I met the younger woman through my job. We went to lunch three times and shared "how doing" and "whats going with you?" type of text messages over a 3/4 month period. The lunches were 1 group lunch and two lunches by ourselves.
My wife asked why.. and I gave her a very honest response of the different type of attention that I received from this other woman was something new and unexpected. I just liked the attention from this pretty woman and purposely hid this from my wife as I knew it was somewhat wrong.
I was never physical with this other woman but it doesn’t seem to matter to my wife much.. I feel like a total scumbag..
My wife questions my true intentions and doubts that we were not physical..I would doubt the same. .. I’ve lost her trust and friendship an want to try get it back..
Thoughts or ideas would be appreciated from today’s biggest Loser.
When/how would a Taurus be convinced that I love him and care about him enough to want to come back to me after our divorce?
